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Danny890
Jan 22, 2012, 12:45 AM
Ok, I am thinking of several ways to be friends with this girl who is in the company in which I work but in a different department. I get to see her during a 1 hour lunch break. It has been a week since I have started working there. I had noticed her during the first day that she was very into her self, looking at herself in the glass mirrors while walking, eating lunch with her colleagues and immediately leaving for work afterwards. After 3 days I called her when she entered the cafeteria, I asked her "in which department are you?", she replied "EPS" which was her department and told me that she is a Graduate trainee etc. We had a five minute talk after which I said "Good" and she left. While she was eating her lunch, she looked at me twice or thrice. The next day, I had planned to ask her name etc. But she came in and without looking anywhere ate her food and went out. We had crossed each other again during which I think she noticed me, so she slowed down and went to her place without looking at me.
Now, I think she is a bit hesitant or something else. I would want to ask as how to approach her to be friends with me?

Danny890
Jan 22, 2012, 11:18 AM
Ok, I am thinking of several ways to be friends with this girl who is in the company in which I work but in a different department. I get to see her during a 1 hour lunch break. It has been a week since I have started working there. I had noticed her during the first day that she was very into her self, looking at herself in the glass mirrors while walking, eating lunch with her colleagues and immediately leaving for work afterwards. After 3 days I called her when she entered the cafeteria, I asked her "in which department are you?", she replied "EPS" which was her department and told me that she is a Graduate trainee etc. We had a five minute talk after which I said "Good" and she left. While she was eating her lunch, she looked at me twice or thrice. The next day, I had planned to ask her name etc. But she came in and without looking anywhere ate her food and went out. We had crossed each other again during which I think she noticed me, so she slowed down and went to her place without looking at me.
Now, I think she is a bit hesitant or something else. I would want to ask as how to approach her to be friends with me?

Schoolmarm97
Jan 23, 2012, 09:13 AM
If I'm getting an accurate picture, I'm going to suggest that you just let it ride. If she were really interested in a more involved friendship with you, you'd have known that after your brief conversation. It almost sounds as if she's avoiding further contact with you by eating quickly and leaving before you have a chance to make contact. Slow down a bit. Let things take a natural course. If you can manage to just say hello to her now and then, that's a good start. Find out her name from someone else. She may well be disinterested for reasons that you can't possibly know, like a serious boyfriend or the knowledge that she won't be at the company for very long. Whatever it is, you'll have to give it time (or do some sleuthing) to find out.

You can't make someone be your friend. Either there's a connection or there isn't. You are attracted to her, but she seems to be on a different plane.

By the way, let me add that I've been stalked in the workplace by a man who wanted to be my friend and in whom I had no interest. It's frightening and unpleasant. Don't haunt her and show up in places where you know she'll be. Just meet normally and let what will happen happen.

Danny890
Jan 23, 2012, 11:15 AM
I think you have got a wrong picture out of it. Let me clear some points.
Firstly, she rarely notices someone while walking in or eating at cafeteria, she just eats her lunch and walks out, so she did not "notice me while eating lunch and walked out hurriedly".
Secondly, I am not attracted to her, I just want to be friends with her and I was asking as how to approach in a friendly manner as I would rather prefer to be friends with a female rather than a male at work. I am not bluffing or over estimating but I am good looking enough and that have been complimented many times by my male friends, so I am not that type that some lady do not even want to be friends with.
I only need to enjoy the company of a female rather than a male at work... that is what I am pursuing.

Schoolmarm97
Jan 23, 2012, 01:14 PM
I see. That does clarify. But whether the interest is romantic or mere friendship, I still say that if she felt a connection to you, you would have noticed it as she would have been more receptive to your first approach. I'm not saying she won't be your friend in the long run, just that she may be uncomfortable for reasons you don't understand. Can you make a joke about it the next time you see her? Is that your type of personality? Or would that be too unnatural for you? If you don't chase her around and simply let the contacts occur naturally, either she will or will not be receptive to friendship with you.

Danny890
Jan 24, 2012, 09:23 AM
I saw her today looking at me for an instant or two and secondly she was with a boy who I am sure she met her today and was having good conversation with him . What I am saying is that you are presuming too much which may not be there. I wouldn't be asking her something obscene... Why should she be not receptive??

I think I should talk to her being myself not thinking too much... By the way I think I should be friends with you tooo... Are you on Facebook??

I wish
Jan 24, 2012, 09:29 AM
Take it slow. You don't want to make things awkward in a workplace. Remember, she is your colleague first and possible friend second. When you get an opportunity to talk to her, then go for it. Otherwise, leave things be and don't force a conversation.

If you want to make new friends, better to meet people outside of the workplace so that you don't run into awkward situations at work when things don't go as well as hoped.

Schoolmarm97
Jan 24, 2012, 09:51 AM
Danny, you made me smile! Yes, I'm on Fb, but not under this name.

I agree with I Wish. As I said, you need to let the friendship take its own course. I know you see no reason for her not to want to have you as a friend, but she may not see the same thing. There might just be something about you that makes her think she doesn't want to get to know you better. I know from my experience that sometimes someone just doesn't seem like a person I can have as a friend. And as I Wish pointed out, if you try to be friends in the workplace and the friendship doesn't work out, the situation becomes awkward and uncomfortable very quickly.

You seem like a very open-hearted, warm person. You like to make friends with new people, and that is a wonderful thing. Not everyone feels that way. I'm very friendly, but I've had bad experiences with friendships at work (and in other, similar settings) that ended with my "friend" causing me a great deal of trouble. For that reason, I stopped socializing with people in the workplace. I suggested that you ask around about her and see if you can find out whether there's a reason for her lack of interest. That might still be your best bet.

Danny890
Jan 24, 2012, 11:15 AM
Hahhahah... There is no lack of interest thing with her... I think you should stop presuming things and let me find out by having a cold random conversation with her and then see what happens. I am not talking about the prospect of forcefully being friends with her as TRUST ME THERE'S A WHOLE WORLD FOR ME THAN HER... I just saw her first Lol.

Schoolmarm97
Jan 24, 2012, 12:57 PM
LOL! Danny, that's just what I suggested! Just let it unfold naturally. "Cold conversation" is another way of saying that.

talaniman
Jan 24, 2012, 08:12 PM
Stop tripping casanova, and just say hi, and see what happens. Why is making friends so complicated if you are so good looking suave and got it going on?


I am not bluffing or over estimating but I am good looking enough and that have been complimented many times by my male friends, so I am not that type that some lady do not even want to be friends with.
I only need to enjoy the company of a female rather than a male at work... that is what i am pursuing.

So the guys have filled your head with nonsense, conceited BULL CRAP!

brokenheartpain
Jan 25, 2012, 01:14 AM
Don't worry... whenever you see this girl just give a small warm smile... don't rush trying to be friends with her as you may creep her out by being 2 out there... if after awhile you still have not found the right time 2 chat because she is always in a rush then.. one day mention to her what a rush she is always in and try 2 get her 2 laugh.. there you go u now have a ice breaker... good luck...