Hello all,

I really like him – he is 34 and I am 33. We met online just before xmas and hit it off straightaway. We met in person less than a month back and the chemistry and connection and conversation was great. We got intimate on the 2nd date (please don't judge me on this I normally don't do this). We've had 5/6 catchups and during the last one which was 3 days back he even asked about valentines day.

He is normally the person to ask me out. The issue we've been having is with his online profile. He had taken it off after the 2nd date but I left it on since a few days later he mentioned he wanted 'something casual' so I wasn't sure. I did ask him if that meant we could see other people and he said 'not sure but am in no rush'. I had found a replica profile and had kept an eye on it. He had not logged into that since before we met in person. It had no profile pic either.

Last Friday I was shocked to see that not only had he uploaded his pic but he was active. So we talked about it and he told me his friend had told him on Wednesday that I'd been online a bit and he was shocked so he did this. I thought we had sorted it out. He told me he was a very lucky man to have a great catch like me – that his biggest fear is to miss the boat and not be married and have kids on time – that he liked me. When he was leaving I told him I'd miss him and he said 'I am already missing you'. Next morning I turned my profile off but I find him online. He had made his pic private though. So I ask him and he tells me he was online clearing his inbox to delete the acct. I left it at that. He wanted to meet that evening and I couldn't. But during the evening I checked and he was online a few times. I was upset and asked him. He told me he only goes on when he's bored, that there's no harm in emailing, that he'd been in relationships up until now and didn't want a 'full on relationship'. I activated my profile and let him know.

Next day we caught up and things were fine. We had decided not to talk about it. That's when he mentioned valentines day. He made plans to catch up on Friday.

Then I notice he was online by the hour and had made his pic public again. I was upset and went online myself but then just finally deactivated my acct – couldn't bare all this. I created a fake profile and contacted him – he responded saying he's interested and is looking forward to my email. I was so upset :( Later in the evening he texted me but I was cryptic in my answers. He finally said he thinks we need a break for a week or two since the last thing he wants is to hurt me and things were getting messy. Again he said he wanted something casual but this time he said there were no rules which meant we can date others etc. While I agreed in panic I also asked him if we were going to see each other and he said yes but he wanted to take it slow. I asked about this Friday and he said nothing. It was too late in the night anyway. I told him to sleep on it and let me know today. He has been online and hasn't responded yet.

My question is what should I do here? Is it all over? Do I assume this is a breakup? Sorry about the long post and thanks in advance. Please help and be kind – am hurting bad.

I think your natural intuition has already given you the answer so don't ignore it trust in yourself.. when he says "no rules " this is his way of telling you nicely that he's going to chat,meet ,call,email,write,whatever he desires and for you to accept it or he does not need your friendship.. and that is good to know that he's telling you this now.. so that you don't let your emotions get all deep over him.yet you can be a friend if you don't mind that his friends with benefits are the ones that he will choose before a friend with none.