I'm 20 about to be 21 and this is my first real date... I've never had a relationship because all the guys I've ever talked to before played the same games, never formally asked me out, and tried to see if I would ever have sex with them. -_- In turn, this has relsulted in me not having a relationships or going out on a date for that matter. I'm nervous because this guy is older and has actually asked me out but I'm not exactly sure how to prepare for the date. Its hard for me not to think that all guys are the same and I'm trying not to think that way about this guy. I just feel like people may think I'm weird or strange because I've never been in a relationship before and that there might me something wrong with me. I know the reasoning why I haven't been in one from my personal stance and what I've been through and some guys these days give me enough reason not to want to be in one. I'm just looking for dating advice and advice in general!.

Be a woman of mystery. Don't talk about anything in your dating history, pro or con. It's no one's business anyway. And no guy wants to sit there while you go on and on about an ex or lack of one.

Treat this guy like he's the first date you've ever had and the most important person in your life right now.

Remember, no apologizing or muttering or historical details about your life, No one cares! No one wants to know!

Thanks so much! You're right and luckily those topics never came up so that was a great relief!. also I tried not to talk about myself too much.. it was hard not to when he wouldn't talk about himself or talk much at all... so it got awkward at time... but I just remember a long time ago my dad telling me people like to talk about themselves so just ask questions and be interested... and I definitely don't like to talk about myself and he was the one that asked a good amount of questions... so I felt like I talked too much... but at the end of the date he claims to have had a nice time... so I'm guessing it went well...

Next time you go out with him and he doesn't talk, tell him (with a twinkle in your eye), "Okay. You leave me no choice. I'm now going to pin you to the wall and ask Twenty Questions, so brace yourself." Then proceed to ask stuff like:

"Do you have any pets?"
"What are their names?"
"What's your favorite meal?"
"What's your favorite kind of music?"
"How do you feel about country or hip hop music?"
"Do you like to watch college football or prefer professional football?"
"What was your first car?"
etc.

Do you see where I'm going here? Hopefully, you won't get very far down the list before you two end up in a rousing discussion of memorable holiday meals or favorite kinds of pizza or unusual pet names.

I hope you don't mind me asking another advice question... this may be lengthy so I don't apologize..

So we went on a second date yesterday and everything went really good... I honestly didn't expect that we would spend the entire day together because when he initially asked to come down to see me he said it would be around 3/4... I figured he had made later plans with someone else but we hung out all day, and I didn't get back to my place until 3 in the morning... So today we were talking on the phone for a good while and when we got off we texted for a little bit and he texted saying this: I don't mean to put you on the spot but what's your vibe with me... do you feel like this could go somewhere, like with you and me?. it was late when I finally saw it and I knew he would be sleep because he has to work in the morning but I answered back saying that it was OK and to give me a chance to answer him... Im stuck with how to reply... like I really wasn't expecting to have to answer a question like this so soon... part of me feels like it was asked too soon... I really don't know if it would really go anywhere because I do like him and I'm still figuring out how I feel but I don't know what it is that he's looking for... plus I know it won't go very far if he's expecting there to be sex in the near future... I'm conflicted with telling him I'm a still virgin only for the fact I know it's too early to say something and that all guys run hearing that or finding out, I'm already expecting him to run... so I'm at a loss with how to answer his question and what to do?.

I do* apologize... also I appreciate your advice... it has helped!

Let him know you're enjoying the time you're spending together, and you'd like to continue dating to see where the two of you are headed.

DO NOT tell him you're a virgin. A decent bloke will not "go running", but it's not a topic for so early on anyway!

X Dani

I agree with Dani. Avoid virgin conversations -- too early. And he might be one too. (And I thought virgins were highly prized by guys.)

Thanks guys!. yeah I'm going to avoid that as long as I can... I rather wait until he feels the need to ask or I'm put in a position to where I would have to tell them... but I don't really think that he is... I know I shouldn't assume that but he's 27 and I just get the feeling he isn't... @ Wondergirl being a virgin nowadays is like having the plague or some disease because very rarely do guys want to have to work at a relationship to just have sex or wait until marriage when they know they could go somewhere else and not have to work as hard or not have to work at it at all...