If teen father lives n one state and teen mother and son live in another state what our his options to be involved in his child's life. We helped our son get on both states punitative(sp) father registry before birth of child after we spent many months searching for the mother and her family. With the help of a friend we had a skip trace done. The mother was lets say in a nice way telling my son and us that no matter what their would be no paternity test to be done. I think that is why they moved out of state in middle of night without any warning to anyone didn't even give their landlord any notice. After the skip trace was done we learned a lot about her family that concerns us about our grandson's stable enviroment(sp)especially that fact the family seems to move every 6 months or so ,which is the least of our concern issues that we found out there are other issues of greater concerns that has us worried about his up bringing in that enviroment(Sp). Our problem is we know you will say hire attorney but we don't have the extra funds for that. But my son's heart breaks the first questioned he asked after the confirmation he was the father was when can I see my son and when can I raise my son. Thank you for any input on this matter.

He files for visits, in fact if she moved out of state after the pregnancy to avoid him seeing the child, he can file in court to order her to return the child back to his state.

He has the right to file for a DNA test and the right to file for visits and more.

He needs an attorney to start the process.

When and where was the child born? This is essential info for us to help. How old is your son and the mother?

But frankly you can't afford NOT to have an attorney. You are in a complex situation here.

Depending on the timing, you may be able to get custody. You also should talk to the police. If she left AFTER the child was born, then she may be prosecutable for parental kidnapping. So you may be able to use that to get the child back.

If you want to try going it pro se (without counsel), then see if there are legal aid options, support groups or maybe a local law school with a clinic that can help you prepare the paperwork.

Thanks for some info. She and her family moved from Missouri to Ohio before the baby was born. DNA test is done and been confirmed we started that process and received the letter back this week. Not sure how he goes about getting his name on birth certificate and visitation rights started since it involves two states. Plus we the grandparents would like to have our visitation rights put into place. Will have to call our state legal aid and see if he would qualify for assistance in this matter.

Reason they moved I am sure is because we told them we were going to get dna test done lets say in nice words we were told no way will that happen. I think they thought we would not look for them or couldn't find them or that we would not care to look for them but that is not the case at all. We want what is best for the child and see that he has a good life and not a life that would be full of obstacles or problems. Lets just say skip trace has shown some alarms and concerns for us.

You start it by hiring an attorney, you will have a case only in one state, so your attorney can help you with that. It can even depend on how fast you file, to how long ago she moved, and what residentcy laws are in both states.

That is why faster to court can be better.

How did you get a DNA test? Was it ordered by a court? And you didn't answer about the ages or timing of the birth.

But you NEED an attorney to determine where jurisdiction lies. If she had moved after the baby was born it would be clear.

The teen mother was 16 her birthday was in June. Baby was born in July. Our son was 15 his birthday was in August. So as of now both teens are 16. The teens mother's family moved to Ohio in April of 2011 and since the child was born in Ohio I assume that is were the case will have to be handled. We got the DNA test done by going through our state Missouri child support division which was several back and forth letters with them because they needed more information and our consent as parents since our son was a minor to have the DNA test done. He have been very proactive in this process helping our son with his wishes in this matter. I admire my son for wanting to step up to the plate and be a active parent in his son's life. I don't think there are a lot of teen fathers who would want to do that especially since they moved out or state to another state. The teen mother called our son last night and told him he could see his son but I as the grandmother was not allowed she also sent him a picture to his cell phone. We had a family member pass away in Ohio and some of my siblings went to that funeral and was told by someone that the reason they did not seek a DNA test was because they did not want to travel back and forth to Missouri for visitation. So as I think of that it makes me think that they want things their way or no way at all. It troubles me to think that they are only thinking of themselves and not what is best for the child. We have a stable home married for 20 plus years and respectful ,responiable, good Christian citizens who are trying to do what is best for our son and grandson. Our son made a mistake, accident what ever one may want to call it. When you make a choice to have sex and a child is created then you have to make another choice on what and how you go on with your life that includes a child. The choices to be made are adoption,abortion or keeping the child. Which mostly is the females choice but from day one our sons choice was to raise the child. Abortion was not a choice for him because it conflicts with our morals,beliefs and values. Adoption wasn't a choice because he said I don't want someone else raising my child. With that being said we started the process before the Child's birth at contacting both states and putting him on the puntative father's registry in both states and contacting both states child support division to see how he went about getting a DNA test done. We owe a big thank you to a friend in a different state who did a skip trace to locate them. We will never be able to thank her enough.

