I've been in an emotional abusive, sexless marriage for 8 years. I met a woman who was in the same situation. We're both in our early 30's and each have 2 kids. We've both divorced our prior spouses and are getting married this fall.
From the moment we met, we felt something we've never felt before; a connection that can not be explained. We can feel what the other is feeling, we know each other so very well and know our likes and dislikes, etc. Here's my dilemma. This new woman is absolutely gorgeous. It is not uncommon for men to notice her. I am not used to that. We've had many discussions about this and how she has no interest in them, she is solely in love with me and can not handle ever hurting me or losing me- I feel the same.

Why do I get so jealous, or upset when I hear comments about so and so hit on me, or 'they've always had a thing for me'. She tells me she has nothing to hide and wants me to know about everything, but this is so very hard to hear. I almost wrecked our relationship once because of it.

I tell her I love her A LOT. I admire her (not in a creepy way) and comment on her attractiveness. Lately, her replies aren't what they used to be. I think I am smothering her, but do not know how to channel or control these 'obsessions' for lack of a better word. I've NEVER been in a relationship with someone nearly as attractive as her. She is the perfect woman (and others have made that same comment) kind, sweet, sassy, honest, beautiful. When we're not together, I go crazy without her. Can not wait to hold her, kiss her, make love to her, etc... How can I show her that I have not lost interest and still am madly in love with her, yet not smother her and ruin our relationship?

Longhaul, you probably right about smothering her. It seems you are afraid to lose the best thing that has happened to you. Are you the best thing that happened to your fiancé? If yes, then you really are worrying for nothing. It is important to be able to trust in your partner. It sounds like the compliments you are paying to your future wife aren't compliments, but more like minipulations - or this might be what she is sensing. Too much of something can take away value. You either need to stop putting her up on a pedestal for the sake of you both having an equal value for each other or you need to see yourself also up on a pedestal next to her at equal hight being the best guy she could ever have.

You need to back off before she can't stand dealing with you any more and dumps you. If she says she loves you and wants to be with you, you will have to believe her and trust that she is telling you the truth. If you cannot deal with your own insecurities and issues, you will drive her away and have nothing.