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ariannaa
Jan 24, 2012, 02:05 AM
Should I be offended?
He commented on my fb photo I have small butt!
We aren't very close friend !
Should I take it as a insult or joke?

Thanks!

ScottGem
Jan 24, 2012, 04:19 AM
Its inappropriate, but not an insult, especially if its true. He may like small butts.

ariannaa
Jan 24, 2012, 04:35 AM
Ita true I have a small butt ;) lol
I'm thin all over ~

JudyKayTee
Jan 24, 2012, 07:13 AM
Let's see - you have a small butt and someone commented on it.

I don't understand the problem.

Quite frankly, in light of your other problem involving "dirty text messages" and your revenge posting I would stay off Facebook and find another group of friends. I have no idea what photos you are posting - maybe you should take another look at them.

On one hand you are thriving on the attention. On the other you are complaining about the attention.

I can't figure out where you're coming from.

Cat1864
Jan 24, 2012, 07:45 AM
Is this the same friend who sent the 'dirty' texts?

ariannaa, I know you have said English is not your first language and that you, at least currently, live in Canada. Do you mind sharing more about your background (especially, cultural) so that we can have a better understanding of what you are used to in the way of interactions between males and females?

From reading your posts, it sounds like you either come from a very sheltered background or you are a lot younger than you want us to believe. If you give us more information, perhaps we can give you better insight into how to handle things like comments on fb.

ariannaa
Jan 24, 2012, 07:54 AM
Lollol
But isn't it rude to comment that I have small butts?
I am east-asian
And when I was in hometown we don't say sth related to body especially boobs or butts
So I sometime confused about how I should react!

ariannaa
Jan 24, 2012, 07:57 AM
Oh my good I was that bad?? I'm 22yers old
Omg I was that bad,, cat 1864

JudyKayTee
Jan 24, 2012, 08:21 AM
What type of photos are you posting on FB that are causing you to get this type of attention? I post on FB. I don't post photos of my "boobs" and/or "butt" because I don't want the attention.

You don't want comments about your "boobs" and "butt"? Then don't post pictures of either.

If you don't want the comments, don't post the photos.

Concerning your other thread - I dated for a very long time. No one out of the blue without any provocation from me ever texted ME about having a three-way.

I think you enjoy the attention to a certain point, are provocative to a certain point and then "decide" to be offended.

But "Cat" does raise some good points.

ScottGem
Jan 24, 2012, 08:40 AM
There is a lot of context issues here. We don't know the context for these comments. So its hard to tell whether you have invited them, consciously or unconsciously.

Cat1864
Jan 24, 2012, 08:53 AM
lollol
But isn't it rude to comment that i have small butts?
I am east-asian
and when i was in hometown we don't say sth related to body especially boobs or butts
So i sometime confused about how i should react!

In the Western culture, talking about body parts (all of them) is quite common. Most people don't think twice about about commenting on another person's physical appearance. In most cases, they are trying to complimentary and not offensive. Sometimes they are noting a physical trait they find appealing or different from what they are used to seeing. For example: when I volunteered in my son's kindergarten class, one of the children asked me if my hair was all 'mine' because she was used to women with long hair having extensions.

Offensive comments are usually in how the receiver perceives them. You are accustomed to comments like the fb one crossing a cultural boundary line of 'good behavior'. To you, it may be insensitive and offensive, but I doubt it was meant that way.

To him, the comment was probably the same as saying, 'I love your shirt.' It was meant to make you feel good, not offended.

I have learned through the years to ignore 'offensive' comments. I am talking about those comments given with the intent to be as offensive and demeaning as possible. Those are usually given for 'shock' value and to get a reaction. If you don't react, then the person usually gives up fairly quickly.

Sometimes, people are offensive without meaning to be. If the person is someone you are around a lot and you truly care about their thoughts, then quietly and politely explain why the comment was offensive to you. By discussing the matter, you can learn more about each other.

To answer your other post: Not quite that bad and you can call me Cat. :)

ariannaa
Jan 24, 2012, 09:29 AM
Ii wasn't a photo commments actually
One of my friends posted wall said 'happy new year ! Baby girl '
So I commented 'happy new year by the way why do you keep calling me baby girl?'
Then suddenly he commented '()()!'
So I asked what does that mean?
So he said it's a bigg butt!! That you don't have~~
Then I thought it means I have small butts

Ahh I don't want to get attention
What's the point getting a attention on the internet?
U don't know me and my face rite??

Just it wounds my pride when someone is be insensitive
Maybe I'm really weak
And I don't wearing provocative clothes I'm not that hot to show up!!
The text thing is... there are some happenings that I didn't mention !
That was not the first time he asked 3some
Iwas'nt even know what does 3some mean ~ I thouht I was kind of game :((((((
They and their friends ignored me because I'm different!!
Their friends made fun of me for example I looked like a evil blabla~
I think bucuz of these happenings I spread text out on Facebook.
They and their friends are douchbags anyway!
I remember he texted me late at night it was creepy so I said do not cotact me
The he should not text me right (I can't block him because I don't know how to block!)
I don't know after this happened I am getting sensitive about what canadian say especially sth related to body part!

Anyway thanks for commenting

ariannaa
Jan 24, 2012, 09:32 AM
I see terrible grammar errors
Butyou guys posts help me a lot to study english haha

ScottGem
Jan 24, 2012, 09:34 AM
"Baby Girl" is a term of endearment.

Not sure what he meant by using the symbol ()() but I doubt if it was meant to be offensive.

ariannaa
Jan 24, 2012, 09:38 AM
I knew it is kina compliment she likes me a lot :p
And I her!!

JudyKayTee
Jan 24, 2012, 09:54 AM
For someone who doesn't speak English you picked up on "douche bag" rather quickly.

I'd stay off FB - and other than that I'm out of here.

Perhaps it's different cultures. I personally would stay off FB if you insult so easily.