My boyfriend of 4 years, wants to leave me because he is not sure if he loves me anymore, and want to experience other women. We have had issues and resolved them but he says they changed the way he felt about me and our relationship. I'm thinking that all we need is a break to see how we feel about our relationship and hopefully he'll realize what we had is worth fighting for.

I think that if his feelings have changed it is better to go your separate ways. It is better than trying to force yourselves to stay together and allowing the negative emotions to build.

I think you could probably use time to yourself to make certain you still feel about the relationship the way you think you do. Sometimes when we go through issues, our feelings change, but we are so focused on holding on that we miss the signs.

Take some time for yourself. See if perhaps you aren't holding on to a dream instead him.

I do not recommend 'breaks' because they do not allow the individuals to truly heal and move forward from the past. Plus they give the impression that the couple is still in a committed relationship when they aren't. A complete 'break up' means that there can be no accusations of cheating if/when either/both people go out with others.

Even if someday in the future you do get back together, you both need to remember that the relationship will never be as it was. If you try again, it should be by rebuilding from the ground up. You are already different people than you were four years ago. Allow yourself to see him as he is today not as you want him to be or as he was when you began your relationship. Acknowledge the changes in yourself. Make certain you know who you are and what you want without influence from someone else.

Good luck and take care of yourself.

Take him at his word and let him go exploring. Maybe its time you did some exploring yourself. Make this a break up, NOT just a break for both your sakes.

Thank you for responding. He agreed to go on a 2 week NO CONTACT break as of today to see if time apart from our relationship will change how he feels about our relationship. As we have been together for so long (4 1/2yrs)he needs a break/space to get a perspective on the relationship and think over if he definitely wants end the relationship. He thinks all the issues and fights we have had, have eaten away at our love and he doesn't feel the way he did at the beginning of the relationship, but I thought that the initial love/excitement/bliss you feel at the beginning of a relationship is just something you feel at the first stage of a relationship and overtime that love/excitement/bliss fades into just... love...

This NO CONTACT is going to be hard. We speak every day.. he is my best friend, I don't know how I will resist calling him just to see how he is.

My boyfriend of 4.5 yrs has gone on a 2 week no contact break since yesterday and I really can't stop myself from thinking about him... and the possibility of it being over in 2 weeks. I really just want to see or call him I miss him and can't resist it contacting him. What do I do to stop myself from breaking the no contact rule him? Or feeling this way?

Mia,
What is the purpose of this 2 week no contact break? And who came up with it? Was this something you both initiated?
Now, to having a bit of alone time... this might actually be a chance to concentrate on yourself to find out why it is so hard for you to be on your own.
If you feel the urge to contact your guy, instead of texting or calling, write in a blank book - kind of diary style - all the things you want to tell him. After two weeks, you can decide if you want to share the notes or not. This might help you figure out why it is so hard for you.

It is not going to be easy, but you can and must do it.
Why are you going on a two week break?

Hi Homegirl 50, we are going on a break because he doesn't know if he wants the relationship anymore and was going to end things. He feels as though his feelings have changed and time apart will prove if its just a temporary thing or just how he feels. As after 4 1/2 yrs together things become too familiar he said ''i'm 23yrs and I'm not getting any younger and I think its time to try other relationships as I don't know if our relationship is the 'one' or if your right for me as you are my first girlfriend/relationship and I want to see if anyone is better suited plus he wants to live his life without thinking about anyone'' But the thing is we get on so well... this ending feels so forced... why throw away a good relationship over this it seems so irrational. If I wasn't the 'one' would't he be attracted to other women as he says he isn't? Sooo confused... help :-(

How would you suggest resisting calling him... its so hard as I slipped up today and called him, which I regret! Because now I feel worse! :-(

Swiss_Ms.B thank you I think I will do that... I guess it will help me resist the urge to send him messages telling him how much I miss him or want him to stay. Which I know is the wrong thing to do! As I'm just putting him under pressure... which will ultimately drive him away. Just have to stick to my guns... take every day as it comes... I'll check in here every day to update you both.