Ok, First let me applaud your son for taking responsibility for his actions. His attitude is a good reflection on the job you did raising him.

I'm still surprised that you got a DNA test done. It should have taken a order from an Ohio court to compel the mother to submit. But given that the child was born in Ohio almost six months ago, you need to move immediately. An order for custody needs to be filed in MO this week if possible. If not, it is probable that Ohio will have jurisdiction. Even then it is a slim chance that it won't.

Did you check on parental kidnapping charges as I suggested?

As long as Ohio has jurisdiction, I can't see a good outcome for you and your son. He will be responsible for paying child support until the child is 18. And visitation will be limited. He might get the child for holidays and summer vacations, but not much else.

I don't know if it was a court order or not that the dna was done. My guess is that the mother was receiving state aid and the division of family services step in and served her papers. The reason for the dna test was because my son wanted to know how to proceed in his life and didn't want to go into a future relationship with another girl or someday get married and have a surprise down the road. He wants to go into a open honest relationship with whoever the next girl shall be. I am putting a call into legal aid to see if he could get some assistance or maybe they could tell us how to go our son filing papers in court seeking custody. I did not check on parental kidnapping because she was 6 mo. In pregnancy when her family moved and what I saw on Ohio Laws was mother had sole custody until the paternity of the father was established.

I'm assuming that your son informed the mother of his wishes to be a part of the child's life. Given that her moving without informing your son of his child's whereabouts could be considered parental kidnapping and I strongly suggest you look into that.

If she had gotten an abortion your son would have nothing to say about it. But hiding the child is a no no.

If she applies for public assistance, Ohio will require that she identify the father. So that's where the DNA test probably came from.

My thought based on some vague info about the family of the girl - hire an investigator to run a background check. The "skip trace" will allow you to locate the family but you need PROOF that they and/or their lifestyle are unsafe for the child.

Grandparents rights are not routinely granted. It will depend on which State has jurisdiction.

This is your Grandchild - I appreciate that money is tight but there is one chance to get this right and I think you need an Attorney in order to get the best result. Yes, you can always go back to Court at a later time if you don't like the way things go the first time you're in Court - but think of the child in the meantime.

... An order for custody needs to be filed in MO this week if possible. If not, it is probable that Ohio will have jurisdiction. ...

Without question, Ohio has jurisdiction. The child was born there, so that is the child's home state.

Thank you all for responding . We talked to legal aid today they cannot help our son because we are above the income line so we will have to see what a local attorney in Ohio would cost to at least start some sort of process for our sons rights in his son's life. My concerns about my grandchild are great concerns especially since I have witnessed the teen mom on 2 incidents thrown up againist a cabinet by her mother and thrown onto a dining room table by step father .Which I know they have had trouble with there daughter but the way they handled it was wrong. But dad tried to justify it was cause she startled him by hitting him on back and he turned around instinct and she went about 6 feet across room and landed on dining room table. The part I saw was landing on table and things fell off table. The mother on her incident thought her daughter was smirking at her or laughing at her. When we were having a conversation why she was unloading the dishwasher. The mother did apologize for over reacting but still those issues and a few other issues uncovered are concerns for us. Driving without license passed arrest step father had custody of his kids at some point and the kids were placed back into the mother care. This is info. They shared with us. But why that happened we are still unclear about cause of the web of lies they already told us that we found out were lies. They moved here saying they wanted a fresh start when the truth may be part of that but stepfather is wanted in Florida for large sum of back child support so that is how he lost his license. They also have used alas names in past and arrest of other things. Defruading government benefits not reporting all who live with them and the income that coming into the home. Mother gets disability father was getting unemployment and a guy living in there home they called dad and grandpa who happened to be a step uncle of mine. Mother was getting child support from 2 of her three kids dads. All 3 children have different dads the step father not bio. Dad to any of the 3 . He has 2 kids from his previous marriage. One of the men in the household we have just learned was collecting unemployment illegally but we have not gotten solid info for sure. This came about when my uncle passed away in Ohio and going back to his funeral it was told to my half sister by my uncles ex wife who he was living with when the family moved back there. My uncle moved back in with her instead of this family. He also shared with me if our son was the baby father I would go after custody but you know it could be blank or blank child also cause mother was bouncing around with different boyfriends. Trust me he said you don't want to be tied to that family. What I told him was first we will establish paternity and then follow procedures from there. That was the second to last time I spoke to him before his passing. I guess it back to research to try and gelp my son some how some way I know God will direct and guide in this matter. Thank you all.

