Ok I swore I'd never do this but I'm so confused right now.

I met a girl 2 years older than me. I'm 26. We hit it off straight away, started talking and fell in love with each other in like 4 days. We live in different countries but said we would see how it goes.

After a couple of months we decided to make a serious go of it after she came over to see me. It took 3 months due to circumstances for me to get over to her and I was really missing her.

With her job she hardly had any time and I was probably getting under her feet a little bit, not intentionally and I'm not usually like that, I had just missed her so much. We had lots of walks holding hands, cuddling on the sofa and really enjoyed each others company. I made a silly joke that was taken the wrong way and she thought I may not be ready for this relationship and said she was having doubts and we both needed to think about things.

When I left she was telling me how much she loves me, kissing me passionately and telling me how much she would miss me. She had also said through the visit that the affection I was showing her wasn't really fair because she would be left with nothing when I left.

Since coming home she has said that she has realised that she is not ready for a relationship but knows that I am. She has also said since that she is confused and doesn't know if her decision is right or wrong but will know with Time. She has told me that she still loves me.

How can I win her back? I need to give her time but don't want to lose her by not fighting to keep her. And is it enough that we both love each other?

It sounds like she has no idea of what she wants, I would recommend to leave her alone, find someone who is as serious as you are, and find someone who is close to you. Starting a relationship that is long distance is very hard, it is even hard with relationships that have a lot of backbone.

I don't think she wants this Long Distance Relationship. Its hard and the trips are expensive and sometimes not enough. Making it worse is falling in love in 4 days then being separated after a good time. That's a rough one, and makes it hard to bond. And is very telling that the feelings fade for her when you are apart.

I would cool it and back off because too much to fast often leads to an early end for most. Just curious, what efforts do you make to travel to where she is?

Due to circumstances I've visited this one time but the trips are cheap enough and with my shifts I can visit for about 4 days at a time every 4 weeks or so. Myself though I believe that due to her job being a 24 hour a day commitment she thinks its me that isn't ready and may be scared that I will run or want attention all.of the time rather than bieng there for her. All I know is we are amazing together and I miss her

More the reason to back way off, so maybe she misses you the way you miss her. Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't, but for sure you cannot wait for her to change her mind though. You have your own life to manage.

Break ups suck, I know that, but they often are a chance to do better after a proper amount of healing through working on your own happiness without her.

The way a girl lives a Long Distance Relationship is different than a man. Your heart is torn apart and the entire world steps on it, which makes you second guess your choices - you just want the pain to end and if none of you takes a step to be physically closer, you trade the short moments of happiness for something better for yourself: inner peace.

Long distance causes just too much pain to deal with. She didn't want you to look back and think you lost your time with her. She was honest with you, she is not ready for it. After a while, the distance is nothing but that feeling of emptiness and that's why most couples can't survive.

Being alone after a long distance relationship is relaxing, it's probably why she wanted it to end. It's a relief for both of you, so make the best of it. I don't think fighting for her would be the right choice for you, just my opinion, because she probably waited until she can't handle it anymore to tell you it was over. Sometimes you have to accept that love is just not enough. If it was meant to be, it wouldn't end in the first place.

Now you can stay away from paid calls and video chats, and take care of yourself. Want to lose weight? Learn to play an instrument? Just go out with your friends you've been neglecting? See your grandma? Do it now. Focus on your own life, learn to let go and move on. Good luck.