These days.. all guys seem to want is to degrade a female or get her into bed... I can't meet a guy to date--ive been searching 14 years now-- way too long. I'm a very beautiful woman and get attention for being really pretty... however mostly negative weird attention... instead of guys 'hiring me' wanting to 'date me' etc... they just reject me.. or the ones who don't are trying to get into bed with me. I find it so odd--how any male can get 10 hot females chasing him literally... but a hot woman like me can't get one date or a boyfriend... except strange men trying to mess with me or ruin my life. I'm not sure what to do really... and most people you can't trust the guys are crazy liars or jerks... however I find it odd that a confident beautiful sweet woman can't meet a guy... it has really driven me to a point of freaking out.. how can someone who looks like a victoria's secret model, really hot pretty.. nice and cool be unable to find ANY guy on this planet to date? But all those 'guys' out there literally can meet women in a heartbeat... I've dated, gone out, done this or that... nothing works... and most guys I meet are mean to me or treat me badly... so how do you get a boyfriend in this society seriously if you're a pretty woman who is nice who men seem to dislike or treat badly... and let's say that most people... or anyone treat me oddly because of how I look--(because I'm beautiful)... I get stared at then treated like a freak or insulted or put down... men perceive me as a threat rather than a hot babe or something... and always reject me... or if they don't reject me they're thinking... Yes yes! Or are excited but of course they bail because they can't seem to handle being around me... also most people are wanting to con or really lie to someone etc... or are there to try to lie deceive or manipulate... I can't believe I'm 33 and still single and a virgin... and I want sex? I want a boyfriend more than anyhting but I still can't get one and I'm 33 now? I've also read many posts from other women... whoa re in their 30's.. very attractive... same thing... they can't meet a guy or some haven't had boyfriends.. so are guys just not into a certain type of down to earth nice pretty girl tehse days? I don't get it... I'm also loyal monogamous... smart open minded spiritual cool not judgmental... and I look like a VS model... but no guy wants to date me or everyone is too scared intimidated and has to put me down and this is whacked society where its impossible to meet normal people anymore anyway? Do only douche guys go for hot women and everyone else runs away in fear? I just don't get it...

Its also so weird how anyone else can get a bf/gf in a heartbeat... its life it happens for them... for me.. that just doesn't happen... even if I try to make it happen it won't.. also being so 'beautiful' and also down to earth you'd think SOME guy would ask me out or want to go out with me? I don't dress up... I really sometimes dress not good or so average... yet again no guy has really been interested in me... even sexual encounters I've had with males have been horrible so I stopped trying... men rejecting me sexually and who knows what... it seems every guy is so intimidated by me-- every single one except these weirdo geek types... who are really geeky and not my type... literally with the nasaly voice.. only those guys seem to be interested in me and have the guts to ask me out but decen tlooking guys hate me and reject me right away... I don't see heidi klum having a problem getting a date or any attractive woman out there... however of course with me it just won't happen...

If you're really that pretty, then the nice guys are probably too shy to come up to you. Where do you go to meet people? Maybe it's the places that you meet people that attracts the same type of guys. Maybe you should go to different places to meet people.

In your case, it may be best to make some new friends and to see if your friends can introduce you to other people. That way, you have some sort of screening process instead of only meeting strangers.

Don't rate looks too highly. Most men (post-puberty, anyway) would rather go for the quiet woman in the corner reading a book and sipping a wine, than the loud bouncy busty blonde drunk in the middle of the room.

I agree with I wish. You should branch out what you're looking for and where you're looking. Decent men won't always go for the prettiest, as 1 - Inner beauty and personality is much more important, and 2 - If you take so much pride in your looks, you may eventually 'go off' a boyfriend if you no longer find him attractive. No committed man would want that fear or paranoia.

X Dani

True dani... but the weird thing is... people call me 'quiet' and label me that way-- oh she's so QUIET.. oh you seem so 'RESERVED"... im not the loud busty blonde.. I'm dark haired petite exotic looking... I also don't take pride in my looks... like I said I dress average and am down to earth... I just happen to be 'pretty'... and I have a great personality and tons of inner beauty---its a sad joke that only ugly women have good personalities and pretty women don't... it's bizarre... btu being 'hot and beautiful' I can't get any guy at all and its weird...