It sounds like a horror story. Did you know all of this when your son was dating (and having unprotected sex) with the girl?

First, I'd speak to him about birth control.

Next - and I'm an investigator - I would hire an investigator to run thorough background checks on the stepfather (or whoever he is) , info which can be verified AND used in Court.

Did know a lot about the family when they first moved her only started discovering things as I was trying to help them. My sister said she would help them find, home jobs and all that if they moved here. My uncle has always wanted to move here. Out of respect for him I stepped up to the plate to help them find a home show them around our town of 14,000 and my husband tried to help them get jobs at a warehouse for the company he works for. My husband works in corporate office and tried to help them with there training and background work experience they gave us at the warehouse but later on when my husband when to inquire if they turned in there apps the manager of warehouse said no and one said he did which was a lie. The other my uncle said no because he was trying to heal his foot first complications from diabetes. Did not know a lot of things when we first met them. But as they started saying or doing some things that is what raised red flags. We are talking from July to Nov. in a single year. I usually went over to their home when my son wanted to go see their daughter. Then my son asked if I could go over without me and shame on me I guess for allowing that cause ear got pierced and a child was created. Boy did he have a lecture about the rule of home about having sex and unprotected sex. He didn't follow that rule. I lost my cool when the stepfather told my son if I were you I would be with as many girls as I could at 15 to know which type of girl you would like. That and ear piercing is when I started pulling the amount of time we would go over there. This was before we found out in Nov. open deer weekend we found out she was pregnant. We let them know that we would seek a DNA test and that my son would not be allowed over without my presence. The last time we spoke to her parents was on Thanksgiving when the girl called and asked if my son would come over. Not a happy or good visit.The week prior we talked to her parents about the situation and they said they were not surprised because where they had lived in Florida girls were pregnant at 13. The weekend of deer season is when the girl told her parents my uncle and I that my son lost his virginity to her in their barn style garage loft. You can only imagine my feelings when she said that and was laughing about it like no big problem or issue. My husband is a good judge of character and was telling me we need to distant ourselves cause something didn't seem right. But my Nature is to help others and minister to them more so then my husbands does. But I think it comes from my husbands line of work that he analyzes a lot he is a loss prevention manager. As my boys would say about their dads job when they were younger he is like a police detective when someone asked them what there dad did for a living.

Thank you all for responding . We talked to legal aid today they cannot help our son because we are above the income line so we will have to see what a local attorney in Ohio would cost to at least start some sort of process for our sons rights in his son's life.

I have to say this at this time. I believe you were lied to by legal aid. Your income has nothing to do with your son seeking relief in the courts. You may wish to ask them again. The reason being is that your child is semi-emancipated. A person being a minor has parental rights to their child and may make legal as well as medical decisions involving that child. No they can't go and sign a contract for an apartment or anything but as far as needing representation that should be allowed. It is his income in stand alone fashion that merrits it. Your income has nothing to do with it as your not a party to this action. Your limit to your son is your parental liability. Now that he is a potential parent he has that liability under the law. It is an odd situation. But this filing is not about protecting him from the laws vengeance (like in the commission of a crime) but this is to protect his parental rights as guaranteed by law.