Sounds like he wants to be single and is giving you a timetable to soften it.
Leave him alone. Move on with your life as if you to are broke, up not taking a break. I would imagine it is what he is doing. Don't contact him. It will be hard and will take time but as time passes and you find other outlets in your life, it will get easier.

I think that's what I plan to do... treat it like a break up... but I do still have some hope. Or is having hope only going to cause me more pain? He seems very lost he says he doesn't know who he is anymore or what he wants.

Spare yourself the pain. Just go on as if he is gone, because he really is.

Mia, you explained that your boyfriends feelings have changed. This is not something that happens overnight. I agree with Homegirl 50 about your boyfriend wanting to ease the breakup... easy for him, that is! Maybe you have been getting on so well because he hasn't had the heart to tell you what he has been contemplating for a long time. Maybe your relationship isn't as good as you think. The contact break should have been a mutual decision, it doesn't really sound like you wanted it. In all the years you were together, did you ever have arguments, did both of you ever speak about your wishes and doubts? Aren't you at all angry about your current situation?

He thinks that any issues and fights we have had and resolved, have eaten away at our relationship and he doesn't feel the way he did at the beginning of the relationship. He is not a very forgiving person with anyone... really, he usually cuts people off if they upset him which I don't think that is the way to be in life as no one is perfect and people make mistakes that's part of life.I suggested No contact to give him respect and space even though its hard for me. I am more hurt by what he said than angry I feel like I am disposable to him now its hurtful to hear. He even said if we break up he may come back to me if he regrets his decision or if the other relationships aren't as good as ours. Now that made me angry as I am not ever going to be someone's back up! I'll never look back... especially if he dates/sleeps with other people. Am I right in saying this is out of order?

What he has said is enough for me not to want him back. In essence what he is saying is he'll consider taking you back if things don't work for him. That is very selfish and it makes you an option. You don't want to have your heart belong to anyone for whom you are an option.
I would leave him completely alone.

Homegirl 50 your probably right... in my head I know that what he said is sooo... harsh and selfish. Even though he wants to explore... he gets extremely agitated and jealous and doesn't like me seeing (as friends) or speaking to other guys. As he always thinks they are interested in me... even after he told me how he felt about our relationship (Break) he said he doesn't want me to see or talk to any of my guy friends as he thinks they'll take advantage! How can he say this if he doesn't think he wants the relationship any more!

You are absolutely right! I think you already know how the story ends... obviously YOU should be the one telling him that you deserve better and that he can go where the sun doesn't shine.
Girl, I think you have a very strong sense of what is right and what is sooo wrong. Even if you feel confused, I think a part of you knows exactly what you need to do to stay mentally healthy in this situation. I wish you much strength to listen to your healthy self.

Your totally right... I think my feelings are overcrowding the logical thoughts. I'll take every day 1 step at a time. I know some days, I will feel like not getting out of bed, or eating but I understand that I need to move on... and not wait for him anymore. He broke my heart now... so who is to say he won't again 2months down the line if we continue the relationship. Plus I don't think it will ever (feel) the same or be the same after all the things he said to me... I'll always feel like he doesn't really... want to be with me if he stays and that will always be in the back of my mind overcasting me ever being happy in the relationship again.

So here I go... Day 1 of the BREAK UP not BREAK.

Do you think it would be a good idea to stay friends after 2 week of NC even though he hurt me or will it make it worse ?

My advice: Do not stay friends! It is too tempting to fall back into old patterns... read what you wrote at the beginning... "good relationship"... do you still see it as good. That is your old self, the one that is clinging on. Far down the line, when you have gone through grieving your loss - which you no doubt will have to go through, to let go and find yourself again - you might be able to be friends with him again. I would only do it when you are at the point you can say 'Breaking up with him was the best thing that happened to me, because look at where I am now'! Be strong!

