Rawrflee
Nov 21, 2011, 05:21 PM
Hi guys,
So, I'm in a 2 year relationship and after an argument my girlfriend arrives over, sits down and takes a deep breath and says "I want to break up".
It completely takes me of guard. I remain silent, focus my thoughts and calmly try to probe out the reasons.
The reasons I get are, the relationship is too hard and should not be this hard. I disagree and say all relationships are hard, we been together 2 years we have to work at it for it to last.
We discuss breaking up for a while and the reasons, she is crying continuously. I am not. No, I'm not heartless I'm still shocked and I think she may be jumping the gun a bit.
After some talking I tell her I don't want to break up, I believe we can work at our relationship and build it up again. She is hesitant and says it's too hard.
More time passes and I ask her to explain her feeling about various things. Three things stuck out.
1. I love you but it's not enough.
2. I hate the way you think sometimes.
3. I love you but I'm not in love with you.
So I ask for explanations. I ask her if I'm a bad boyfriend? She says no. I ask her if I've wronged her some way? She says no, I'm really nice most of the time but in arguments I hurt her. I ask her am I supportive? She says I'm very supportive. I ask her am I not loving enough? She says I'm loving but could be a bit more affectionate. Again, I ask her if I'm a bad boyfriend, she says no I'm really not and I'm a lovely person.
So naturally I'm confused and once again ask her why are we breaking up? She says she doesn't know. She was certain earlier and yesterday but now that she's talking to me she doesn't know. And the fact I'm being so nice about it isn't helping. She wished I just got mad and kicked her out.
Then she announces she feels really guilty for dropping this on me suddenly. I hug her and tell her it's fine she is only doing what she feels right. Then she says she feels really bad for making me sad and I calmly sit her down and tell her, if her being with me is making her miserable and if she was to stay with me and be sad that would make me far more unhappy.
Then she decides she wants a break, a one month break. I say no. Personally I don't believe in them, it's just an excuse to see if the grass is greener Over there and if not come back. However she does want the break so I agree to a 2 week break with the option of her extending it if needed after the 2 weeks. We talk some more and then she decides maybe she only needs 1 week. I encourage the original 2 week plan but if she has decided after 1 she can let me know. I'll follow her lead completely.
I made her some food and let her eat it (she was still very shook up) as I packed her things. After I had packed them she walked in and kissed me, not a peck, full on romantic Tongue kiss and then I took her to her car as she held my hand.
So, I'm confused. We are on this 2 week break thing. But why the kiss and hand holding just before she left? Is that normal? It seriously messed with my head anyway.
Thank you all for reading and I very much appreciate any replies. Thank you!
So, I'm in a 2 year relationship and after an argument my girlfriend arrives over, sits down and takes a deep breath and says "I want to break up".
It completely takes me of guard. I remain silent, focus my thoughts and calmly try to probe out the reasons.
The reasons I get are, the relationship is too hard and should not be this hard. I disagree and say all relationships are hard, we been together 2 years we have to work at it for it to last.
We discuss breaking up for a while and the reasons, she is crying continuously. I am not. No, I'm not heartless I'm still shocked and I think she may be jumping the gun a bit.
After some talking I tell her I don't want to break up, I believe we can work at our relationship and build it up again. She is hesitant and says it's too hard.
More time passes and I ask her to explain her feeling about various things. Three things stuck out.
1. I love you but it's not enough.
2. I hate the way you think sometimes.
3. I love you but I'm not in love with you.
So I ask for explanations. I ask her if I'm a bad boyfriend? She says no. I ask her if I've wronged her some way? She says no, I'm really nice most of the time but in arguments I hurt her. I ask her am I supportive? She says I'm very supportive. I ask her am I not loving enough? She says I'm loving but could be a bit more affectionate. Again, I ask her if I'm a bad boyfriend, she says no I'm really not and I'm a lovely person.
So naturally I'm confused and once again ask her why are we breaking up? She says she doesn't know. She was certain earlier and yesterday but now that she's talking to me she doesn't know. And the fact I'm being so nice about it isn't helping. She wished I just got mad and kicked her out.
Then she announces she feels really guilty for dropping this on me suddenly. I hug her and tell her it's fine she is only doing what she feels right. Then she says she feels really bad for making me sad and I calmly sit her down and tell her, if her being with me is making her miserable and if she was to stay with me and be sad that would make me far more unhappy.
Then she decides she wants a break, a one month break. I say no. Personally I don't believe in them, it's just an excuse to see if the grass is greener Over there and if not come back. However she does want the break so I agree to a 2 week break with the option of her extending it if needed after the 2 weeks. We talk some more and then she decides maybe she only needs 1 week. I encourage the original 2 week plan but if she has decided after 1 she can let me know. I'll follow her lead completely.
I made her some food and let her eat it (she was still very shook up) as I packed her things. After I had packed them she walked in and kissed me, not a peck, full on romantic Tongue kiss and then I took her to her car as she held my hand.
So, I'm confused. We are on this 2 week break thing. But why the kiss and hand holding just before she left? Is that normal? It seriously messed with my head anyway.
Thank you all for reading and I very much appreciate any replies. Thank you!