Here is some background info on me.
She was the first girl I had ever truly dated.
This was not due to me being a beta type person but because I didn't ever see anyone up until that point that I could/wanted to be myself around.
As weird as it sounds she is the female me. We are both interested in the same activities, music, etc. We both share the same outlook on people which is test the waters thoroughly before showing any of your true self. We've have both lived through the same "darkness" in life.
I have only ever truly cared about another person in this world and that was her.
Like her I am able to read people to the point that I know what they will say before they say it and able to from there interject.

It happened a month ago she had come to me during morning classes and had told me that we needed to talk during lunch. She told me that she didn't want to continue the relationship. Which at that point in time she told me it wasn't even a true relationship to her due to her having only truly known me for half a year. This had hit me like a truck because not even 2 days before that we had been on a date having the time of our lives. She gave me 4 reasons as to why she wanted to. The first was that we were both extraordinarily sensitive people and the slightest thing done by each other is picked up analyzed and questioned. Second was that I could be insensitive to others emotions which while true was an aspect of me that I had been working on and improving. The third was that she felt we were going too fast which I had felt also. I am a virgin while she is not and throughout the relationship I had only progressed to second base which I had only done after a prompt by her. Last was that she felt that she didn't know me which was ironic to the extreme because aside from myself I am the only person who knows more about myself and I had told her almost everything about me. In fact throughout the time I knew her she helped me to become more like the person I had always wanted to be.

This year had been fairly stressful for her I see when I look back. She had finally moved out her home away from her alcoholic mother but she had to move to a farm in which she had barely any freedom. Along with the moving she had to start going to the school in which she had been terrorized and bullied by kids in the past. Stress related to the relationship was that her childhood friend and her cousin were constantly telling her lies about me saying that I was just a guy looking for sex and what not. She didn't believe any of these stories the true stress from this was that she constantly being told things she didn't want to hear. As if it were some twist of fate her cousin had been a girl that I had dated for about a month a year back but dumped because I didn't feel anything for her and her childhood friend had had a crush on me for 4 years.

The girl I love had in the past had been hurt horribly by men she had cared for in the past. Men who of course were only with her for sex. This coupled with the fact that she was being told all those misleading things by those two other girls lead her to ask if in fact I was only with her to have sex. The first time she posed this question had been less that a week after the whole second base thing... /facepalm. Despite all this I just told the truth that I was with her because I was able to be myself with her, that I was happy to be with her through her bad days and good days alike. Each time she asked what my intentions were I answered with that and each time she looked confused. When I asked her why she was confused she said that I couldn't possibly be telling the truth, that no guy could truthfully think that about her. Me being the easy to cry ***** I am had started crying in front of her once she said that and I hugged her. Still thinking that this wasn't genuine she asked me if I was still faking. Being as choked up as I was I couldn't give her an answer and I think she took it as a yes.

Fast forward to one week after the breakup we were at the water park together because it had been her cousin's birthday (the same cousin aforementioned). Near the end of our time there she had waved me over to her I complied. She then pulled my head down to hers and kissed me. At a loss for words all I could do was stand there with a blush on my face while she looked like she was shocked at what she had done. Later that evening we had taken the car with no one else in it back out of the city. During the ride I had leaned over and placed my hand on her cheek to face her towards me and I leaned in further for a kiss after half a minute of her not advancing any further I opened my eyes to look at her. All she said was "no." with tears in her eyes. When I asked her why she kissed me earlier she paused for a minute before saying that she must have been fatigued from the hours of swimming and wasn't thinking right. This sounded strange to me so I asked her again then while obviously crying she looked at me and said she doesn't know how to properly convey her feelings. Then a minute later she stopped crying and said that it was a goodbye kiss.

A week after this had happened she was obviously upset looking so I asked if she wanted to talk she said yes. That evening she told me after about 2 hours of talking about random **** that she had been sexually assaulted by her childhood friend (also a girl) and that she didn't know what to do. I was furious. The fact was that this wasn't the first time someone close to her did this to her. That along with the fact that the friend had said all those things before to try and break us up coupled with this smug look she gave me almost every day since we broke up made me want beat that *****. Shutting out the anger I told her to treat it as if it were a guy that had done it to her and inform the authorities. She hadn't listened to me and even worse continues to hang around her because the ***** of a friend is putting up an "I'm depressed pay attention to me or I'll kill myself" act. Then not even a week ago I received hints that her "friend" assaulted her again.

