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View Full Version : Is this Wrong?


Rhyanna102
Feb 14, 2012, 05:50 AM
I'm 12 years old, almost 13, and I'm In love with a 16 year old, he just turned 16 4 days ago. And I'll be 13 in 2 weeks. There is no sexual contact since we're both in high school. But he is in his last year (year 11) and I'm in my second year.(year 8) our relationship is not like anyone else's, and only my best friends, and his friends know about it.

He's different, he's smaller than the other guys, fun, he's actually quite sensitive, but just the right amount. He never makes me uncomfortable and is beautiful , he has great taste in music and we have so much in common, he's smart and funny and I love it when he talks all nerdy. I don't understand it but I love it. I love his voice and his hair and his perfect features, I love his skin tone , pale white. And I love how I can talk to him about things ( TWILIGHT) and he just enjoys hearing it. He is the most unique guy ever and I never want to lose him.

He is very old school, he's always talking about meeting my parents is important once he leaves. But then what will I do when he goes to college? I really do love him, and I'm very mature for my age, it feels like I've been raising my parents most of the time. I'm an adult now, I have had no teenage years really. Were both not interested in anything like alcohol and drugs and cigarettes like my friends are. I've never got on with people my own age really , and if I had then there's not many of them. I'm not popular and me and him have are own little world where no one else matters, when I'm with him , nothing else matters.

Is that wrong? Should I try to find someone my own age? Because he is the only guy I see. And someone in my year said that it's strange and he will be called a paedophile once he leaves. But he isn't. I really don't know what to do, and we have chemistry between us. He is perfect, not just him , his voice, his name, > deleted for privacy< ! He's not the usual type I go for, but I really don't want to loose him over an age difference. I don't know what to think. I don't know what other people will think.

talaniman
Feb 14, 2012, 04:11 PM
I get you are so intensely in love, and are very young and afraid of the future. This big secret is very scary isn't it, but at the same time safe from the criticism of others.

I would say enjoy it, but only with the full knowledge and blessing of your parents. They are also the ones to guide you through this. Not well meaning friends or an older guy who will face his own problems. I mean love is grand and all but it should never make you do anything against your parents rules or expectations for you.

So things being secret is my objection, and my fear is you will get more carried away with this great love you have and may forget what's the right thing to do, and cause a lot of trouble for you both. I don't think you should look for someone your own age though, just do the right things for the right reason, and don't keep secrets from your parents.

Its our job to protect our kids, even when they are so in love, and don't understand. You may feel like a free bird, but in reality, you ARE someone's young child. Some day you will be that free bird, but NOT today.

Trust me they would rather be told by you than a neighbor, or teacher, OR a COP!

Got any older brothers or sisters??

ScottGem
Feb 14, 2012, 04:18 PM
I wish I had a dollar for every teenager who posts here that they are very mature and really in love etc. I would be very rich. I do understand the intense feelings you are experiencing and do not wish to minimize them, but you are just 13. You do not have the experience to truly understand or deal with the emotions you are experiencing. Your home life also has you pining for a relationship because you apparently don't get what you need at home. So that is coloring your real feelings here.

The think that bothers me most is that you have not told your parents. That is an indication that you are not as mature as you think you are. But the fact is that unless your parents approve of this relationship, you need to end it.

The odds of it lasting are not very good in any case. You would be better off seeking relations with children your own age.

Fr_Chuck
Feb 14, 2012, 06:11 PM
And for all of those that say, we are not having sex because >>> you are not having sex because the boy has not gotten you to that point yet.

And I agree with Scott a mature person will tell the parents, tell their friends and so on.

Alty
Feb 14, 2012, 06:26 PM
Okay, I'm a fan of Twilight, even though I loathe to admit it, and you mention Twilight in your post. Since I am a fan, I see that many of the things you love about him describe Edward from Twilight. So I have to question, is this love, or are you trying to live out a fantasy?

The fact that you're 12 answers this question without your response.

I know you think you're mature for your age. I have a 13 year old, and he thinks he's very mature. He isn't. Maturity doesn't have to do with upbringing, or responsibility, not at your age. You simply haven't matured enough to be considered mature. You can't. You're 12. Your brain doesn't function in a way that would make you mature, no matter what you've been through in your life.

I don't want to dismiss your feelings. I'm sure that you feel very much in love. I know I did with all the guys I "dated" when I was younger, but it wasn't love. I didn't know it then, just like you don't know it now, but when I did actually mature, I understood, but it still hurt just as much as real love and loss.

Prove your maturity. Tell your parents. That's the mature thing to do. If they agree that the two of you can date (and only date, nothing else), then fine. But if they don't, then you have to abide by their rules. You may feel you're mature, but the fact is, you're only a child. If you don't tell them, or date him even if they forbid it, then there goes the maturity you claim to have. Do you understand?