Hi, I really need some help. Me and my boyfriend have recently got back together after him breaking up with me for 6 months. We were together for 3 years and have an 18 month old son. He broke up with me because he wanted 'freedom' and I was too controlling. And it pissed him off when I asked him to help around the house.

When we we're together he never made any effort to make me feel special, and always said 'he wasn't that sort of person'. I wanted him back really badly even though he treated me horribly during the break up. He stopped seeing our son as much, winged when he had him, slept with girls and got into fights.

He suffers from depression and had several breakdowns when he came over to see our son telling me he hated me, and I'd ruined his life etc. He never apologized and I got myself into some right states, but the next time I'd see him he would act as if nothing ever happened. He was only nice to me when he needed to borrow money etc. I'm the kind of person that will bend over backwards to help someone. When he wanted to sleep with me I would sleep with him (I know I'm a mug but love makes you do funny things).

After 6 months of trying to accept the breakup, I found an old phone with old lovely messages on from when we first started dating. I got really upset and told him that I wanted him back. After a few days he text me saying he wanted to talk, so he came round and said 'I'm willing to give things another go, but there has to be some ground rules'. I felt so confused but agreed to this. The ground rules were that he didn't want to be tied down and he still wanted to have freedom and contact with the girl that he'd been seeing the time we'd been finished as she was a 'good mate'.

He told me that if I messed up this time, then that would be it. I'm so confused at what to do because he is the father of my child and I do love him but I feel like he's taking me for a mug and its killing me to watch him sit in front of me, and text the girl he's been sleeping with for the past 6 months.

Whenever I text him nice messages, I either get a short blunt reply or no reply at all. Just before we got back together his dad threw him out because he'd been fighting 4 weekends in a row when he'd been out and I don't know if he's just back with me as he has no where to stay, he's sworn to me that he wants to give things a go with me because its what he wants but I don't understand why he is putting zero effort in when I'm doing everything I can to make things right. I'm the most genuine honest person and I love to make people happy.

I just need some advice on what to do.. why is he acting as if he doesn't want to be with me when he was the one who decided to give it another go. Does he want me or what? Please please help me! Xx

Harshness Warning


Stop being played for a mug, and taken advantage of by a loser, who happens to be a sperm donor.

When he laid his rules, you should have laid out yours, that simple. Do what his daddy did, and boot this boob from your life and get support for your child.

You practically asked him to kick your butt, and allowed him to decide how many times. Nobody should put up with this kind of abuse, especially not a nice person as yourself.

I think you should leave him alone. Let him be there for the baby but that's it. Your letting him minipulate you and you do not need that. Stop giving him money and sex cut him off from that, if he doesn't like it OH WELL tell him good riddens. If he can not support himself how is he going to support you and your child?

I agree with everything that has been posted here. Get him out of your life. He can't have his cake and eat it too. It's either you or her. I don't think he's capable of making that decision. It's really nice to help people but sometimes people can take advantage of your kindness. Start thinking of the needs of that beautiful child of yours and yourself. He doesn't deserve you honey. He's a looser and you can do so much better!

You are always going to have love for him he's the father of your child but you deserve somebody that will love you back and he doesn't because you don't do that to somebody you love. Things will not get better and you don't want to raise your child in an unhealthy relationship like that move on you will be much happier if you do. May not seem like it to you now but you will don't let him do this to you your better than that