View Full Version : 22 year son too old for discipline
quion22
Nov 16, 2011, 09:25 PM
I am 22 years old I live with my parents and a while back when my father was and still is out of town I wrote a comment on Facebook saying HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN A VIBE FROM SOMEONE AND YOU DNT KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO THEM WELL That's HOW IM FEELING RIGHT NOW WHEN MONEY IS INVOLVED PPL CHANGE I NEED TO SURROUND MYSELF WITH MORE POSITIVE PPL ,AND I WISH PEOPL WOULD JUST ACCEPT THAT IM ROWN IT IS WHAT IT IS... so I wrote this message on Facebook and it was all because I was mad at my mom one day when she had me cooking hamburger and I said OK I'm finished cooking all the hamburgers and she responded... yeah and your going to buy some more too and in my head I'm tthinking uh OK I know I have to help out but why are you acting like this towards me so I got pissed and wrote the Facebook message and now she is mad at me because my aunt saw it and told her and she told my dad and now its like a big deal I did speak with my dad and apoligized over the phone and apoligized to my mother and we embraced each other but I heard that she said to my aunt oh he thinks its over when his father get back home he has something for him all right , now in my mind I'm thinking oh great what now I'm acting like I don't have a clue what's going on like everything is normal but my mother doesent know I know what do I do ? When my father gets back it could get ugly ,I'm not going to fight over a Facebook message ito me it was venting my feelings I feel bad for saying it on a public website and all but for me to possibly get beat up or yelled at is obsurd and I'm 22 so advice pleasee...
Wondergirl
Nov 16, 2011, 09:35 PM
Why are you still living at home? Do you pay rent, do chores, help with bills and buy groceries?
quion22
Nov 16, 2011, 09:46 PM
Yes I pay 200 dollars every two weeks and they pay for groceries through that and I contribute gas money for them driving me to work since I don't have a car yet
Wondergirl
Nov 16, 2011, 09:47 PM
So why are you still at home and not in your own place or sharing an apartment?
Are you in the U.S. Rural? village? City?
quion22
Nov 16, 2011, 09:53 PM
Well we just moved but I heard that when my dad gets back I'm going to have to find my own way to work he says since I'm quote in the Facebook message grown but I'm like it wasn't even that big of a deal and I also heard that I'm getting my own apartment when he comes back but that might be in a negative way like get out of my house!! Type way since your grown get out and find your own way to work and get your own place I'm worried and in the car my mother and I find ourselves not talking as much I try to talk but you can tell its awkward though
Wondergirl
Nov 16, 2011, 09:57 PM
It does seem like you have bitten the hand that feeds you. Do you have resources, savings, etc. to get an apartment if he kicks you out?
DoulaLC
Nov 17, 2011, 05:06 AM
I'm not sure why your aunt and mother assumed the message was about you're being mad at your mother. Personally, I think they are making a problem out of a minor comment, that actually is very truthful. People do change when money is involved, and you should surround yourself with positive people.
That you apologized to both of them, and it does appear that you help out quite a bit, including paying a decent rent, should be the end of it. It would be wrong for you to be beat up for any reason.
Have there been more conflicts between you and your parents besides the hamburger situation? This seems to be an over-the-top reaction to what you describe. Do you and your parents normally get along or has there been ongoing problems?
As Wondergirl said, do what you can to start preparing to find your own place or to share one with a friend.
Fr_Chuck
Nov 17, 2011, 07:34 AM
No you are not too old to "discipline" there is no too old if you are living at home. And guess what 400 a month is not much at all, does not come close to paying the actual cost of you staying at home.
Sorry but you are still a child at home if you are living at home. If you don't want to be yelled at, or have rights at home taken away, time to move out on your own.
JudyKayTee
Nov 17, 2011, 08:28 AM
At 22, dependent on your parents, it's their house, their rules. I question why comments about cooking hamburgers (or whatever) needed to be posted on a public forum.
However - if you don't like the rules, find your own place and move out. You can then do whatever you want, whenever you want to do it.
If I were your parents I'd be upset, too. You took a private small matter to a public forum and blew it up out of proportion. It would appear that you still need discipline, perhaps self discipline.
Fr_Chuck
Nov 17, 2011, 08:33 AM
Yes and at 22 you should be cooking meals for the entire family, so why were you angry about having to cook
Jake2008
Nov 18, 2011, 07:20 PM
This has nothing to do about the Facebook comment.
It has more likely to do with the Facebook comment that broke the camel's back.
Even if your parents have not had a big sitdown talk with you, and told you that it is time for you to move on, and move out, I would consider that the message.