My girlfriend and I had been dating for just about three years. We are now both freshman in college. She was always a little more into me than I was into her, but I think I loved her, and she seems pretty confident that she loves me.

I suggested we take a break for a few days back in October. I had the feeling that it was just kind of a hiatus and I just wanted to clear my head and see what I wanted. (Ive never been with another girl since we've been dating since sophomore year and we took each other's virginities). She took it REALLY hard because I guess, according to her at least, she thought it was really over. Our break lasted about a week, maybe two.

We got back together unofficially for the remainder of time leading up to last night. She would constantly ask me if I did anything with anyone else and was always on the offensive. I did not. Despite opportunity, even when I was drunk, I had the discipline to hold off and say "sorry, I cant". I always returned the questions, just to be sure, and she always said "of course not. I could never do that to you." or some lie along those lines...

So things were going great until New Years Eve (great new years by the way... ) my friend who is dating her best friend finally told me that she had sex the day after we took said break. I confronted her and she admitted it. She had sex with the hockey captain twice. From what I can gather she was distraught and desperate, and I'm sure her whore of a friend egged her on.

I freaked out and broke up with her right away. Now, though, I'm really upset. I don't know what to do without her. It sounds pathetic, I know. But now I have like 18 days until I go back to college, and all I can do is sit here and think about her and her ****ing that guy. I can't take it. Its driving me insane. I know I can never truly forgive her until I am with other girls. She feels tainted to me.

But, not to be corny, but she was probably one of my best friends. I spent most of my time with her and most of my time talking to her. So, now that I'm so upset, I have been spending all of my time talking to her, and although I get stuff off my chest by telling her how devastated I am, it doesn't seem to help.

She is incredibly upset and, trust me, she isn't a good actor. She lied to me for so long, but I know it was to protect herself. Like I said, she reeaaaallly likes me, and she just didn't want to lose me. In my opinion, I'm a pretty smart guy and good judge of character, and I truly believe that that's why she didn't tell me.

But how can I possibly forgive her? Am I more sensitive to the fact that she had sex (even though it was THE NEXT DAY) because I'm young and inexperienced as far as sleeping around goes? I just can't believe she did this. I've never felt this way. I feel empty, like a ghost and I get random waves of both utter rage and depression.

Should I forgive her? I mean, no matter WHAT I am going back to college and really getting the full college experience, but should I forgive her and be with her until I go back? It will make it way easier to make it through these next few weeks. However, I don't know that I can look at her the same way. I feel like Ill look at her and all I will see is just that piece of **** on top of my girlfriend... Ex-girlfriend.

I don't know what to do. I want her back but she is like tainted now. I don't know what to do. Please, any help or advice would be great. I've never had to experience this before and it ****in sucks. I can barely sleep and everything I see and smell and hear reminds me of her. I don't know if I loved her or not, but she still meant a lot to me, and I feel betrayed.

I know that I really wanted to be able to enjoy college, so a part of me is happy I can be free. But when we are stuck in the same town for the next 2/3 of a month, I don't know that I can't not be with her. She is the predominant part of the last three years of my life.

What do I do? Please and thank you.

Also, when I would say I didn't do anything with her, I would ask her, "well, did you?" and she would always say of course not.

Sorry you are a jerk, not having sex with someone else does not make you even, you forgive her since it was your idea to break up. You were not with her then, and she was free to do what she wanted.

I doubt you really have a choice of what to do, I doubt she would take you back after all of your drama, she deserves more than that

You either stop acting like a child and give her love and respect or you move on and forget her.

^^are you ****ing serious?

What is SHE thinking about you now? After all, you broke up with her. She didn't cheat on you.

Sorry guy, but she didn't cheat, but it was your actions, your decision to break up and that's what we call "cause, and effect".

Anything could happen when you decided you had enough, and needed a break. Since you are tripping over what did happen when you initiated this break, you either accept her actions as her own way of coping, or you leave her alone.

Yes it's a lack of experience, and maturity on both your parts as well as a total absence of honest communications. It happens and can be devastating to both partners, and changes everything.

Just own your part in this mess, and leave her alone until you can accept her part. It's a shock, for you both! Let the dust settle some more until there can be some honesty, and maturity.

Its also naïve to think that when you leave a person, by dumping them, that they won't do what they have to for themselves to feel better after being devastated. Now you have little choice but to handle your own devastation, and frustration, and conquer your own demons.

Yes I am serious, OK, blame her, it is all her fault if that is what you want to believe. Ok, maybe she showed low moral choices but she was broken hearted by the way you did. Now you broke her heart again, when she needed you to stand with her.

Chuck, sorry for being so short earlier. I was just caught off guard. I appreciate your guys' help. I think between your thoughts and talking to people in my life, I've decided to own up and realize that I definitely had a hand in this. There were miscommunications and misunderstandings, and I think the main reason I'm so hurt is that I just thought she was better than that, but she was pretty emotionally distressed. Things will definitely be different, but I'm working with her to sort things out/kinda seeing her again, at least for now, and I think I have grown and will be better for this. I still feel that I need to be with other girls for personal reasons and growth, but I don't know. Things might not be past the point of no return, whether that means just being together when in town or being able to maintain some sort of relationship. Thank you guys.

I think the main reason im so hurt is that I just thought she was better than that
We thought YOU were better than that! You're hurt?? Please reread what Tal wrote.

You broke up with her, she did what she had to do to get over it... and you're hurt. LOL. Think about that for a little while. She did nothing wrong but you seem to lay it all out like you're an innocent party that was wronged in all of this. You get over it or move on. Dwelling on it isn't going to make anything better for anyone.

Hey man, this happened to me, I broke up with my girlfriend, after a 2 year relationship, now 2 days after she went to this other guys house, and I knew something was going on my she told me she did not do anything with him, and I got back with her, believing that it didn't happen, anyway after about 3 weeks going back with each other she started being really ill, I mean throwing up and everything, she was feeling this way because of guilt, it was killing her inside, anyway yesterday I asked a guy who knew this guy who's house she went to, and he told me that they had sex, he said it was only for like 5 minutes and she gave him a blow job, so I was heartbroken and I finally said to my girlfriend tell me the truth, and she did. She told me that she had slept with him just only 2 days on braking up with me, now I then found out that she had sent pictures of her self, not that bad ones just like pictures of her bum to that lad she had slept with. Now I am heart broken I'm not going to lie, its killing me inside now she is devastated that she did it, I know this because I've never seen her like this, now she is begging me telling me she was stupid for doing it , and I said how can I trust you. Now I got back with her, and stuff like this happens to everyone buddy believe me, you either forgive and forget or move on, I know people can only tell you what to do but its down to you mate, if you love her and you wasn't with her try to make it work if you truly love her and she does you.
I hope it works out buddy, I think were in the same situation haha :P