This is a weird question... but to me it makes no sense and is just so odd. I'm an average female... I'm very pretty... there aer lots of pretty women in the world.. I see them sometimes... even ones who people stare at sometimes... however... ni my case--everyone just picks on me... anywhere I go anything I do.. I get picked on... it makes no sense-- do people pick on pamela anderson.. katie holmes.. whoever... but they pick on me... Im beautiful and not anymore attractive than other pretty girls or celebrities... however I just get mistreated by people for no reason... I have no friends... I didn't even go to a party in college-- never got invited anywhere-- people literally shun me... my life is being persecuted and abused by people... I'm not paranoid exaggerating lying... this is how I get treated... and this is my life... its really hard-- women will not be my friend because I'm beautiful and they hate me with a passion.. however, men hate me too--im far from stuck up... I'm the total opposite... I'm caring loving.. friendly... I love to heal and help people... but people will not be around me because I'm beautiful... they seem to hate my presence... men are so intimidated and turned on by me they can't be around me because they're too turned on and just reject insult and abuse me...

I don't have a life.. I don't go on vacations I've never had a boyfriend.. I have no friends... anything I do I get mistreated or screwed over in.. my last job I was the top sales rep-- never got promoted and a bunch of sales screwed me over and had me fired... jealousy and who knows what... men don't treat me like a 'hot woman' they treat me like a freak put me down and insult me... that's like men putting angeline jolie down and rejecting her-- this is how people treat me... I've been told I look like.. angelina jolie, katie holmes, catherine zeta jones.. tiffany amber thiessen... let's say I look like none of these people but I am just beautiful and normal and nice... and these women don't have problems finding men... or making friends.. (granted they're celebs but I mean even other women like them)... why do people idolize kim kardashian but despise me? (im not saying I'm a celebrity but lookswise I'm sayign I'm on the level of these people and have stand out prettiness and yet everyone hates me for it but idolizes other people)... I'll say I kind of look like vivien leigh sort of? That kind of classic beauty... I'm not focused on my looks---but I'm saying it's the reason people mistreat me and no one will accept me at all? Literally---EVERYONE hates me and is jealous of me... I'm so used to it I don't know what to do anymore... anytime I join something.. I'm the center of attention, but ignored.. and people aer trying to do something to screw me over... or mistreat me... I don't know why they give other women a chance and do this to me yet I'm not stuck up... personality wise I'm more like... a hippie type who is carefree and laid back... I'm extremely laid back and just nice to anyone... I love to make friends... but I can't because women literally just hate me... and they stay far away from me and men just want to abuse or use me or reject me too... I live life in isolation and can't even manage to get a boyfriend no matter how hard I try I can't meet anyone... its a weird reality... even other women who have issues or find it hard to meet other women or guys are married or something but I can't get a husband and I'm a gorgeous woman... and nice and kind and caring... and considerate... I only somehow meet crazy gay men who pretend to be straight to use me to mentally torture... its weird... I'm used by people as an object to abuse and most people just abuse or pick on me... anywhere I go... I don't know what to do... this is my life but I look at others having fun and getting these great things and I think-- its not right ? Why is this happening ?

I'm kind of like... the 'stuck up hot girl' in the '90's rap dr dre videos" who walks in and all the people just start throwing stuff at her or dumping water on her-- this is how people treat me! But its so weird because I'm not stuck up at all and I'm very cool and friendly and go out of my way to be nice or try to be nice to people-- even if I think they're uncomfortable in my presence I try to be nice or funny... I don't dress up... I wear jeans/shirt... people don't hate gwen stefani.. she's beautiful? But they hate me... they despise me... adn I also look like a really nice girl too and it makes no sense why everyone hates me yet I'm nice and sweet--it makes no sense and isn't fair... no one is jealous of other hot women but they are jealous of me and I'm like one of the nicest people... I don't get it---it baffles me... even if I open up am friendly... nothing--people just run... or treat me oddly or mostly are abusive to me or pick on me... why do people do this? To me in particular?

Oh yeah and screw kim kardashian... she is a stuck up greedy spoiled b*tch who has so much money and only cares abuot being fake and has no talent... people idolize mean or stupid or stuck up pretty women but just get off on puttingf me down.. it makes no sense-- men are terrified of me-- literally men run away from me... I don't get it?? To me its all shocking... weird... strange... alyssa milano can get a boyfriend? Any pretty girl can.. but me? I swear in my life there aer at least two gay men... every yr texting me messing with my head trying to manipulate and destroy me... that's it?? That's all I get in life.. I can't meet a guy get a boyfriend I'm a virgin... I look like the kind of girl you think people would love... and want to be around... instead I get rejected shunned... its shocking then people are praising this rude crazy weirdo who is mean and strange... and putting me down... why do people want to shun a nice girl just because she's beautiful but not the stuck up beautiful women-- they love the stuck up hot women and cater to them... in 33 years I can't manage to egt ONE boyfriend but I've been told bysome people I'm the most beautiful woman they've ever seen.. huh??