It is 2 different points of reference and perspective. Should he be proclaimed the father they are not coming after you for child support only him. So it stands to reason that he stands alone when facing the courts. Im not trying to be harsh with what your doing. Im just stating how the law treats a minor with child.

THANKS CAL BUT ACCORDING TO State of Missouri legal aid today they said because my son is a minor he needed a next of friend not kin but friend to act on his behalf in this issue. So they asked me for my husband an I info. And such. I will give them a call tomorrow and see what they tell me and I will call state of Ohio legal aid and see what they tell me I hung up today when I called Ohio's legal aid cause I was on hold for over 30 minutes. I feel like my son is getting the run around and he is getting a crash course and so are we in this matter. I feel as if my son is going to loose his son before he even gets a chance to know his son. I just don't want them to say he has been a absent or abandoned father when he is so trying to step up and look out for his son's best interest.

You want a local attorney. Your attorney will contact an Ohio affiliate, but you want a local attorney to deal with directly.

You might this interesting reading.

http://minors.uslegal.com/emancipation/missouri-emancipation-of-minor-law/

Thanks cal but I'm sorry I am confused by the article cause it looks like my son would have to have Emancipation in court or am I reading this wrong when it comes to legal jargon it trips me up at times but I am keeping this article to further investigate the issue. I am going to look under the Missouri revised statues and see if I can find anything there about the issue.

Thanks cal but I m sorry I am confused by the article cause it looks like my son would have to have Emancipation in court or am I reading this wrong when it comes to legal jargon it trips me up at times but I am keeping this article to further investigate the issue. I am going to look under the Missouri revised statues and see if I can find anything there about the issue.

As I had said before. He is semi-emancipated already. When it comes to decisions over his child he has that right. They don't take babies away from the minor mothers and turn them over to the parents do they? Call a hospital and ask if a minor can make decisions for the child they have just had. They will tell you yes. If he is proven the father then he has those same rights. You are still responsible for him as he is still a minor. But he is just as responsible for his child as you are for him.

It's the law.

I'm not sure if I can help here, but I have experience with teen parents in that I am a labor and delivery nurse and have delivered many babies to teen parents.

As this girl and your son are both teen parents, they are emancipated in the sense that they can make decisions, and enter into contracts, that concern the health and welfare of the child they share. Besides custody and visitation, these are the rights that your son has when it comes to the child. For example, if the baby becomes terminally ill, your son and the mother of the child have the right to decide, and enter into a contract, the treatment of the baby. This is part and parcel of the rights and responsibilities of parenthood.

I'm not sure if this helps at all, I am just trying to explain how your son is emancipated in this sense.

Thank you all for helping my family learn about teen parenthood. I think I am going to call legal aid again and ask them that question about him already in some degree being already emancipated and ask why is our financial info being used in determining his qualification for service and see how they respond. If I don't ask I won't know. It never hurts to ask. AS I tell my students at school daily no question is a stupid question if you don't know or don't ask. So thank you all for teaching and educating me in this area much appreciated.

Unfortunately you may be in a catch-22 situation here. While he is considered emancipated in order to make decisions regarding his child, your son is not legally an adult. By this I mean that he is still your financial responsibility when it comes to legal aid as well as contractually in this case.

Basically, he has the ability to sign consents for medical treatment of his child, or get him enrolled in school, etc. But he is still considered a minor when it comes to any other contractual issues.

J 9 thank you for letting me know this. This is a sad situation I guess for my son because we do not have excess funds to hire a attorney for him but teen moms can get legal aid and have all rights when child is born and the fathers have none unless they hire a lawyer. But more importantly this is a very sad situation for his son. What I guess I will tell mom son is write a journal as we the grandparents are doing so that when the day comes Ryan can read and see we tried everything we could do in our power to help him. I guess we will have to rest this issue in God's hand as we and several from our church have been praying for him. I am so blessed to have a wonderful church and prayer chain to assist in praying for this issue at hand a innocent child without a parent in his life. Thank You Thank You

Right now my son has no rights because he is not on birth certificate or any court order granting him any rights other then child support. Mother will not take it to court cause she knows if she doesn't she has the upper hand by avoiding court. There needs to be some laws giving teen fathers rights as son as paternity is established so they can active in their child's life. I wish I had more knowledge in this area so my son could go to court without a lawyer but that is not the case. But I am learning as much as I can over Christmas break before school starts back and back to teaching. I just don't want my son to have the court say he has been absent father in his child life and his rights gone forever. Thank You off to say some prayers so this situation.

