In Florida, trying to figure out how to go about having my husband (married 4 years) now adopt my two boys from a previous relationship (never married). We just found out that their biological dad is currently in prison in Oklahoma. He has been living in Oklahoma since 2008 (it is now almost 2012) and he has not had a relationship with them since 2007. He never called, visited them once in 2008. Does not pay child support. My children are begging to share our last name. They don't even remember their birth father. My husband cares for them and loves them as his own. I am nervous that when he gets out of prison next month he will try to take them (I don't mean legally in court either) he is very mentally unstable. He has been arrested several times of the past 4 or 5 years (after we split up). If he were to become a productive member of society it would be very different, but my husband and I have tried and tried to get help him over the years to stand on his feet and be a part of their lives. Now, the boys are asking for my husband to adopt them. Where do we go from here?

Call a lawyer who specailizes in adoption. Your felon may be out of the picture but he stll has parental rights. Sounds like the kind of guy who might sell those rights for a price.

... Sounds like the kind of guy who might sell those rights for a price.

I hope you are not suggesting that OP pay such a price. Remember, child-selling is a crime in some states.

I hope you are not suggesting that OP pay such a price. Remember, child-selling is a crime in some states.

But it does happen all the time. They call it relinquishment of child support debt. And Im sure that is what Ballangerb1 is talking about.

But it does happen all the time. They call it relinquishment of child support debt. And Im sure that is what Ballangerb1 is talking about.

In general if you or I would talk to our ex and try to arrange this, it is illegal, if the attorneys work out a deal, somehow they make it legal. I have seen it done in GA all the time.


But the issue here is that first if he plans on kid napping the kids, an adoption will not change his plans,

You failed to state if there are custody agreements in place, are there current child support orders in place.

Yes, there are current child support orders from June 2008 (we split up in 2006 but we were civil then and were able to arrange everything outside of courts in 2006 then in 2008, after 7 months of my new marriage, he stopped be civil) and even told us he won't pay child support because "you have a husband"... To date from June 2008 to current he has paid 1,023. And 800 of that wasn't him paying, it was the government intercepting a tax return. No custody was determined, we were never married and I was told my the clerk at the county courthouse that when I filed for child support, that made me the primary parent.

It will be a harder and more costly adoption, if the ex will not sign to allow it to happen. If his prison is long term, that can be one of the reasons used, along with his non contact, He will have to be served and arrangements made if he wants to fight it in court.

So your only real first step is to hire an attorney to start the adoption process.

If you want your husband to adopt the children just do a step aprtent adoption and have the partent served with the court papers in jail. I just went thoguh a step parent adoption in the FL. In would be happy to email you the Fl template that I received from the clerk of courts.

I did a do it yourself adoption it cost us $411.00 to do the full adoption in FL. As for the back owed child support it must be stated and agreed upon on whether to relinquish the support. In my case the back owe was in excess of 5K and the child support was owed. CSE will still collect the support for you from his tax return until the balance is paid in full.