Oh I wish, I wish... I can't make any friends.. women won't be around me same reason because I'm pretty? I don't get it but they won't... so I'm screwed... I can't make friend and no one will introduce me to anyone...
Its like I'm trapped in this sad situation of total isolation... and it won't change because guys also won't be around me because I'm beautiful and they're scared... it sucks and makes no sense...

I think I see the problem. You've got to stop thinking about yourself and how you feel, and get inside the other person's skin in order to relate to him (or her).

"How can I make that person smile?"

"What can I say to help that person have a good day?"

"I wonder if that person has a dog or cat as a pet. I'm going to ask and listen to what is said."

Also... my life is this sad irony... im this person who if anyone was in my situation I'd go out of my way to be wth them hang out with them so that they aren't suffering... yet everyone knows I'm totally alone and seems to want me to be alone... its so sick and unfair... im the compassionate caring person living a life of beign persecuted by people... people treat me lesser than human... like a sub human.. as if I don't deserve my own opinion rights anything... ive suffered horribly... and I keep just getting abused... and can't get a boyfriend relationship sex nothing... its weird... my life is a horrible paradox... the only ones who like me are animals and my cats and animals seem to sense all the crap I've been thruogh and all react to me the same way... its strange... but animals love me and humans hate me...

How did you do in school? -- with grades and homework, not with people.

Well that's what I do wondergirl I'm the friendly one... and id ont think that that's what a person has to do... work hard at trying to make someone else smile... it makes no sense why I have to go out of my way to be nice to people who are mean to me... and I don't think about myself or how I feel... im worried about how that person is going to treat me... which usually ends up bad regardless... I can't make 'small talk' with people because they dislike me... and its like all a big façade... they still look at me like.. who the fk do you think you are.. type attitude... this society is just really screwed up with lots of messed up people and jealosu too and there's nothing I'm doing... I can't control how people like or dislike or treat me... its just unfortunate

Have you ever been to a counselor?

Instead of worrying about how others treat you. Just worry about how you treat others. It's always harder to be the nice person. It's easy to give up on another person.

Someone once told me that everyone is nice deep down inside. Even if they have that mean exterior, you just need to learn how to get closer to them so that you see their softer side. But you're not going to do it by fighting fire with fire.

Focus on being a nice person all the time, and trust me, someone will take notice. But if you give up on being nice, people will definitely notice that too.

Ugh OK for me... this is ludicrous... but this is all I experience. I'm a very beautiful woman-- think ezlibeth taylor, vivien leigh... I have that kind of classic beauty dark hair.. exotic looks... I'm nice and cool.. however, the males of today, ONLY want to degrade and use me to mentally torture--my life is proof of it. I've never had a boyfriend.. and every guy I meet, literally does horrible things to me to mess with my head... I'm a virgin.. no boyfriend, and I've never even been on a trip with a guy anywhere... or guys don't take me places or do things with me, or give me money- however they will do everything with other women and even get off on bragging to me about what they're doing with other women. This is so mean cruel and sick to me... but its all I experience? I need help... for this is just crazy to me and so not fair...


