View Full Version : Should I stay with her? Or try to get back with my ex?
Mad91
Oct 26, 2011, 02:05 AM
I've been in a relationship for 2 and a half years now. Lately I'm not sure if I'm still happy with it. When we go out or just spend a night in she always gets an attitude that makes it seem like she's either annoyed or just mad. When I try and talk to her about it she just clams up and doesn't say anything. Later on when I ask her about it to figure out if it's something I did to avoid that situation in the future she still doesn't give me an answer. It feels like I'm the only one working to make our relationship work. My ex, who broke up with me about 4 years ago, recently became single. I've never really been able to get over her. When I was with her I was happy and she always told me what was upsetting her and it always felt like she was trying to make things work as much as I was.
I wish
Oct 26, 2011, 09:34 AM
You should do neither. Back away from the situation. Be single for a while to sort things out in your mind before you take the next step.
There's no rush to be in a relationship until things are clearer in your mind.
ThatLuckyGirl
Oct 26, 2011, 05:08 PM
I agree with the above. The best move is to go NC (No Contact). You want to hold all of the power. Don't give in. She will miss you. She will cave and when she does she we will be begging for you. If you need anymore help on dealing with NC and what to do afterwards I'd recommend checking out the book The Magic of Making Up. There's a really good review over at Get Your Ex Back (http://www.truthfulreviews.net/get-your-ex-back/) Anyway good luck to you!
Cheers,
ThatLuckyGirl
Cat1864
Oct 26, 2011, 06:02 PM
I agree with I wish. Leave both of them alone and figure out what you want in a relationship.
Do not play games with either one of them.
Do not leave one woman for another one.
If the previous relationship was so great then she wouldn't be an ex.
If you use No Contact then use it for what it is meant to be, a way to end confusion, heal and move forward with your life. It is not a method for manipulating your ex (new or old) into doing what you want or begging you to take her back.
You don't want to be with anyone who you have to trick or manipulate into wanting to be with you. If you can't have open and honest communication and compromise with your girlfriend then let her go and both of you can find partners who are better for you.
I do have a timing question for you. When did things start going downhill with your current girlfriend and when did you ex become single? Could your girlfriend be concerned, anxious, worried, etc. that you might be harboring thoughts of going back to your ex now that she is available? It can be an insecurity that she might be worried about raising for fear that her fears might be real.