Swiss_Ms.B thanks I am seeing now that it wasn't necessarily 'good'... anymore.
Me wanting to fix things and make them get back to the way they were, before,is what is making me think of it as a 'good relationship' as all I see is the good side. That is the type of person I am. I focus on the positive things in life... not the negative and he thinks of all the negative things in life. I think that is why it is so much easier for him to walk away from 'us' as he is a negative person. Maybe I should take page out of his book. Lol :-)

Im thinking staying friends won't work as if or when he dates someone I know I will feel like I've lost him all over again...

You are being falsely hopeful, STOP IT. Do not go on a break, BREAK UP. There is no need to continue trying to work out a relationship with someone who is no longer interested in you.

You are right, being friends would be a pointless disaster.

Yes I will treat it like a break up. I have no choice anyway it is all up to him in the end... should I ignore him if he calls me in 2 weeks.. as he thinks we are on a No contact break?

talaniman your right... even though he said he wants to see me still and do stuff as friends... if things don't work out... it will just hurt me more while he gets stronger... and moves on.
I've still got his stuff and need to give them back... what should I do? I don't want to see him again I think if we break up!

The two week no contact deal really makes things more complicated. I can tell you are still unsure about breaking up... '... if we break up.' you wrote. No one can make the decision for you, unfortunately. And I know about only seeing the positives, but this can also be another way of denying and shutting our eyes to things that are not good for us!
If you do break up, which I still recommend, then it should be a clear cut for both of you. In your case, I think you should meet with him one more time, give him a box of the things that belong to him, put all the issues on the table and say your farewells.

I have to be honest, a break, and a break up is the same thing to me, and that means move on in both cases. That way, there is no false hope of working it out. You cannot force some one to talk to you. And unless they are willing to talk, They won't.

Trying to be friends and broken up usually leads to Friends With Benefits, and if you are hurt now, wait until this arrangement happens.

Disappearing from there life is my answer to the break/break up thing.

So I made it through the day without calling him... It's valentines day Tuesday... so it's going to be absolutely horrible that I'm alone during that day.

Mia, you will also get through Valentine's Day! Keep in mind that this holiday was originally hyped up for sales reasons... that's why it's also called a Hallmark Holiday! By the way, it is still pretty much all about selling cards, flowers, chocolates abd I am sure many more things nowadays!
It's time to love yourself for who you are - might sound pathetic in this moment - if you need to celebrate, then give yourself something that means something, even if it is just a pretty pebble you find when going for a walk, maybe as a symbol of strength. I am sure you will come up with an idea that suits you.

It's so... hard to resist calling today! :-( but I know I got to leave him! I guess the fact he... hasn't called or cared about the fact we aren't doing anything, confirms that he really doesn't care... and isn't coming back. So sad as everyone else I know is in a relationship and is talking about how happy they are... which isn't helping me be strong!

So, let's say you call... hypothetically, of course... what exactly would you talk about? Would he possibly just say the same thing he has said before, which was that he wants to experience other women and that to him the relationship has changed because of the issues that you have dealt with? You know him well enough, that you can put yourself in his shoes - this, of course, so you don't actually call him in reality. This might give you another reason to let gooooooo...
Treat yourself to something nice today. Forget what others are doing!

Change your number, erase his. Sometimes the wanting to call is so much that drastic measures need to be taken.

I deleted it days ago... but after 4 yrs I remember it off by heart. Valentines days is almost over anyway so... I've almost made it through the day. Feeling proud of myself for achieving this!

Yes, you should, and use that motivation to continue doing so. We are proud of you too.

Starting to feel happier today... and I actually managed to laugh! And crack a joke!. instead of feeling crappy all the time.
I'm finding that I have more time to hang out with friends and family which I missed doing because I always enjoyed messing around and having a laugh with them. They help a lot :-)

Glad to hear you're having a good day. *smile*

You say that a bit of self love is key to happiness. So I plan on concentrating on loving myself... without him.
Ive realised that when you are In a relationship you forget to love yourself and you lose who you are as an individual.
I think that, If you don't know how to love yourself first... then you don't know how to love someone else. Also nobody wants to love a person who doesn't love themselves. So yes... working on "me" is the best medicine to moving forward without him. Although I do wish for us to work things out... I am losing hope and I don't think it's healthy to put my life on hold.

