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View Full Version : How to get to the bottom of it all


cecejj
Oct 31, 2011, 03:05 PM
I went out with my prince for roughly 2 months. We were getting on amazingly well - totally in sync, and plenty of spark. Better than any guy I've been with.

Then, out of nowhere, he broke up with me.. claiming he had been thinking of it a while and wanted something different and he didn't know what it was.
If that is true, he was a good actor because we were great up to last week. Anyway, I told him if he didn't know what he wanted, he didn't want me and then he said that's not true? Anyway, I didn't really get a reason out of him. He seemed rehearsed...

I checked my emails and fb 2/3hours after he broke up with me and he had it changed straight away which leaves me believing he was letting some other girl know he was single.

This is all very weird. The day before he broke up with me, he was making plans for the next week with me... How do you go from amazing to a guys ex in the space of one night? How do you go from being all over each other to passing each other?

I didn't do anything to him. This all came out of nowhere and people have asked what happened and I end up saying I don't know... I'm still shocked and am waiting to be told its all a big joke...

I asked to speak to him afterward (2 days after) but I stood him up cause I was too upset to go... He texted that he had waited.. I texted to ask to meet next week - he claims he's busy.

Im so confused at all of this... I haven't slept all week - I keep going over and over it in my head and before hand and there were no warning signs?

How can I find out what happened? And how can I get him back?

Wondergirl
Oct 31, 2011, 03:27 PM
Would you really want him back?

Be glad your life is now empty of this fellow, and go forward with a joyful and adventurous spirit.

cecejj
Oct 31, 2011, 03:57 PM
Yes I do. We were great and I always felt we both felt it was so right.

He was completely out of character when he did it. And still is!

What if something is wrong? I love him and I want to fight for him

DoulaLC
Oct 31, 2011, 04:27 PM
cecejj... he was a wonderful guy to date for two months, but he obviously figured out that there was something different he was looking for. Perhaps he decided he didn't want to be in a committed relationship right now and instead be free to date different people if he wanted to.

That is what dating is for... to get to know different people, find out what you like and don't like, etc. It doesn't mean he doesn't like you, it just means it didn't continue to click for him, even though it did for you. This, of course, is why people break-up. Somewhere it isn't working for either one, or both, of the people.

If he contacts you fine, but best to avoid chasing after him and trying to figure it out. Sometimes you just don't have the words to say why it didn't work, only that you can feel that it doesn't.

Maybe he didn't say anything sooner because he was trying to see if the same feelings he felt in the beginning were still there, and then he came to realize that they weren't. He obviously had been giving it some thought, while you were blindsided. It will take some time for you to let it sink in and be able to let it go so that you can be available to meet someone new.

It is no reflection on you. He just didn't end up feeling the same way that you did.

talaniman
Nov 3, 2011, 04:50 PM
Sometimes feelings change for no reason, and sometimes we are just shocked that amazing to us isn't someone else's idea of amazing. For what ever reason, just accept it was fun while it lasted, but now things have changed. I think you are still in shock, and this bad feeling will pass.

I don't think that standing him up, because you were to upset to talk to him was a hepful thing, so for now, just work on getting that bad feeing out of your system, because it seems you were more stuck on him, than he was on you, and that's a hard thing to do in only 2 months.

cecejj
Nov 17, 2011, 07:20 AM
Hey guys. We met recently and he claimed he was "unhappy" - Well that's definitely a push off. And when I asked since when, he said he couldn't put his finger on it! So how can he put it down to our relationship?
Cause we were both happy when we were together. I asked him to forget the relationship and tell me how he felt about me now and he said he "doesnt dislike me"! Wow. So its nothing to do with me yet he says that?

He then proceeded to get meaner towards me. His eyes were filling up in contradiction to his words.
Hes been now going around college avoiding me and pretending not to see me. Even darting into buildings to hide.
Its upsetting as I didn't do anything to deserve that? Im still dolled up, walking with confidence. Im not walking around in tears... so why go around hiding ?
Its so strange. He broke up with me? So why would he care if I was around ? Its just so rude what he's doing.
I don't believe his reason at all... We were always happy together.

What bothers me is that he never even gave us a chance!

DoulaLC
Nov 17, 2011, 03:10 PM
YOU may have always been happy when you were together, but apparently he was not.

Think about it this way: would you continue to date a guy that you thought was OK, a nice person, had nothing against, but that you didn't really have feelings enough for them to continue seeing them?

I think you should have accepted his answer to you about being unhappy, and not really knowing exactly when it started, and not continued asking him to explain more. He had already told you the first time around that he wanted something different. He is likely avoiding you now because he doesn't want to continue being questioned.

You dated, he decided it just didn't work for him, he thinks you are an OK person, he doesn't dislike you, but also knows that he is looking for something different in someone he wants to date. Often you just know if someone clicks with you or not. He gave it enough of a chance to realise that for himself.

Time to let it go and move on to meeting other people.

mmresd
Nov 17, 2011, 04:43 PM
Feelings were not mutual. You don't get him back and you don't need to know why he broke up with you, the "why" is not important. What is important is that you got dumped, the sooner you realize and accept this the sooner you will start healing from this relationship. Wait to calm down, keep yourself busy, and soon enough time will heal you from this and your life will be back to normal.