For instance... my 'ex' I call him an 'ex' yet he was never a boyfriend-- just a sick old guy... who mentally tortured me for fun... he refused sex with me and sexually tormented me in that way... the way he treated me was horror and cruel... and he knew I wanted a relationship and had never had a BF before or sex... he NEVER gave it to me-- he used all relationship aspects as bait to manipulate me and lure me and give me NOTHING... then manipulate and claim he was giving me everything and HE was gettnig nothing. He was a classic narcissist... sociopath etc... however even this abuse was RARE---no sex ever? Still we are 'friends' and chat and still he has NEVER had sex with me just ORAL sex in one position and he only did that to use as bait to try to manipulate me into claiming that he gives me so much and he gets nothing. Forme this was madness... I am such a beautiful hot sexy woman and this is how I got treated? He never took me anywhere or did anything with me-- other girls he used to take on trips, go fun places... with me he used me to torture on the side... it was worse than hell and a nightmare and I suffered horribly... he was a photographer and yes he's been with lots of beautiful women... so a beautiful woman was not "rare" or odd to him... however he used ME the one beautiful woman to torture so extremely... why? This is what men do to me-- REFUSE sex with me or USE me like a PROSTITUTE or give me NOTHING while they are respceting and giving other women lots of things... then they rub it in my face.. I live life totally ALONE as no one will be around me because I'm 'beautiful' everyone just hates me and is jealous of me and wants to use or abuse me... what the heck do I do?I can't find ONE male who will date or be with me and everyone wants to give me nothing manipulate abuse and use me cruelly... my life is horror and I don't understand... why men do this to me-- I'm also really nice and sweet... and you'd think any guy would dream of being with a girl like me... yet... I just get abused and mentally screwed with... I have 100's more stories but I can only list recent ones and ones that are prominent to me... it shocked me that as such a beautiful woman... this sick man refused sex with me and TO THIS DAY STILL DOES...
He says... "who'd want to F*** YOU? LOOK AT YOU?!" and he claims I'm the hottest woman he's ever seen and so beautiful... help what do I do? These men and all men will have sex with pamper ANY FEMALE however not me, a really beautiful kind sweet female who is a virgin and an amazing woman? This sick man/freak would take models/prostitutes on trips and pay them to have sex with them-- however... he claimed I was his GF and NEVER had sex with me and just mentally tortured me... it was and still is horror... how can you pay filthy diseased women for sex and refuse a virgin an innocent pure beautiful woman sex... how is this psosible... he was satan or the devil to me... and would even mock me and say "YOU"D Love TO BE RAPED YOU"D WANT MORE"... he said that to me because he refused sex with me and made me want it so bad... he said rape would be my fantasy... yet again he NEVER had it with me... he also refused to do sexual things to me in all sorts of positions... just refused... and would only do ONE bnoring thing to me while I wanted all kinds of sex... and he NEVER gave it to me... this is shocking as this weirdo seemed like a sex addict and was turned on by ANYTHING and ANYONE and seemed to want to f*** anyone that crossed his path... however degrading and rejecting a super beautiful woman was his game with me and it was a horror one at that... and baffling and confusing...

Second scenario: This one strange guy I met on the internet.. he seemed OK... we didn't talk for years then last yr he just called me out of the blue... I was in a bad situation and asked for his help... he offered some help BTU I didn't take it--b/c I didn't want to stay at his place for a few days... I got a creepy feeling about him however he's an engineer... one day months later out of the blue he texted me with some bizarre information and it was strange... he made some claim about being 'raped' by his ex gf's ex boyfriend and a guy... he didn't want to go to the cops to report it... again, I found it so odd... and fuodn this guy to be weird for texting me with that info-- I'm thinking... he never talks to me and only texts me with this scary information.. and he said he felt 'comfortable' telling me but couldn't tell anyone else... I didn't find it flattery but just disgusting and weird... it almost seems as if he was into it or there was something else going on and he didn't tell me the whole story---im not sure WHY he told me this... but again it was weird... and we went out a few more times to dinner and he would talk about it and he didn't seem disturbed at all that he was raped by males...

We would chat off and on then one day he said he had a 'favor' to ask me... he claimed that he had never had oral sex with a girl (despite having several gf's) and was wondering if I could teach him or he could practice on me-- again I was very offended... and thought... ok this guy is a weirdo... and what a lame pick up line... I found it odd again and he said he was serious and it was true... so I sort of declined and he said again he only felt comfortable asking me and not other women---which again I found disrespectful as he was treating me like a prostitute of some sorts... when I sort of said no because... he seemed annoyed such as he for some reason thought I'd say yes... then he said there were women at work who wanted to date him and he'd ask them... then he asked me if I wanted to go on a cruise and said a woman at work he went out with wasnt' sure if she could make it... I said sure maybe... then he asked again... if he could do that with me and I said no... that my ex would be upset and he was controlling and a freak... (later I told him I was offended)... he then said well, he's not sure if the woman at work can go on the cruise... so if she cudn't he'd tell me... while we'd chat I told him how males disrepected me and didn't give me anything or take me aynwhere... it was odd because after I rejected him... I'd text him and he'd say during the weekend "i went skydiving" or I did this... again.. he asked if I watned to go skydiving months prior but never invited me... so then it turned into him trying to gloat in my face what he was doing all the fun he was having... and with things he had asked if I liked but never asked me to go... he seemed to be doing this in response to me rejecting him for 'oral sex lessons' which I found horrendous... I did tell him later I was offended by it.. and it was offensive since males only try to use me not just for 'sex' but so degradingly... this psycho jerk even said that he needed someone to 'practice' on so he would be good with other wmoen because he's embarrassed to do with other girls... b/c he doesn't know how to-- this is so sick and strange to me... "hey can i use you as a practice doll for oral sex and give u nothing else"... then he began constnatly saying "cant talk I'm in miami" or here or there... knowing that I've never gone anywhere with a guy or taken a vacation and this is just another guy doing the same thing to me... it seems he WANTED to put me down in this way, of course...