I need to know what to do and I am drawing upon every source of information I can. I want to be with her again not just so I can stop crying myself to sleep every night but so that I can protect her from people like her "friend". I haven't seen her smile once since we broke up and I need to change that. I have expressed to her that I want to pick up where we left off or even start from scratch but I believe out of fear of or for her "friend" she isn't listening to me.

Please don't give me a response like 'She's too much trouble." or "There's more fish in the sea."

Although "She's too much trouble." or "There's more fish in the sea." would be great advice in this situation I will refrain from using this.

There is nothing you need to do, she is no longer your girlfriend, and she needs to solve her problems herself. She doesn't want to be with you, and you need to accept her feelings. It doesn't matter why she broke up with you, what matters is that she did so.

Also, you need to stop being so emotional, girls like to be with someone that is going to take care of them, will be there to protect them, if you are more fragile than her, how do you expect her to feel comfortable?

This is going to hurt, and to suck, and A LOT!! It happens whenever you have feelings like these and have never been through a break up, however everyone goes through it. At first, it will seem impossible, especially because you have wrote your post in the form of a poem almost and your mind is so innocent that it will never seem to heal, especially because you have just accepted that you are emotionally unstable.

Then, eventually, with time, you will start healing, what you need to do now is cut complete conversation with her, so that you start to see her not even as an exgirlfriend but as an opportunity to learn someone from a previous experience. A "previous experience" and nothing else.

Finally, you will get to a point where you become a little stronger and you will understand things a little better, you will feel silly for feeling the way you are feeling right now. Stay calm, keep yourself busy, and eventually you will meet someone who wants to be with you. Remember, always work on yourself, fix those minor emotional glitches that you have, learn to control your emotions, in the long run, those skills will be very useful.

Sorry to hear about the break up, and the agony it has caused you. Break ups do suck. First love, or the 50th!

What you must do is accept it, that she no longer wants this attachment. That will take a while, as the shock wears off. IT WILL.

Then you leave her alone, so you can regain your strength, and confidence in yourself. In this way you will learn to cope with your feelings, and learn to deal with the reality of life.

That's how you learn, grow, thrive, and survive, and figure yourself out for the realities you have to face later.

For now, let family, and friends support you through this very tough time. It will get better.

The first step is to realize that this is over.
How you are broken up. Yup. And yes.

Removing that hope of getting back.

Once you do that, then on to the next step.

NC will help you through that process.

Stop talking to her. For good, if you can handle it.

Start doing for you, for a change. Stop thinking that a girl defines you. What you "need"
You want one so bad, but picked a bad one.

What does that say about you?

Or me? Ive picked lots of bad ones.

NC will help you through that process.

Stop talking to her. For good, if you can handle it.


The hardest part of all of this is that we share all the same friends and classes. This along with the fact that she is constantly starting conversations with me makes it incredibly hard to move on or do NC. Every time I see her even if I had been working on walling my feelings for her out it is broken within seconds of seeing her or hearing her voice or feeling her touch on my arm. Without completely throwing the life that I know away I can't rid my thoughts of her. She tells me verbally that she doesn't want to be with me, but at the same time her tone and body language blatantly contradicts what she says.

Believe that all you want.

The point is, if she wanted to be with you, then everything would be great. Right?
You wouldn't be posting here.

That isn't the case.

"The hardest part of all of this is that we share all the same friends and classes"
If that's the hardest part, then. You got to define what's easy & what's hard.

Your true friends stand by you, through girls, & whatever.
Unconditionally.

So, when you see her, just keep about your business.
Be nice. Then split. Act like you could care less.

Soon you will.

Do things without her in mind. Fun stuff.
What? Do you want to keep feeling lousy?

Dude, we all go through this. Have some self respect. Dignity.
You are way more important than her.

Fake it till you make it, and stop being teased by feminine charms. It's a woman's way to be attractive to males... whether they want them, or NOT!

Don't pay attention to details that are only in your mind. Just because she talks to you because she probably feels sorry for you, and you think it means more because of your HOPE is not going to solve anything. She has broken up with you, take it for what it is and start to get over it. If she gets close to you, shoo her away, let her feel the loneliness of her letting you go. She is telling you she doesn't want to be with you, that decision has already been made, accept it and move on to the next big thing in your life.