Having a bad day... feeling, hurt and angry... how can he just not call or care after 4 .5 yrs!

Wish I could support you more than just through this web-forum... Sorry to hear that you are feeling low today. It's normal, especially after a 4.5 year relationship. Totally understandable. You must grieve your loss to move on.
Keep in mind that he is not contacting you because of the 2 week no contact deal. It's better not to interpret what he might or might not be doing or thinking.

Thank you so... much for your support. Coping would have been a lot harder without it!
I can't help but think that, If I knew that this relationship was going to end up the way it is... I honestly would have never gotten in a relationship with him. I never thought we'd end up like this... and right now I don't think I ever want to be in another relationship again... I don't ever want to get hurt like this again! I'd rather be alone. Lol

That's what having a broken heart feels like, it's painful!

Once you've grieved, you will look back and know you did the right thing. Don't regret your choices, because you can grow stronger from this experience, if you let yourself learn from it.
Make sure you get some of your friends to hug you and pamper you to get you through this.

Sending you a big bear hug through cyber space: HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG!

Heart, as any muscle... also heals, but it takes a while. Let time pass, concentration on yourself and on your happiness is the absolutely BEST thing you can do.

It's going to be ridiculously difficult and you may cry and ask yourself what did you do wrong, but it's life miabosworth. Trust me, I'm going through it right now at this very moment with my ex/gf/whatever of, guess what, 4+ years now. It's been 2 weeks now and I swear that first week was hell, but it has actually gotten a bit easier this week. I haven't seen her in almost 2 weeks, but have been talking to her just up until 2 days ago. I had to officially embrace a NC rule myself. I want her back so very bad, but the reality of the situation is that she's gone. Your boyfriend MAY very well miss you like crazy and want to get back with you next week, but be prepared for the worst and try to put it in your head that he's already gone. I've been trying to take my own advice and it's difficult at best.

I read somewhere yesterday that logic and rationale simply can't be used when a significant other wants to break away because feelings and emotions can't be rationalized and held down my logic. The heart wants what it wants. I tried to talk and talk and talk and talk... and talk things out with my ex to no avail. It got to the point where I was actually doing more harm than good because she would get annoyed and pissed at me for constantly talking about the relationship and telling her how much I loved her. I now realize that it's completely out of my power and I just have to leave her the f*** alone and move on with my life. I'm still holding out hope that after a 2-3 weeks of NC that she'll come running back to me, but the reality of the situation is that our relationship is very well done and over with. It's confusing and doesn't make sense to me, but it is what it is. Keep doing what you're doing, no contact with him, focus on yourself and read a few similar questions on here to get even more advice. Just remember that it could always be MUCH worse, you guys could have been married with kids and it could turn out to be your best friend or sister that he left you for, some real Jerry Springer s*** lol.

Haha your right SentientAndroid I guess Im lucky... it could very well have been some jerry springer s***

Im sorry to hear that your going through the same thing, it's difficult isn't it... especially NC.
I did the same thing as you, I tried to talk things through, so many times that I think I made things worse... I even made myself feel worse as I felt guilty and needy for pressuring him into talking about the relationship as he would get annoyed. So I understand what you mean when it comes to logic and rational being non existent when your heart wants what it wants! I tried to think logically and I thought giving him space over the next 2 weeks was better for both of us mentally and emotionally.
Reflecting on things now, I do see that to some degree my relationship was not always good. People always asked me "what are you doing with him?" or "why do you stay?" even I asked myself... these questions! But... my only answers were "I love him" and we "he is not always like this." So.. although I do want him back... to some degree I don't... as time apart has made me see our relationship in a different light... It made me see that it wasn't always as good as I thought. It's still hard though...