Since a DNA test was ordered by a govt authority and that DNA test proved your son the father, you can argue that he is now the legal father and has rights. But those rights still have to be ordered by a court.

Another avenue for legal help for you might be a local law school. Many law schools have clinics that will help prepare paperwork, petitions, briefs, etc. as well as advise on strategy. So I would check that out.

The journal is a very good idea. But I would be careful about it being negative towards the mother and her family. Emphasize the positive about what you and your son are doing not how the mother and her family are blocking.

Thanks Scott will do. Keeping the journal about what are daily activities are not about the negatives about mother and her family . I do indeed have a major University near by maybe as you suggested calling their law school and see if they can assist in matter. At this point anything is worth a try.

Although you have had a paternity test done, one of the sayings in the L&D department is "Mother's Baby, Daddy's Maybe." Unfortunately the father has the hardest time in all of this.

I agree with the Law School idea. There are many students who will be willing to help for free or a small fee.

I don't know where in MO you are, but here is a list of Law Schools that may be near you and may help.

Missouri Law Schools - Missouri State Resources - AllLaw (http://www.alllaw.com/state_resources/missouri/law_schools/)

As another suggestion... Contact the Bureau of Vital Statistics in the state where the child was born to see about how your son can get on the birth certificate.

Ty J9 looking it up and going to call and see what they tell me.

Well I should know nothing is easy at all in this issue of teen fatherhood rights Called vital statistics in Ohio and was told he cannot get on birth certificate without court order or the Mother and then him signing acknowledge of paternity considering she hasn't given my son her address or phone number not sure unless we just send to the last known address we had for her family when we did a skip trace. I am not sure if that would provoke them to up and move again or if she would respond back. Maybe the next time she calls my son he could ask her for her address and phone number and see what she says. I guess this Christmas break is not going to be much of a break and relax before school but it will be one to remember as helping my son and rights to be a dad that matter right now. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer so those of you out there who are would you please pray for my son and this situation thank you so much and God Bless each of you.

considering she hasn't given my son her address or phone number

So you still haven't pursued parental kidnapping yet? Again, if she is hiding his son from him that is parental kidnapping. Talk to the police and the FBI.

As for Ohio requiring a court order, get a copy of the ruling on the DNA test. If she was compelled to submit to a test and a government agency has declared him to be the father, then you should be able to get the birth certificate modified.

I'm going to be harsh - prayers may or may not help you now. I think it's time to follow some of the advice that has been given to you. The child (according to what you have posted) very possibly is in danger. DO SOMETHING TO CHANGE THAT!

This is why teenage parents, no matter how responsible, no matter how serious, no matter how invo;ved, are a big problem. Your son is tied to "these people" for a MINIMUM of 18 years. Apparently you are, too.

I'm a taxpayer - and I'm getting very tired of paying for welfare and health care and whatever else for children born out of wedlock. Very tired. I have no idea how your son plans to support this child. To some extent I am sure you will. Probably so will the taxpayers.

I realize there were problems which you realized too late - and, as I said, I understand all about hormones. Didn't it ever cross his mind that she could get pregnant?

So get an Attorney before they skip. Hire a PI. Do something proactive instead of reactive.

This is beginning to read like a blog or a prayer circle.

Again - sorry to be harsh but how many times do people who are experts in these matters have to point you in the right direction before you take action?

More reading and information for Ohio.

