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View Full Version : Mate being emotionally blackmailed into marrying someone... HELP!


aisha999
Jan 23, 2012, 05:09 AM
Well I'm not quite sure where to start and what to say because we're all in a state of shock, I have seen that somebody else has asked a similar question 2 years ago and would be good if that person would let us know what happened.. Anyways my mate who is 31 and still living with her Mum she has been seeing this guy for like 5 years now they get along really well they love each other a lot and I have never seen her so happy,Now here comes the hard bit her guy is basically a Catholic and she is Muslim but that has never ever been an issue to them and I guess it never will as he and her has already agreed that if they ever have kids they will be bought up her way which is fine by him,anyway he met the family they were all happy to conduct the marriage if he converted for which he said he needed some time which was fine by them then,now out of the blue her mum comes with another proposal and she wants my mate to get married to this new guy someone she has never met or has any interest in marrying whatsoever,My mate was beaten up by her mum,Hairs pulled out,her wages taken from her,not allowed contact with her guy everything that could possibly be done but they still kept seeing each other but now I guess the situation at home has changed they have confirmed that they will never let her marry her guy even if he converts and that's it end of,My mate she has become depressed she doesn't know what to do or say and is being really funny and I fear for her safety now if they do get her married off to this new proposal in short she is weak and doesn't know what to do,she's scared to leave home because she thinks her family will hurt her guy and her and plus all the emotional blackmail at home isint helping at all,Can anyone please advice as to what to do or what they wouldve done in a similar situation?

Jake2008
Jan 23, 2012, 07:24 AM
In many parts of the world, the behaviour that your mate is experiencing would be considered, without a doubt, criminal.

To add to that, where she is, the torture she suffers at the hand of her parents, is justified by their religion. It is not something that is reported, or where people answer for such crimes, obviously.

I really admire that you are trying to help her. However, I don't think you will have much luck.

Should she wish to flee, is she aware of safe places she can go. If you can provide some information to her, that would be helpful.

It is very sad that your friend has no control over her own life, but that being said, you have even less influence on the situation.

Tragic and shameful behaviour of the parents I would say.

Silver Lining
Feb 17, 2012, 04:41 AM
Ask her to blackmail her family emotionally,, worked for my friend. If her parents can hurt her so badly, I don't understand why she is taking the pain. Ask her to fight back. She has her guyz support right? Then what's the problem? If parents deny emotionally, it's one thing, but if they are absuing her, it's better she fight back.

Now, the main prob is the religion. Muslim family usually are very very very strict, specially towards the girls. I feel therez no way out.