Ok.. to be able to give me good advice on this situation you'd have to know it all. So I'm going to try to explain it. Well the summer of 2010 I met a guy named B. The way we met was perfect.. yet the most random ever (which made it perfect). He was working on landscaping (his job) in this apartment complex. Me and my friend were riding through when we noticed B and his friend... so me being 18 years old I just screamed out my window at him. When we went to leave he was still there.

Embarrassing as it was my friend pulled over right beside him and made me talk to him. So we exchanged numbers and invited him to a party that was going down there that night. We texted. He showed up at the party. He didn't try anything with me at all... was a gentlemen and just acted like a friend, but we didn't stay in contact after that night. Idk why we just didn't.

Months later I contacted him on Facebook and we hung out... had a great time. That's when it started. We dated and after a month he didn't feel like we were on the same page.. me being 18 and he was 23. He said he wanted to take a break. Breaks never work right? So I moved on, started dating someone else.. BN, the guy I've been with for the past year. At first I loved him, I still do. But it was different with us at first. He took care of me. We loved each other. But then B popped back up. And we talked for months, shared the most beautiful summer together but all while I was still dating BN.

I slept with him which was not the appropriate thing to do as I was still with BN. B and I had always had something special though.. unexplainable attraction between us even when we were both dating other people. He has a good job.. would have married me, bought us a house, gave me kids... you know start a life with me. He wanted me back bad.. he knew and admitted to me he made a mistake. He told me I was special to him different from any other girl and for that reason his heart wouldn't ever let him give up on me.

I felt horrible for doing all this behind BN's back... it wasn't right and if he ever found out it would kill him... and I love him and I didn't want to see him hurt. So I texted B and just told him I couldn't do it anymore. Now almost four months later I feel like I made the biggest mistake ever. BN hasn't had a job since before Christmas and has been just sitting back watching me pay all the bills. On our year anniversary he bought me a beautiful promise ring and made a great promise on it. But he still doesn't have a job and I'm drowning in bills all by myself. And randomly after B being out of my mind for months I can't stop thinking about him.

Yesterday the sun shined brighter and warmer then it has in awhile and the sun on my back and skin just consumed me with thoughts of B.. I wanted to cry because I. I didn't have him. I missed him. Now I'm at the same crossroads again.. I started talking to B again just last night... and I don't feel like I know what to do. I know B is the better decision.. he knows a mans place.. he'd work and help me with bills like a man is supposed to do. Unlike BN. But I'm so worried about breaking BN's heart... because I do love him. And I know it'll hurt him bad.. I'm his first girlfriend practically. And I'm worried what his family would think about me... because I'm close with them as well. I feel like I'm holding myself back because I'm afraid to hurt him... but that's not fair to me right?

Because how will I be happy? But when I say that it sounds selfish.. What do I do? Please help.

The only thing about living in a romance novel is the feelings are real and so is the lying and cheating. So start with being honest with yourself and your guy, and letting him go to find a faithful partner for himself. Sure he will hurt, and the family will hate you, but eventually, they all will get over it.

Then when you are free to do what you want, you won't be a lying cheater who is hurting everyone around her for love

The End.

Ok, here's the thing. If BN isn't pulling he's weight he's not worth it. B obviously makes your heart beat and he's the one you want more, I'm in the same situation I was going out with this boy for 1 year but the guy I was with before him, we had an undiscreable attraction that's why I broke it off, but now the boy I want is in another relationship. What I'm trying to say is you only live once and if this guy makes you happy and you know for sure he stand by you and love you go for it.before its to late.

Stop cheating, if you want to see things go with B, you need to break up with BN... it will only be a bigger heart break the longer you led him on. Break things off and start fresh with B.