Okay so basically me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost 6 months,and I've somehow had this suspicion he's been cheating on me. Like the day before we started dating I saw him say to this girl "i think we're better off being friends" it got my suspicion up. Another time I was on his email, and I saw two girls sending pictures of themselves to him, and he asked if my friend was hot. Then, I was in the park with a few other girls and my boyfriend, I went to buy him drinks and I came back seeing him flirt with those girls, later on, he asks me if I should go for a walk with him, and so I went with him, then I saw my friend and started talking to her, he said "you have your friend there" and leaves me and goes to those girls he was flirting with. I know he has short temper, and everyday he seems mad at me, like he gives me the feeling he's mad at me, mentally killing me. Whenever he gives me a type of attitude, I leave him for a while, and we normally don't talk for an hour or two. Most of my friends say he's a player, and I should stop dating him, but one says he really loves me. I don't know what I should do, I really love him, but I can't stand to see what he's doing to me.
Please help ! And thank you for reading all of this, much appreciated. (:

Hi alicee,

Has he kept secrets from you? Does he go places and not tell you? Are you more suspicious because of what other people have told you about him being a player?

What was he doing that made you think he was flirting? It may be that what you think is flirting he may just think as being friendly and social.

Maybe he did feel that he and the one girl were better off as friends... but that was before you were dating anyway.

He might have gone back to talk to the other girls because you started talking to your friend instead of walking and talking with him.

Sometimes it is all in how you look at things.

What happens that causes you to feel that he is mad at you? Do the two of you argue frequently? When you leave and then start talking again, do the two of you discuss what caused the problem in the first place? Sometimes you can just let things go, someone was in a bad mood perhaps and you realize it wasn't a big deal, but sometimes you only keep repeating a problem if you don't try to solve it together. Have you told him how you feel about these things? If you have, what did he say?

You can either find a time to talk together about how the relationship is going and what makes you both comfortable and not comfortable, or you can end it.

If you talk, really listen to what each other is saying instead of focusing on what you are wanting to say. You might even talk about laying some ground rules... no interrupting the other person, no judging feelings, etc. take the time to hear what each other has to say about what they want and need in a relationship.

If you decide to end it, then you can look for someone who you think will be more compatible and who will cause you less worry with their behavior.

Relationships take work. Dating is a time to learn what you like and don't like in a person. He may be someone you want to stay with, and just need to work on things together more, or he may be someone you learn about relationships from and move on because you learned more about what you don't want from being with him.

I'm guessing he might've kept a few secrets from me and he does go to places sometimes and not tell me. Yeah, some people have brought my suspicions higher.

He was upclose talking with that girl and laughing.

I don't really do anything, if I talk to a guy, he gets really mad at me, and he ignores me for a while.
Well he dumped that girl the DAY before we started dating..

We argue about one a month.. and the arguments get pretty big I go crying to my best friend..

After we make up again, we don't bring up the subject, in fear that we may start fighting again..
Thanks for all the advice, ill try talking to him (:

I think you have a pretty good reason for the concern. Him having a quick temper is the part that is a concern for me. Leaving you standing there while he flirts with these other girls. Really alicee, how long are you willing to tolerate that. The question I would like to ask you is... when he is angry does he break things, throw objects, has he ever hit you, does he belittle you, call you names?

While I am waiting for your answer concerning my questions I would like to say.. you can do so much better than that. YOu deserve better.

Confront him about your concerns. And if he's not able to put you at ease, then what's the point of moving forward? There's no point dragging out a relationship if you don't feel respected.

If you feel like you deserve to be treated better, then go find someone who will do that. Why settle for less than you deserve?

He doesn't get violent, he doesn't break things or hit me, he swears at me and glares at me, it scares me sometimes..
So sorry for making you wait for this answer ! (:

alicee... talk to him about all of this at a time when you are getting along and things are calm. If you don't like the response you get, just be aware that he may feel defensive at first, and if things don't change for you, then end the relationship. You will have learned much about what you DON'T want in your next relationship.

If he shows an effort, then work with him so that you both make some changes towards a better relationship.

It sounds like he likes to intimidate you. In my opinion, I think you deserve to be with someone who will treat you with respect and love you and won't yell and swear at you. I agree that relationship do take work, but I certainly don't think it should have any effort put forward in it if your being treated the way you are.

If your looking to stay with the guy you may want to find out what is bothering him and why he gets so angry with you. Telling him that it scares you when he gets angry and swears at you. If ou can get to the root of his issue... you may be able to find a solution to his problem.

You should be having fun with each other, not all this conflict, and drama. If talking doesn't change things for the better, what's the point? After 6 months, this things should have already been resolved. Seems to me you are in love, but he really isn't!