Rhia1978
Nov 9, 2011, 10:37 PM
Desperately need insight! We've been together for 4 months out of which I was overseas for 2 months. I just got back a couple of weeks back. He kept in touch, waited and initiated the catch up once I got back. We spent a lovely evening together. We made plans to attend a housewarming the following Saturday and he told me he was moving to another city for a couple of weeks for work. He asked me if he could stay at my place for a few days before he left and I said yes. He told me on his emails and when we met that he missed me. Even before I left I said 'I will kind of miss you' to make light of what could have been a heavy topic. 'Kind of?' he asked and said 'I will surely miss you'. When we saw each other for the last time before I left he asked me again 'will you miss me?'. I've met his friends and flatmates and seen his place. He did this all by himself – I didn't even have to ask him. His friends and flatmates love me…and my friends adore him. Since the morning after that evening after I got back…I have not heard from him. It's been 2 weeks now.
Now he's been struggling for work for these 4 months and is completely broke. He is also worried about his visa. He is pretty frustrated with all of this.
I texted him once on the Sunday after we met, then on Monday and then on Tuesday. They weren't heavy texts. Just saying hi and wondering how he was. I rang him on Wednesday in case he didn't have credit. He didn't pick up. Am not fussed since we normally don't call each other. I texted him on Saturday to check about the housewarming. Nothing. I finally emailed him last Tuesday to let him know that I am not angry but concerned and that I care. I told him I am here if he needed to talk. Since quite a few people were telling me to visit his place, I finally did that last Friday. His flatmate told me he had left for the other city on Tuesday and he was physically fine. She said she was surprised too that he hadn't contacted me and will try and get through to him.
My friends think he's sorting himself out and will come back to me. He had told me he'll be back from the other city in a 'couple of weeks'. So it's not long to go before he's back here. We have only had 1 small tiff so far. When he left on Sunday morning he said 'see you soon'. He even forgot the t-shirt I had gotten for him…his beer's still in the fridge and he forgot the DVD he wanted to borrow from me. He rushed out because he was running late to meet a friend to return some money he told me.
Additionally he used to go silent every Sunday and Monday. When I asked him about this he told me there was nothing sinister – he'd just be sleeping in and sometimes meeting friends. So I was getting used to that trend. But this is too long :( More than 2 weeks now - I cannot understand. I have not contacted him for a week now but I do so miss him :(
Can he be detached after I was away for the 2 months? If so then why bother with organising the catch up & making future plans? Even my flatmate said he looked 'super keen'.
Can he be depressed? My ex had lost his job and spiralled into depression and broken up with me. This is why am wondering whether he's in a bad place and needs time to sort things out. Maybe feeling a bit emasculated too.
Is this his way of breaking up? Or am I assuming the worst?
Lastly, he is a Cancerian. I have noticed lots of articles about how they disappear and reappear. I am an Aries. He is 29 and I am 33. He has told my friends that he finds me intriguing and beautiful. He loves my cooking….could hardly keep his hands off me the last time we met and finds me 'weird'. When we last met we were laughing so hard that we nearly fell of the couch – so it was a lovely evening we spent. I have tried to help him with his job by providing him contacts to call. I have certainly been very caring and sweet to him. He's made a lot of effort too since it's always him coming over to my place and it's a 45 min journey on public transport. I really care for him and miss him. Except for once he has always been on time and I've never had to reschedule plans. My friends believe he genuinely likes me.
Thanks in advance and sorry about the long post!
Now he's been struggling for work for these 4 months and is completely broke. He is also worried about his visa. He is pretty frustrated with all of this.
I texted him once on the Sunday after we met, then on Monday and then on Tuesday. They weren't heavy texts. Just saying hi and wondering how he was. I rang him on Wednesday in case he didn't have credit. He didn't pick up. Am not fussed since we normally don't call each other. I texted him on Saturday to check about the housewarming. Nothing. I finally emailed him last Tuesday to let him know that I am not angry but concerned and that I care. I told him I am here if he needed to talk. Since quite a few people were telling me to visit his place, I finally did that last Friday. His flatmate told me he had left for the other city on Tuesday and he was physically fine. She said she was surprised too that he hadn't contacted me and will try and get through to him.
My friends think he's sorting himself out and will come back to me. He had told me he'll be back from the other city in a 'couple of weeks'. So it's not long to go before he's back here. We have only had 1 small tiff so far. When he left on Sunday morning he said 'see you soon'. He even forgot the t-shirt I had gotten for him…his beer's still in the fridge and he forgot the DVD he wanted to borrow from me. He rushed out because he was running late to meet a friend to return some money he told me.
Additionally he used to go silent every Sunday and Monday. When I asked him about this he told me there was nothing sinister – he'd just be sleeping in and sometimes meeting friends. So I was getting used to that trend. But this is too long :( More than 2 weeks now - I cannot understand. I have not contacted him for a week now but I do so miss him :(
Can he be detached after I was away for the 2 months? If so then why bother with organising the catch up & making future plans? Even my flatmate said he looked 'super keen'.
Can he be depressed? My ex had lost his job and spiralled into depression and broken up with me. This is why am wondering whether he's in a bad place and needs time to sort things out. Maybe feeling a bit emasculated too.
Is this his way of breaking up? Or am I assuming the worst?
Lastly, he is a Cancerian. I have noticed lots of articles about how they disappear and reappear. I am an Aries. He is 29 and I am 33. He has told my friends that he finds me intriguing and beautiful. He loves my cooking….could hardly keep his hands off me the last time we met and finds me 'weird'. When we last met we were laughing so hard that we nearly fell of the couch – so it was a lovely evening we spent. I have tried to help him with his job by providing him contacts to call. I have certainly been very caring and sweet to him. He's made a lot of effort too since it's always him coming over to my place and it's a 45 min journey on public transport. I really care for him and miss him. Except for once he has always been on time and I've never had to reschedule plans. My friends believe he genuinely likes me.
Thanks in advance and sorry about the long post!