So I've been involved with my boyfriend for 9 months (hes 40 and I am 29)... I care about him so much but sometimes things are so hard..

He is separated and has three young children who always come first as I know they should. A big part of the struggle that I have with this relationship is that I constantly have to suck up my disappointment and my frustration when he has to cancel a date or when he sidelines me in anyway because something is going on with one of his kids (one of them is sick, soccer practice, etc.) I know that this is something that is part of the deal when you get involved with a man with kids but it still hurts. Disappointment is disappointment.

I feel like I'm expected to be understanding of his situation and put my feelings and needs aside often.and I do it because I care so much for him... but in return I feel he should be understanding of where I'm coming from, it would help if every once in a while he could go the extra mile or do something to show me he cares... he doesn't do that.. not once in 9 months has he done something to make me feel special..

A couple weeks ago he told me out of the blue how much I mean to him and how he knows how hard this is on me (not being able to spend weekends or much time in general, last minute cancellations, etc).. And he want to try harder to make it work and make me happy.he doesn't want to lose me..

Well I have seen none of this effort.. I haven't been able to spend any time with him this week
Because he was having drama with one of his kids.. and when I finally got to see him last night, he spent most of the night on the phone dealing with "the **** show at home" as he calls it.. he left me sitting at the dinner table alone... he also had to leave at 6:30 am to run to his kids house to make sure they got on the bus... he goes its OK sleep in and on my way back ill pick up some stuff and cook you breakfast (a gesture I thought would have been nice) 2 hours later he comes back empty handed.. I was like oh so I guess your not cooking breakfast.. to make matters worse, Xmas is on Sunday.. he got me nothing.. I don't care about the gift it's the gesture same thing with the breakfast..

So I got up packed my bag and go I'm out of here! He looked at me like I was crazy and then he was like ill drive you to the train station and I was like no I don't want anything from you!. I stormed out.. I was just thinking about everything all together and was just so hurt... I cried the whole way home I am just so upset.. he made no effort to call or text and neither have I.. I know he now thinks I'm crazy, like I just flipped out and left for no reason.. I just don't know what to do or how to handle this..

You signed on for this, remember.

All good relationships require communication.
Making plans on how to evolve.

Sometimes we have to rid ourselves of expectations & get to the root.

Why are you with him? And he with you?
There's a start.

You are much to young to be with a guy who has a lot of priorities, and little time for fun, games, and the excitement and thrills you rave. He just ain't got it for you, so take this as a lesson, have no regrets, because you both tried your best, but just wasn't working for you.

Heal, and move on, and resist the temporary quick fixes, and sweet words, and second chances. It was okay for a 9 month trial, but this experiment doesn't work. At least now you know better than to get guys with kids, and having fun and romance, mixed up. Works the same as a female with kids, and a baby daddy. Its rough. Now go have some fun with people who have time and freedom, like you do.

Plus he has an ex.