Moved to its own thread, and edited/T


I have been with my partner 5 years. The first 3-4 he kept going back to his ex girlfriend for 2-3 months to live, then would get fed up come out with excuses and apologies and would stay with me for same amount of time. He didn't have his own place probably didn't need one at the time. This went on an on, god I was stupid.

Now he has his own place, and has been seeing just me for about a year, but he still only seems to last about 6 weeks then retreats and wants to be on his own, doesn't want to live with anyone, then changes his mind, puts more effort in, then we back to being a normal couple, for a few weeks. Then he gets fed up again.

We actually get on brilliant as a couple, although he's not very loving, emotional. I just feel like I need to break away completely and find someone new. I have two teenagers and I think he blames his feelings on them, but I think he just can't handle a relationship. He doesn't have much to do with his own family, he visits, and walked away from his own kids when they were young.

Do you think he may have some problems ?

I think he is being true to himself, and does as he wants, when he wants, and a guy that can walk away from family and his own children, can walk away from any one at any time, and has proved many times.

The question really is why you take him back over, and over, know he will be gone soon. Obviously his idea of a relationship, is nothing like yours, and I doubt that he changes.

That leaves you to make some changes for yourself and maybe ending this cycle permanently would be a rather good option.

I agree with Tal.

It is what it is, and the question isn't why your on again, off again boyfriend, does what he does, it is why do you think that things will change. And, why do you settle for this.

I also agree with Tal that the cycle will keep repeating itself.

My advice is to seriously consider ending the relationship, and finding someone more stable.

The guy has problems. Focus on yourself and respect yourself. Go with your gut: "I just feel like I need to break away completely and find someone new." Do it and don't go back. It will be the best thing you can do for yourself.