View Full Version : Why can't my boyfriend make me orgasm anymore?
sammy_92
Jan 16, 2012, 09:40 AM
Sex is great and I've always had orgasms but the last fue weeks I haven't been able to *** I'm 19 and this is my first sexual partner and I don't really know what to do. I do enjoy sex with him I just can't *** but my boyfriend seems to blame himself and think that I don't enjoy sex how can I make this better? Please help me. X
450donn
Jan 16, 2012, 10:35 AM
You are either putting too much pressure on yourself, you are over tired or just not in the mood. No one says you have to have sex twice a day or even twice a week for that matter. Sex should happen when the time is right, you are rested and wanting to enjoy it. Heck not wanting sex for a period happens to everybody.
BTW I do not condone sex outside of marriage.
sammy_92
Jan 16, 2012, 10:51 AM
It's not that I'm not in the mood or anything like that I'm just always asking myself am I doing it right or if he's enjoying it as much as myself and all he is thinking is that his not pleasing me and doesn't believe me when I tell him he does as I'm not having orgasms.
Synnen
Jan 16, 2012, 11:09 AM
There's your problem: You're THINKING.
The more you CHASE the orgasm, and the more you THINK about sex instead of just feeling and going with the flow, the LESS you are in the moment and letting go enough to surrender to it.
Stop thinking so much and just enjoy it.
sammy_92
Jan 16, 2012, 11:14 AM
Okay ill try not to think as much thank you.
huron11
Aug 7, 2012, 12:26 AM
Hey! I have the same problem.. but I am the guy. She used to orgasm every time until recently when it has become practically impossible for her to reach orgasm. I am more of a giver.. so I care more about her orgasming than myself. I blame myself as I feel that I'm not good enough any more and makes me feel less of a man. How did you fix his.. what did you find out that could help me too?
Equalata
Aug 18, 2013, 11:05 PM
huron11, I am a girl with that problem - I used to climax no problem, and now it's hard for even me to help myself, let alone my boyfriend!
The fact that you care that much about her is wonderful. Have you told her? Tell her again.
The last thing I want is my boyfriend to feel inadequate. She could be focusing too much on trying to orgasm now, for your sake, and building up the walls unconsciously. The best thing you can do is - if this is how you feel:
- let her know that you enjoy 'taking care' of her, no matter if it takes five minutes or thirty (I wouldn't expect constant clitoris stimulation for that long, but making out and teasing does wonders). And not just talking! She might enjoy herself more when she feels that you're enjoying it too, that it's not a chore for you.
- let her know that you're here for her, and that she is amazing to you
- tell her to relax, then if she gets close, to 'let go'. It might strike a chord and break down those barriers her body has put up.
I reckon she'd be enjoying what you do anyway, even if she doesn't climax. Ask her, while you're doing it, if she enjoys it, and tell her you like to know that she enjoys it. See a pattern? Some girls get off on the fact that their man is getting off, while getting them off.
So ask her how she feels. Let her know you won't be angry, or sad, and that'll take the pressure off. It's not your fault. It's not hers either, it's just a hiccup that you will both overcome.
Good luck!