He called me! I don't really know what to think of the call to be honest... it was just a general chat to see how "I" was and what I got up to... I kept it short and sweet as he really wasn't supposed to be talking to me.. due to (NC). Was that the right thing to do?. he sounded a bit sad when I ended the call by saying "oh...ok then I'll speak to you next week". What does this call mean?

It means absolutely nothing! He was just checking. Now if you wanted to get facts you should have asked directly without the guessing game fueling curiosity, confusion, and high hopes.

Now your focus, and resolve has been interupted and side tracked.

Your right... I didn't really want to get any false hope... and get hurt all over again in the end. That's why I thought it was best to kept the call short...

I got asked out tonight to go to a party with this guy friend... Thing is he likes me.. as more than a friend! Should I go? BUT AS A FRIEND! Or is that considered as leading him on... considering he knows I'm practically single... I want to go out to have some fun... but not if it means I'm leading him on by saying yes... as I'm not looking for anything right now.

It's coming up to the end of the 2 week break and I have to speak to him Saturday and I really don't know what to say to him... I'm so confused :-s and I'm feeling very differently about the relationship. I feel as though I do not want the relationship anymore especially after how much I got hurt, I just don't think I could forgive him for that. However I do miss him.

I find the whole thing very strange and confusing... I mean how can my feelings have changed so quickly... Is this normal!

Its normal for intense feelings to confuse us, and its important what actions we take because of them. You could always skip this two week meet up, until you are NOT confused, or have a plan for yourself you know!

Just saying.

You really don't have to speak to him, or tell him you'd prefer continuing the break up.
You are getting over him but you are unsure. That's normal.
Continue the break up but don't put a timetable on it. Just call it quits with NC

I may have some conflicting advice, but I say talk to him Saturday. What's the worse that can happen? The NC has already been broken. Relationships are crazy. I saw my ex this past Monday (because I had to) and she gave me a hug and told me how good I looked :/ I officially stopped being a whiny chump last week asking about "us" and have been talking to her as just a friend for about a week and a half now. What's crazy is that she's been going out of her way to call and text me first... like everday. I answer and respond, but I don't make the effort to be the first to call or text her. I also feel that she's lying and making s*** up to make it appear that she's incredibly happy and can do well without me, which is understandable I suppose.

It's just crazy how 2 weeks ago she was getting annoyed and telling me that she's over me that she's going to get her number changed, but once I decide to pull back and just be her "friend" she's the one initiating 90% of our conversations and talking to me every night before bed. It feels as if I've been talking to her more over these last couple of weeks now that we're apart more than I've talked to her over the last month that we were together. I don't get it.

So I am meeting him today... but he says I can see him on Tuesday instead as he isn't at work so he'll have more time rather than tonight which will be a rush. Do you think it's a good idea to see him today or shall I wait..

I don't understand the meaning of the meeting. If he tells you he has decided he wants you back, are you going to go back to him?
If you think you want to break up permanently, just tell him that and be done with it. It does not take a lot of time.
I certainly would not let him control the situation.

The only reason to wait would be desperation for a positive outcome. I see no point in HIS timetable, or conditions and I follow the rule that make sense.

Talaniman Rule - When you get dumped, disappear from their lives.

Its really simple, he is the one to come to YOU!! Not at his time and pace, YOURS, Mia!! Why because you are the only one fighting, wishing, hoping suffering! Do nothing, and let him do ALL the work!

I don't get it either.. he says it's been hard not having me in his life after 4yrs. Then he says when we meet up things will be different... so I can't gauge what he is thinking tbh. I've been acting like Ive moved on and happy. Im meeting him because I'm curious as to what he's thinking.. I have no hopes of reconciliation as I don't want to ruin my recovery, plus I'm still really hurt.
What do you mean by not letting him control the situation? How do I stop him from doing that?

You control it by saying "there is no reason to meet, I have moved on and you should too"
He left you, now he wants to come and go at will, check on you at will. That is him controlling the situation.

