Log in

View Full Version : I'm really into her / She pretends she is not / She's sending mixed signals!


BHDown
Nov 17, 2011, 06:12 AM
Hi guys,

So, here how the deal is:

-Met her again, after many many years.
-She ain't that pretty as she was, but still like her a lot.
-We are seeing each other, one way or another the last 5 months.
-She broke up a guy early this year, she says she loved him.
-She looks insecure and really afraid to commit with someone.
-I wanted to be honest, and confessed my feelings to her.
-We had some dates alone, but I didn't grab the chance.
-She thinks I'm a player.
-She finds me too good to be true (in my opinion).
-She has so much of emotional baggage.
-She is a drama queen.
-She prefers not to say feelings, she wants actions.
-She looks like someone that plays the rules (of dating) by the book.
-She is playing hard to get.
-She is trying a lot to keep her body language under the radar.
-I gave her lot of signals for my interest.
-When we are out with friends she wants to have a long time, rather that short.
-Sometimes, she looks desperate, but trying so hard to keep it secret. (Although is visible)
-She is trying so much not to look needy.
-She could be open and honest with me, but she is afraid to say even a single honest word.
-Sometimes she is sending mixed signals, to make me confused, but doesn't touch me.
-At first, her level interest was high, but now seems that is dropped down.
-My interest level is still high.
-Looks like she needs so much time, but I'm afraid I can't deal with it anymore.
-She wants to keep me in touch with her, in case she feel safe someday to hit on me.
-I already told her, there isn't another woman in my life.
-Once she told me: "You are the best thing happened in my life".
-I hate games. She tested me many many times.
-Sometimes, is acting to have forgotten serious words she said to me.
-She loves reading love books and drama movies stuff.

Hope these facts help you make an idea.
I'm really into her, although she dropped me RED FLAGS to move on.
What you think, is she interested or just using me?

JudyKayTee
Nov 17, 2011, 07:04 AM
The fact that you keep a detailed list is troubling to me - about you. ("She ain't that pretty")

I think you are both playing each other and this is not a healthy relationship.

Fr_Chuck
Nov 17, 2011, 07:08 AM
Yes, I agree, you are trying to see way too much into this. You don't believe what she says, but think she means other things.

There is no "rule book of dating" unless you wrote one I have not seen. There is rules based on culture, age and often religious beliefs, but those rules are bendable and change by each persons position and beliefs.

Sounds like you to don't "talk" and don't really have any serious level of relationship. I think you need to stop playing your games if you are serious and be serious. You can not make her do anything.

BHDown
Nov 17, 2011, 09:01 AM
@ Judy:
Is just a sum up list, so you guys can make a clear opinion. I didn't want to write down the whole story,
And get your tired. For my part, I can really say I didn't play any games. The only thing I did was to be
Unable just a few times, but so far I'm so honest and clear for my thinkings.
*As about, "she ain't that pretty", is because she has a major health issue for the last 4 years.

@Fr_Chuck
Yes, I believe cause actions do mean a lot more that sayings, aren't they?
As about rule book, off course there is, and this girl seems to be following it in detail.
I mean, although she has nothing to do, she seems unavailable, she cancels things last minute, etc.
Is like she follows a list "how a woman can be hard to get" so the attraction gets up.
But in the end the boy gets tired and gives up the chasing.

I say again, I don't play games, for my age being clear and honest is the best move I can make.
About, playing games, probably you mean her side cause she is the one to play the mouse and the cat chase.

The fact is, that if not me, probably won't be any other man for her (because of her health).

JudyKayTee
Nov 17, 2011, 09:22 AM
@ Judy:
*As about, "she ain't that pretty", is because she has a major health issue for the last 4 years. ... The fact is, that if not me, probably won't be any other man for her (because of her health).


So you are dating her out of pity or as some sort of community service because of her health?

I'd walk away. Neither one of you needs this relationship.

BHDown
Nov 17, 2011, 09:35 AM
@ Judy:

No, because I do really care and love her.

So, now I want to see how can I make this situation to flow better, we both want it.
I want it much more and this is the thing to unbalanced this "relationship".

JudyKayTee
Nov 17, 2011, 09:48 AM
As long as you feel there will be no other man for her after you (because of her health) you are in an unbalanced relationship. You should be with each other because you love each other, not because there are no other choices.

I seem to have a lot of ego - or am I misreading what you've posted?

BHDown
Nov 17, 2011, 10:09 AM
@ Judy

Yes again Judy, speaking of myself I want to be a part of this because of my feelings, not because
Of her "no choices". Just writing down clues that you should know, so you give me better help.

For me, there can be many other choices, but the fact I'm still "here" I believe that shows my pure
Interest. One way or another she gave signs that she is willing to have a proper relationship with me.
(not now, but slow and steady).

Her ex, throw her away because of her health, so I believe she won't take any more hurt to her feelings
Again from a guy. That's the reason she is so close to her self and so insecure.

If you say ego for myself, it could be, but again I feel true interest coming from my heart.