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View Full Version : Why didn't my relationship work?


metodd
Jan 5, 2012, 09:51 AM
Ok here it goes. I have been divorced for 1 year. My ex had a affair on me and it was a deal breaker for me. So in October of 2011, I went on a dating site, match.com to see what door that might open up. Well I found a wonderful women on there we texted for about a week, and went out for dinner, and everything went great.

At the time I have 3 boys all from my ex, and she has 4 kids, 1 girl with her ex, and another boy with a ex boyfriend, and twins with her deceased husband. It was great in the beginning. I went to visit every weekend I didn't have my kids after a few visits she asked if I would like to move down, so I did. It was love at first sight. It's hard to explain. We had plans to go to Vegas, and get married.

But after a month there in her house it started to get weird. She was married twice at a young age. 4 kids from 3 different guys. And her husband was killed 4 years ago in an accident. So she was alone for 3 years other than going on a few dates, in which she told me the guys would not show up to meet her. And she had knee surgery when I was living with her, and her brother had just passed away. She had a lot on her plate. But I started to see pop ups on her computer from dating sites, and asked her and she said it was nothing, but then I started to get insecure, and dwelt on it, cause that happened to me, and my ex. So this went on for a while and we had fights, and she told me I had changed etc,etc.

Then one day, I was gone, and came home on Sunday, and was on the computer. On it showed she was on a dating site. I asked her 3 times, and she lied to me then finally she said yes she was, and she just wonted to make sure she was not on there cause she was getting pop ups. So I left that night, and we ended it. But in the end I said some mean things, and she blocked me from her phone and Facebook, and she's telling all her friends I was insecure etc,etc.

I just want to know what the hell happened from getting married to this. Her deceased husband was 9 years younger. She seems to have a lot of stuff going on in her life, but why drag me into it? I left my job, and home to move in with her.

talaniman
Jan 5, 2012, 06:12 PM
TO MUCH, TOO FAST, CRASH, AND BURN!

Off hand you gave your heart to a stranger, because you had intense feelings you thought was love, and you assumed she felt the same.

But as you got to know her you found out she wasn't what you thought, and her feelings weren't the same.

But don't say she dragged you into her life, you went by choice voluntarily, and know she was already setting up her next love date.

Lust fades, love grows, if there is love there after the lust. And that my friend is the risk you take with dating, but you got to carried away before you were ready. You had high expectations for a person whose words and actions didn't match. Sounded great, but meant nothing.

Most dating relationships fail, for a variety of reasons and the best way to protect yourself, is not get to carried away with strangers. Dating is have fun getting to know someone, not marry the first hook up you get with because it feels good.

Especially when you meet them on line where anyone can say anything and have there own motives, agenda, or ISSUES.

amicon
Jan 5, 2012, 11:49 PM
TO MUCH, TOO FAST, CRASH, AND BURN!

Off hand you gave your heart to a stranger, because you had intense feelings you thought was love, and you assumed she felt the same.

But as you got to know her you found out she wasn't what you thought, and her feelings weren't the same.

But don't say she dragged you into her life, you went by choice voluntarily, and know she was already setting up her next love date.

Lust fades, love grows, if there is love there after the lust. And that my friend is the risk you take with dating, but you got to carried away before you were ready. You had high expectations for a person whose words and actions didn't match. Sounded great, but meant nothing.

Most dating relationships fail, for a variety of reasons and the best way to protect yourself, is not get to carried away with strangers. Dating is have fun getting to know someone, not marry the first hook up you get with because it feels good.

Especially when you meet them on line where anyone can say anything and have there own motives, agenda, or ISSUES.

I agee 100%!

It takes time to get to know a person well enough to know whether you want to take it any further.

metodd
Jan 6, 2012, 10:10 AM
Thanks so much you guys she told me she loved me to and she set up everything for the wedding etc,etc but she was marriade twice and had 4 kids from 3 different guys. IDK know I see her on these dating sites again just like she never knew me at all. Yes I was hurt and said mean things but for her to move on so quick blows my mind!! I feel like it's all my fault her friends that where my friends to don't even contact me anymore. I just wonder what she said.

talaniman
Jan 6, 2012, 03:19 PM
She wasn't in it to win it, and that dating experience is a thing of the past. Mourn the death of it, heal, rebuild, and move on, taking some very valuable life lessons with you.