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View Full Version : Situations with love life.


Toinee
Dec 14, 2011, 07:40 PM
Okay. So I need some advise on this situation that's really bothering me. I like this one guy who really likes my best friend but also likes me. At first it was just me and him and things were pretty good. But when his ex who is my best friend stepped in the picture, he started to like her more. The only reason why he would come over was because of her and when ever he was here he would toy with me and my emotions. He didn't know that he was and he didn't know that it was hurting me. After that he got a girlfriend then ignored both of us. After three weeks in that relationship he dumped her then went after my best friend again, who also really likes him. I've told him countless times on how I feel but it seems futile. Any advise?

nicw1917
Dec 14, 2011, 09:44 PM
This person sounds very fickle with his emotions and selfish. He is not connecting the dots when it comes to his actions and their impact on others. Either that or he just does not care. If this were me, I would set some boundaries with him and let him know it is not OK to bounce back and forth between girls. I would make it clear that I will not tolerate being treated as if I had no worth. Basically, you need to understand that you are the only one who can hurt you. By letting him play with your emotions, you are accepting the abuse and when you get upset it is because you allowed it. Raise your expectations in a mate, respect yourself enough not to play these games and find someone who sees you for who you are and wants that in his life.

Toinee
Dec 15, 2011, 12:34 AM
Thank you and yes I did talk to him and told him that he was toying with my and my best friends emotions and told him its not right. Though he was ignorant towards his actions and not seeing the reactions. I'm sure he realized it by now. Though he is still after my best friend but I can't do anything about that. He did ask me to date his best friend who has a huge crush on me. But I don't feel the same for him. If I did agree to doing so I would be toying with his best friends emotions and later on putting him in the same boat as I. So I declined the favor he asked. I still get the feeling that he asked me to do so only to get me out of the way of my best friend even though I never was in the way in the first place. Again I thank you for your advise.

riooo
Dec 16, 2011, 07:42 PM
I would run as far as I can... you will never win this one.. nor will your friend.. he is playing both of you.. and you should have more respect for yourself.. your better than being in a mess like this.. if you get him.. it will be always a trust issue.. he probably thinks of you as a filler until another comes along.. love yourself first.. and then look for a good mate that enhances you, and is interested in you... it's always going to be one way with him.. if all the girls allow him to behave bad.. he's going to behave badly.. I know I lived this for 5 years.. and neither one of us won.. and you should never choose a guy your friend likes.. hands off!!

riooo
Dec 16, 2011, 07:46 PM
Guys like this make me sick!! In truth... do you want sloppy seconds.. have you no shame.. or love of yourself?? Is he the last man on earth?. please... please.. don't make mistakes like I have and when your fifty and alone... because of a sweet talking guy??

Fr_Chuck
Dec 16, 2011, 07:57 PM
Of course I would ask how old is he, it sounds more like 14 or 15 year old guys, esp since the girl seems to have allowed it for so long

Toinee
Dec 16, 2011, 09:08 PM
Well when it all started I didn't know my friend liked him still. I didn't even know she was his ex. When I met him I hadn't seen my friend in about a year. Then when she came in the picture everything fell apart. But It's all Irrelevant now. I already decided he was a lost cause and all I'm doing now is sitting back and watching the show. I warned my friend that all he is going to is hurt her. But I guess she sort of asked for it. Like nicw1917 said. The only person who can hurt you is yourself. So the most I can do is sit back and watch the show and once she falls I'll be there to help her back up and say "I told you so."

Toinee
Dec 16, 2011, 09:11 PM
Oh by the way his 19