Hey everyone I don't know how to or where to start from. Well I got engaged in 2009 and we were suppose to get married in 2010 but 3 months before the wedding I called it off. There were many reasons and most of all his parents and family. I am a muslim and in our culture girl lives with the guys family and his parents were too much for me to handle so in our culture its not just the guy you marry it's the whole family. I truly truly loved him a lot and I still do but it got to a point that I was just unable to handle it and I called it off.

Then I came back to US and he was still living in kuwait, we never stopped communicating. It was not the same but still after couple of months later I realized I made a huge mistake and I can not live without him I told him that but by then he was over our situation I guess and after few months he got married to someone else. Well there is no way I can find out if he really got married or that's only what he is saying but whatever it is he told me he got married.

Anyway I did date couple of guys and all but I never ever stopped loving him for even a second. And just last week he told me his marriage isn't all that and he is not happy and planning on giving her a divorce. Some part of me is happy but then on the other hand I'm not sure if this is just another way of being around me or is he telling the truth. And there is actually no way of finding it out because I am not friends with any of his friends and then he lives in kuwait.

All I know I love him way too much and I have always loved him and no matter what I will always do and this is ruining my life for real. Everyone around me thinks I have changed and am not myself anymore. I have given everything to this guy and now I just feel empty. I do not care if he got married or what so ever nothing matters to me as long as I'm with him I know I sound obsessed or even psychotic but that's how I feel .
I really do not know what to do I have tried not to talk to him, date some one else, keeping myself busy, right now I have such busy schedule that I barely have time for myself but some how I always get time to think of him and miss him.

I even know if now I get back with him my parents and family will be really upset and I will literally have to give up everything in my life but at this point nothing matters all I want is him. I have no clue what to do anymore because I'm just miserable without him.

Break off any and all contact, You don't even trust he told you the truth about being married, his family is still going to be an issue, and now you will be compared to a "first wife" perhaps blamed for the divorce.

You are in love with a memory that is not real, break off all contact and go get counseling to get over him if you need to

I have tried breaking off all contacts and I have tried not talking to him for few months but then I fall right back into the whole mess again and that's because I have attached myself so much to him and his memories that everything reminds me of him so no matter what I do I end up thinking about him. And now that he told me he may divorce her there a hope of being with him again but then who knows the truth I'm not sure but I would want to find out what the real deal is.. but don't know how

The best way to find out what's the real deal, is to leave married guys alone, and have nothing to do with them. Get a life without him, and be happy.

Acting on your feelings for a married guy is to travel down a very wrong path of confusion, and misery... and that immaturity will bite you in the butt!

Have some dignity and self respect because if any finds out about your foolish stupidity, you will have hell to pay.

It all sounds fishy to me.
You have to cut the cord.

Hes married.

What? Do you want to be one of those girls.

Im sure he likes hearing from you, inflates his ego knowing you are hanging around.
Telling you how he wants to spilt. Yeah right. And you believe it.

I agree. Have some self-respect.

I can't believe someone would pine after someone that's married.
Made their decision. Used you. Keeps doing it. With your allowance.

You're tripping. Get a grip.

"3 months before the wedding I called it off"
There you go. For whatever reason.

You have already used your gut

We all move on. Do it.

If not, you will waste lots of your time for nothing.