My 17 year old lives w his father and wish to reside w me, his mother. We do live in nys. Can he decide this.

No, the child has not choice what so ever ( unless the child custody agreement would for some reason allow it)

Where the child lives is decided by court order. If one parent wants to change the terms, they will have to go back to court.
Or both parents will have to decide and do it unofficially between theirself.

The law says no. There is a court order giving primary custody to his father and ONLY a court can change that. Once he reaches 18, then he can decide for himself. Until then he is subject to court order.

Now, the likelihood is, if you go to court to seek a modification of the court order, it will be granted. At 17 a court is likely to agree with his preference. But then, the court process may take a ling enough time for him to turn 18.

There is also the issue of child support. If you are paying support, you would have to get the court to stop the support order. But if there is no support, you and the father could just mutually agree.