I see what you mean by that. Do you think he is using me as an emotional crutch by contacting me as he pleases? He says he is pretty lonely and bored but says he's OK with it and that he is surprised I'm so OK and happy and its good that I'm not moping around like most people do. I don't get what he means, is he trying to hint something or is he playing with my head?

It may be innocent, or unintentional, but look at your worry over this. You have no clue what to believe, or what to expect. As a matter of fact, I bet your own confusion has grown and you think us strangers can possibly know what's on the mind of your ex?

That's the ultimate in desperate confusion, and why we say take YOUR own time getting your head, heart, and direction straight, and not depend on him to do it for you. That would be taking control of yourself, and the situation.

I He says he is pretty lonely and bored but says he's OK with it and that he is surprised I'm so OK and happy and its good that I'm not moping around like most people do.

Read what he says, not what you maybe want him to say. He lonely and bored but he's OK and he thinks it's good that you are too. He is moving on and you should too, but if communicating with him sets you back, don't do it.

I know what I need to do! But my mixed feelings are affecting my judgement. It's hard.. but I have to see him... to get closure at least. We respect each other enough to do things face to face.

What closure are you looking for?

Closure on the relationship to talk things through now we have a clear head and some reflection and better emotional stabilty. Hopefully be on good terms in the end if things go that way. I hate the idea of any bad feelings between us... even though I'm hurt by it all.

Closure is in acceptance of the situation. Its going to hurt if its not the situation you want, and you will love it if it is. Such is the way of life.

So good luck.

I've accepted that it's over.. like you advised me to do. So I either way it goes I'm not fussed anymore.
As I know deep down that I shouldn't be wasting my love and time on someone who doesn't feel the same about me as I do about them...

I saw him and I didn't let him control the situation... like you advised and things went interestingly. I said I was over the relationship and it threw him off.. he was surprised. He said he is still attracted to me and is now asking to spend time with me and wasn't vocal on how he felt about the relationship... in fact he was very quiet! I don't really know what to do with that! Good or bad idea?

You have said what you mean, ("I said i was over the relationship"), Now mean what you say. You do that by ending the conversation, and stopping any more confusion. Disappear an do your thing.

Lets be clear, because he wants to spend time when he wants to but wants no commitment. Surely you can see that a serious relationship has been demoted to casual status. That's friends, OR friends with benefits. You disappear to allow the healing to START properly now, so you can make decisions based on facts, and not just confused feelings.

That means NO CONTACT!! NONE!! No more BSing, or piddling around with false hope, closure, and justification to NOT build a life without this fellow. No more half stepping!!!!

Ok well I guess I have pretty much messed it up! We slept together 2 times tonight it was the most amazing sex we've had but... now I feel sooo... ashamed and easy as I am not the type to ever sleep around or with someone I'm not committed to and worst of all... my feelings for him have resurfaced and all that... healing... has been undone! And I stupidly want him back again! (havent told him this) I swear there is something wrong with me, I can't be strong and never see him again!

I think I have to tell him straight that what happened can never happen again! As it complicates things... I don't think we can be friends right now... too soon.

Some of us learns things the easy way. Some the hard way. I suppose if you learn that's what counts. Have you??

I hope you know you need to get off the Roller Coaster unless you are willing to have a friends with benefits relationship with him

I've definitely learnt! The emotional turmoil associated, isn't worth putting myself through! Plus I value myself too much to allow myself to ever be treated like... "just a body".

Let it go, no point in trying to build something that both of you are not wanting.

Today has been tough day. It's a month today since we split and It is truly sunking in now and... it hurts all over again.
This break up is a rollercoaster of emotions... that never seems to stop! I just want to forget about him! But life's never that easy now, is it... there's always shades of grey.

Starting the healing process over from scratch is truly hard. That's not a grey area.

He contacted me today, we got into an argument. He just started verbally attacking me, telling me about my personality flaws and he said he wants the person he is with "to be perfect because that is the type of person I am". He says physically I'm perfect! Which is an insult! I'm not just a body!

