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WVmudmouth
Oct 10, 2011, 12:00 AM
Ok, I'm going to try and keep this short and sweet. My ex and I went out for 7 months. We split up in June. A month later she was dating my "buddy" and soon got engaged to him within a damn month! I tried to keep civil with both of them for the sake of my son.

The day I went to the ultrasound to see the gender in August my buddy told me it was his kid and that my ex cheated on me with him. That made me mad beyond belief so I changed my number, blocked all of them on Facebook. Everyone they were associated with a lot of people. For 2 months my ex tried to get a hold of me non stop. My buddy told her lies saying I wanted her to die and all that which was all lies, and told me lies about the cheating and about her not wanting me there. I was so mad id didn't want to listen to reason. They both seemed to be closer than me and her ever was..

After trying so hard to get a hold of me I ran into her in the Walmart parking lot. She explained everything saying after a month of dating him, it was a mistake and that she wanted to get a hold of me to talk about "us" but at the time she was dating my buddy she was saying he was the only one she loved and even wanted to name the boy after him, so I heard.

She wants me back, but she has done re-bounds on all her relationships. Going back to ex's after break-ups. So I'm weary. I just don't think I can ever forgive or forget her sleeping with my buddy, right after we split up.

We did a Placental DNA test and it is mine. A part of me wants to try and have that family life with her as we did live together for most of our relationship. But a part of me will never get over what she did and the bull crap that happened, cause she will go for other guys and want them to try to take role of the dad. I know how she is. I know what she does. She just says she misses me, and wants me back and that she is sorry. But she said that and done that with all her other ex's.

And I just want to do what's best for my son. And myself. Any advice would be great. Thank you

K9_51
Oct 10, 2011, 02:04 PM
She has two guys in her life at the moment as well as being pregnant. I think that she is just a bit confused as to what to do now. All you can do is stay with her throughout the pregnancy and be there for your son. You should have a relationship with her now but not necessarily a romantic one. If time passes and you come to forgive her then that's great. Maybe you can slowly work back into the relationship

Fr_Chuck
Oct 10, 2011, 04:18 PM
I am shocked they did a DNA test at this point, I will ask this nicely, are you sure they really did that test, Are you sure she is not just saying that they did one ?

And is she with you only because you are the baby daddy, Is that the only reason you are with her,

vanheart
Oct 11, 2011, 01:01 AM
I agree, find out for certain. Without a shadow of doubt. Screw gossip.

"We split up in june.
A month later she was dating my "buddy" and soon got engaged to him within a damn month!"
"she will go for other guys and want them to try to take role of the dad"
"she was saying he was the only one she loved and even wanted to name the boy after him"
"she has done re-bounds on all her relationships"

You already know what she's about.

Take responsibility. One way or another.

WVmudmouth
Oct 11, 2011, 02:09 PM
Yeah, she insisited I do the DNA test this early cause she was crazy yelling and collapsing under pressure. She hates being called on her crap. So, she said its mine but "lost" the results. I think she is trying to play me somehow cause I doubt its coincidence that she lost the results.. I mean I really do hope its mine. A child fills a place in your heart that you didn't know was empty. But thank you everyone its really helped me out. If it is mine than ill try to be the best father, She keeps calling and calling trying to suck up, but all feeling for her is gone so ill be civil, just for the boy. I just don't ever ever have the heart to leave my child. She said she doesn't want to ask for child support. Is there anyway the court can do that?

J_9
Oct 11, 2011, 02:19 PM
Were you there for the DNA test? Remember, they need a "piece" of your DNA to determine whether the child is yours or not.

I work in women's health, particularly labor and delivery and I don't work for one doctor who will do a test while the baby is still in the womb. It's just to dangerous to the fetus.

ScottGem
Oct 11, 2011, 02:28 PM
she said its mine but "lost" the results.

She didn't lose the results, there were no results to lose. As J_9 said, no doctor will perform a DNA test on a fetus to determine paternity.

So you wait until the child is born and you have a test really done with the results going to you.

WVmudmouth
Oct 14, 2011, 12:34 AM
Oh, I figured something was up, she likes to weasel her way out of stuff too, I'm just a backwoods boy and I isn't stupid but I do not know a lot on the tests and all that, but thank you for letting me know. She goes to great extent to lie to me, like having me give blood to take for a DNA test. Right than I should have detected something was up. But thanks for letting me know that they will in fact not to that and putting my mind at ease about me giving blood for DNA (which I now know never happened). Ill just wait it out until January I guess, she keeps calling and calling and wanting me at the doctors appointment, but to be honest, I don't know if I want to see her.

ScottGem
Oct 14, 2011, 03:06 AM
Giving blood was the first clue. DNA samples for paternity tests are generally done from a swab of your inner cheek. Also you would never be asked to submit your own sample, a lab technician would be required to take the sample.

talaniman
Oct 14, 2011, 12:39 PM
Boy, boy, boy. Even if you are the father, you can be a great dad without being her emotional tampon. That's what courts are for and I wouldn't trust her as far as you can throw her. Baby, or NOT!

Between her, and YOUR buddy, you are in really bad company.

vanheart
Oct 14, 2011, 02:39 PM
I agree. Be the best Dad you can.

Choose gfs & buddys wisely from now on.

Do you have any family or support in this?
I would get some family & legal advice asap.

You will need it.