While we were texting he also said that he had never treated me badly and seemed to want to imply that I didn't give him a chance or he had tried to get to know me... again while he was 'dating' this co worker and once I said can we talk on the phone and he said "not now, I'm taking that lady from work shopping"... he seemed to be lying of course... or also just trying to make me feel bad... he also claimed he had never had any sexual contact with this 'lady' but was doing all these fun things with her... it feels like a deeply twisted way of really trying to mess with me, which is what it is but again... why is this freak doing this to me? He's pretending to or going out with another woman... and rubbing it in my face after I refused to teach him 'oral sex'... (gross)? In such a creepy demand or request... and about the cruise... he never told me "well the lady decided to go on the cruise"... he just dropped it altogether but today after I texted him last night he replied with "i can't talk the whole weekend...we get no signal on the cruise"... wow... how mean and cruel of me to do... and yes it made me feel bad but is that all this sick jerk is trying to do? It may or may not be true that he's on a cruise... but he's trying hard to degrade me ridiculously and again.. why is he doing this? Because I refused to be a practice doll for him for oral sex? Or he's just evil... this guy seems like a huge submissive so the fact that he is trying to dominate me is VERY strange... in my life.. submissive MALES dominate me? They try to put me down ro treat me badly... I'm not sure why... again... men don't take me shopping or go places with me... they use me in the same way these two monsters are using me-- to mentally screw with... any clue on what guy #2 is doing to me.. and why men only degrade me in this crazy extreme way?

The 2nd guy is an engineer... also there is guy #3 who too is messing with me degrading me giving me nothing but promising me all sorts of things... we aren't datnig just friends but he's still messing with my head...
Guy #1... just promises me all sorts of things.. hoe he wants to take me out do this... but in reality, when he says that it means he's going to do it with someone else and make me think he wants to do it with me-- it's a sick game he plays... he says "want me to do this to you?? can i take you out and spend money on you"?? "wanna go on a triP"?? However... he will NEVER do it with me he will go and do it with someone else and just use me to degrade... this is all men do to me-- literally... DEGRADE ME CRUELLY... and there's nothing I can do about it... while they are giving every other woman that which they won't give me... and use me on the side to mock degrade and scerw with-- its horror and I'm not sure why they do this to me??

Wow what a huge chip on your shoulder girl!

You know the problem I see. For all your wired comments and disgust toward these individuals one massive factor remains.

YOU KEEP ENGAGING THEM!!

Yes these are bad people but you should have cut off all ties with them the second you thought something wasn't right
It's like me going down to the bad streets of a city
And start to hang out with all the low life's.

Then me go and say ohh that city is awful! There are only drug dealers there's


Sorry for what has happened. To you but you are part of the problem

Take control of your life
Share your life with decent people
Simple as that

And don't say ohh I can't find any they are all mean

There are 7 billion of us in this world don't be closed minded


They only do this. To you because you let them

Stand up girl say no delete me don't respond to them simple as that

Be aware that this thread was combined with others, and left pretty much UNEDITED

I'm not sure what happened but I posted that info in a different thread, and not sure how it got on here...

And truefaith... thats not true because its difficult for people if most or all of the people they continue meeting are screwing them over in this way.. I had no idea what the other guy was doing but it was subtle and confusing... and stop blaming a person who is being abused or mistreated... that's what's wrong with society today... so many outrageous angry rude people who just put people down... "STOP ENGAGING THESE PEOPLE"! Yeah once I find out I'm being used then I do stop but the process can take a while... and if everyone YOU KNEW was abusive to you... you would have a hard time dealing with it too... you lack understanding and maturity... so go take some lessons in how to treat people and stop blaming those who are going through difficult times or meeting jerks...

Good places to meet nice guys who are eligible:

- Church
- Library book discussion groups
- Library writers' group
- Park district classes
- While volunteering for a hospital, nursing home, library, school, animal shelter
- Community college or college classes


also no one allows people to treat them badly
Why do you think counselors are so busy? Clients learn about making boundaries that they never realized they could set so friends and relatives and enemies will not treat them badly.

they end up victmiizing me... or treating me this way
It sounds like you need to learn how to set boundaries if you feel like a victim. Have you ever consulted with a counselor about this?

These two people sound very much alike. I even found another post by her that was almost the same.

AMHD member sophia99 (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/sophia99.html)

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