He thinks I still want him back... which I don't! I feel like I never knew him especially after the things he said! Like how he managed to date me... "over all the other guys who thought they were better than him and wanted to date me" it just makes me feel like I was some ****ing trophy to rub in others face! It's sick! Like the last 4 yrs were all lies! I feel like a fool! L absolutely hate him now. This hurts more than the initial break up.

I told him I never want to speak to him again!

But he emailed me apologising saying he didn't want to loose me as he cares about me a lot and wants me in his life!

Why are you still communicating with this guy?

Just break up with him

I deleted his number so there was no caller ID so when he called I didn't know it was him.

I want him out of my life... he is cruel and selfish for the things he said and did. He just keeps coming back in my life, one way or another, and I don't know why!

Mia... you won't live up to his unrealistic expectations of you. You don't hear from him, and when you do, he says unkind things, and you end up in an argument. He doesn't know what he wants, but you are safe and familiar, so he keeps coming back... only to cause you more pain.

Time to tell him that HE is not what you want in a relationship and that you want no further contact with him. Then stick to it. Do not answer calls if you don't know the number. If you happen to by accident, simply tell him "I've moved on, I wish you well, good-bye" and hang up. Don't get into a conversation with him.

In time it will get easier and you will meet someone who treats you how you want to be treated.

Yes his expectations are unrealistic! I have always believed that Love and relationships are about taking the good with the bad. I accepted his tiny flaws because they didn't matter in comparison to all the things I used to like about him. Because no one is 100 % "perfect" people have flaws, that's life.

But what is bothering me is the things he says are flaws like, he thinks that I am too forgiving! Which last time I checked! Being able to forgive others isn't a bad thing!

Do you think that I should send him a message telling him that he isn't what I want in a relationship, letting him know that he isn't 100% perfect either, no one is! And how I'll find someone else who'll treat me better and that I want no further contact?

I don't want to be nasty to him because I know I will feel guilty afterwards but I feel like maybe, I need to stick up for myself...

Stick up for yourself with more words?? Words he doesn't listen to, or believe? Are you crazy or something? That keeps this BS going!

You need actions, you have said what you mean, now do the action, and mean what you say. You want him out of your life, then mean it, and do it ignore, hang up, move on. Your guilt is misdirected. I bet hanging up on him with nothing said will relieve the guilt of not standing up for yourself.

You are just mad because you can't get the last word, and have him acknowledge it. Actions will speak louder.

Yes I agree, I think the only thing that'll get through to him is actions. As far as I'm concerned... I have no connection to him anymore. I do see the light at the end of the tunnel. As time passes I realise how bad he really was for me, I feel more happy without him, but at the same time, sometimes I feel lonely. But you realise that you can fix that feeling of loneliness by finding someone new to love.

Yes i agree, I think the only thing that'll get through to him is actions. As far as I'm concerned...i have no connection to him anymore. I do see the light at the end of the tunnel. As time passes I realise how bad he really was for me, I feel more happy without him, but at the same time, sometimes i feel lonely. But you realise that you can fix that feeling of loneliness by finding someone new to love.

Or love yourself enough to build a great life that you enjoy, with friends, and activities that makes you happy.

Talaniman Rule - Never look for love, love yourself, and the things you do, and you will attract those who want to share your happiness.

Live your life and don't put it on hold for no one.

I want to have a relationship with my boyfriend but he try to thinking a about breaking up with me but I don't want a serious breaking up with him I love him so much he is very close to me I thingh aim want a close relationship with him too I need some help from you

What is going on with everything is getting very close to me very much


Live your life and don't put it on hold for no one.

Think very well too have a good sex with me is OK too

what is going on with everything is getting very close to me very much
The best thing is to move on... I did and now I'm happy, it gave me a chance to focus on "me" and now my career is taking off, I'm moving abroad! My ex wants to rekindle our relationship and now I'm not interested!
So time apart can make a great difference to how you feel about someone or a situation. In my case it made me see that his controlling behaviour, was holding me back from pursuing my dreams when we were together :)