Ref:

What Happens after paternity has been established
When a man is presumed, found or declared to be the father of a child under the Uniform Parentage Act, or if the father has acknowledged the child as his child in an acknowledgment of paternity, and the acknowledgment has become final, upon submission of documentary evidence of such facts to the Department of Health, the Department must issue a new birth record. The new birth record must have the same overall appearance as that which would have issued if the parents had married before the child's birth. Once the new birth record is issued, the original ceases to be a public record.


Establishing Ohio Paternity (http://www.daytondivorcehelp.com/establishing_paternity_ohio.php)

Thank you Judy for being honest not harsh and you are right I would have to help my son for at least until he becomes a adult and has more rights but that is my job and responsibility as a parent. But as far a public assistance the child would not be on that in our home we not qualify for any such services. About the only thing that might qualify my son for anything might be wic but that is a women infant child program. We are a low middle working class just like most Americans. I know the child living with mom would be living off the system because the family was before all of this happened. We called the local Child Support division in our state who basically said because our son is a minor that if they sent it to the prosecuting attorney it would probably be a closed case since he barely sixteen. They said if he was closer to 18 that would be a different story. They said he is in a catch 22. We live in central Missouri and University of Columbia is less than a hour away. So that is worth a try but I know they are on Christmas break.There is no kidnapping charges at this time because she is mother and the child was in born in Ohio and she moved there before the birth. From what Child Support said we would have to have a court order to secure his rights or if their child support happened to step in. As of Yesterday late afternoon they don't have any case on my son is what they told me yesterday.My son told us late last night the mother called him and said he could come to her home and see child and that we the grandparents could too. My son told her he would not be able to come to Ohio without his parents so she said that was fine however when getting there that could be a different story. I don't put anything past them to try and do.I am waiting for a call from a attorney to set up a consultation visit that is something that I can afford at this present time and then go from there. After Christmas break I can see if the university could assist in the matter and what it would cost. After trying some of the suggestions posted here I think the consultation with the attorney is the next step. Not having experience with hiring attorney for anything I like to get informed as much as possible and learn as much as possible to save time and money with a attorney cause I know from others talking they are not cheap. Plus a couple that I have called about pricing I was a little shocked at the hourly rate. I not saying the attorneys don't earn that money or anything I was a little shocked.

Thank you Cal for the info. On birth certificates. I will see if I can research that a little more about Ohio Law before calling back the vital statistics dept. in Ohio.

Thanks Scott but there is no parental kidnapping charges to file because she moved before the birth and Ohio did not start the DNA testing there and there is no case opened there that is per phone conversation yesterday with them. We started the DNA testing in our state how it worked out from there I don't know that if our state sent her a letter asking for testing or what. There are no court orders or anything that I am aware of yet.

I am not saying YOU or your son will apply for benefits, will qualify for benefits. In fact, I'm not sure your son would/could get custody. That's up to a Judge to decide. If the mother (through her parents) applies I am pretty sure they WILL get assistance, and now we're back to the taxpayers.

I can only say this so many times - you can pay now... the hard way OR pay later... the even HARDER way when custody turns into a circus.

I have stepchildren and stepgrandchildren. I have no "natural" (how I hate that term!) children or grandchildren. If one of MY "steps" were in a dangerous situation I'd be getting a second job, selling my jewelry, going door to door asking friends and family for help, going to the local law school, going to legal aid, begging the Court - until I got legal representation. You HAVE to be more active than you are.

I've said this so many times that I'm bored reading it - and I wrote it!

Please - these matters get nasty. Children get hurt. Protect that Grandchild. On the other hand, if you don't believe they are dangerous or have no proof - or whatever - then just keep reacting.

Who told you there is no kidnapping? You have told us that some govt agency says he is the father. If she is hiding the child that could be considered kidnapping.

Remember, prosecutors hate these cases so will discourage you from pursuing it. As Judy said you need to be proactive.

Thank You Scott and Judy for input . Especially about getting more active hear you loud and clear. I will also further investigate the kidnapping issue. Waiting on a lawyer to contact me back on consultation visit setting up time . Left a message on the office voice mail with My name and phone number and brief description of issue at hand.