descendead_rose
Nov 27, 2011, 01:49 PM
I am really envious of my best friend. She is incredibly beautiful, tall and skinny, popular, and most acknowledged amongst my friends. I've even told her I was jealous of her. It helped a little, but it still hurts being around her. I've tried giving her gifts and wishing for her happiness. But then it just comes back to how much I hate how I look, how I act, my future plans, etc. I'm always asking myself "why do I care?" I'd do anything for my friend, but I feel as if I am not worthy of presence or I find myself competing for her attention. This isn't who I am but I find myself acting this way. I know I'm better than this, but when she's around I'm low and pathetic. She's always getting compliments on her beauty. She knows she's pretty, and that what I hate the most. I love her, but I can't help hating her (this is a result of my envy, I try to keep it in). What should I do? Should I stay away from her despite the fact my friends are her friends?