Log in

View Full Version : Why won't my boyfriend have sex with me? Or at least let me get to 3rd base?


Tinibublez
Oct 31, 2011, 12:26 PM
I am a college sophomore and he is a junior. We are ages 19 and 21, respectively.
We have been dating for 3 months and officially together for 1 month. Shouldn't the sex be wild and fantastic at this point? Granted, he's not the *most* attractive guy I could've gunned for (he's very tall and thin), but I still find him very attractive because this is my type (little does he know he's coming after a wannabe Air Force guy with a killer bod!) and our personalities complement each other very well.
I have to mention that he did get together (he said they just kissed) with this girl right before we began dating 3 months ago. She has dark hair, a relatively cute face (very girl-next-door), and an athletic build/is stouter than me. I look nearly the opposite of that excepting the dark hair. By this I mean I'm tall and thin and certainly do not look like the girl next door (I look more Spanish/European if anything) at all.
I recently saw him in a picture with a girl that he said was "sooo hot" and she looked very very similar to that one girl. Is it possible he's just not physically as attracted to me as he wants to be? We enjoy each other's company but all we do is make-out and we haven't even gotten to 3rd base yet! He treats me very very well and says that I'm his, "beautiful model", but there doesn't seem to be an pining or desire for me otherwise. It's one thing to appreciate beauty and another to be lusting after it (I'd very much like the latter in my boyfriend's case). Opinions?

Cat1864
Oct 31, 2011, 12:51 PM
Have you talked to him about your concerns?

Perhaps he is looking to get to know you better and doesn't want to rush into a sexual relationship. Without knowing anything about his past relationships, he could be afraid of repeating a pattern/cycle that has lead to break ups in the past. Could he be concerned about temptation getting out of hand and an accidental pregnancy occurring?

Those are just a few reasons for someone to hold back. Only he knows his own reasons. Talk to him and relax. Not everyone likes to jump into bed within a month of officially dating.

Good luck.

gothica12
Nov 5, 2011, 04:40 PM
What do you mean by third base excatly (yes I know the difference between the actual but there are different definitions so it's not always clear)

Fr_Chuck
Nov 5, 2011, 06:19 PM
Has view points and opinions on sex been discussed, there are people who still don't believe in random sex or even sex outside of marriage.

gothica12
Nov 7, 2011, 11:54 AM
Oh and maybe he won't have sex till he'd married. There's nothing wrong with that and I'd think it's admirable. But if you do it outside, it not a best but there are worse things and that doesn't make him a prude.

JudyKayTee
Nov 7, 2011, 12:13 PM
Agree with FrChuck - maybe he thinks virginity is a virtue.

smoothy
Nov 7, 2011, 01:15 PM
That and maybe he actually listened in health or sex ed class and knows the risk involved with someone new.

We each might know we are clean... but you really don't know about the other person... and won't for a long time.

HPV and Herpes are both nasty but rarely fatal... and don't have cures... and in many cases obvious symptoms. Some people are infected and don't know it.

And then maybe he is just the type to wait until marriage?