I am 37 my partner is 40, We have a nice home don't want for much and love each other dearly.. I have done quite a lot of travelling in my life and lived in other country's. Some third would some not.. So I guess I have experienced quite a lot so far. So I would say I am far from stupid.

Here's the problem

About 9 months ago I bumped into a young lady of 20 years of age she had crashed her car of the road as I passed in the traffic I could see that she was upsett.. Anyway I pulled over to get out and help.. Got out my car and as I was walking over to her something felt strange I can't explain like I had done this already and was doing it again it was noticeable anyway otherwise I would not have questioned myself, Anyway as I got the passenger side and knocked on her window I bent down to look through to see if she was going to open the door, I was taken back what I saw and felt, I knew that the girl had blonde hair from I passed but didn't quite see her face.. Anyway straight away from looking at her even though she was upsett I felt that I knew her and all these fellings just came rushing through I mean strong ones.. I kept a lid on it and helped her and called the recovery, I was in a bit of a rush so I gave her mumber and said if there is a problem call me and I will come back..

I drove home that night and heard no more from her but I couldn't get over the way I felt about this girl and the whole situation it was really troubling me.. 2 weeks later I get a call thanking me for the help, I was like that's no problem really, After talking for a few minutes she said its so funny as it feels like I have meet you before like you are important to me but we don't know each other.. I kept kind of cool and laughed it off.. But this is how I was feeling I can't put my finger on it.. though she is very very attractive, I never have had trouble with girls at all plus I really isn't that shallow and from my experience its what's inside that counts. But anyway from then on we kind of kept in contact by tex. Within a month we met up for lunch and a chat as we were becoming friends. I have my partner she also has a partner. But when we met and the feelings were unreal this wasn't lust I know what that is this was something really weird.. Its like I can hear her thoughts when looking into eyes and the same back in return its like I can feel her actuall person.. Anyway 9 months have passed and things have been said and done a lot of things we shouldn't have as we both have partners.. But now although my partner means the world to me and I would never want to hurt her and do really love her to bits I have the same feelings for the 20 year old and a lot more. Its this connection thing.. I have met lots of people, Seen loads of attractive girls all over the world but never I have had this thing with anyone. I am not a player I have never cheated in all my years. She could be unattractive but I know I will still feel this way. I am a thinker and think everything through and there is a strong part of me that this is wrong on many levels and has no future.. But there's part off me that's saying you could go a life time and never find and not feel this way.. The 20 year old by the way feels the same in regard to it being wrong"shes a thinker to".. But how can something that feel so right be wrong. She wants to be together..

What do I do..

Okay. Seems like it's quite a tough problem. First off, I think this is what's going on..

The girl who's in her 20's feel that she's safe with someone like you because of the age gaps. It also may be that she's really feeling "something" for you, but most likely, and psychologically, it's common that younger women prefer older men because they feel "safe" or "comforted." If you are already in a relationship now, then I should say you're just having a kind of "where to go" moments. Before you think about that pretty lady in her 20's, why don't you start from the side between you and your current partner? If you suddenly have feelings for another person, you may be having some internal problems that you are facing with your partner and it's something that can be solved all with a deep conversation in the night. Night is the best time to talk about things should you have anything in mind that you would wish to discuss with your partner. And hey, it's not like having feelings for another lady is a bad thing. We are born humans and we die as humans and not saints. It's quite natural to "like" someone. But it isn't an everyday thing to "fall in love" with someone. So I advise you to think things through, if this is really "love" you're feeling or is it just an "attraction" mistaken as love. You just need more time to decide on things. And remember, that a three-way relationship, or the "triangular relationship" would always end up quite depressing, because you know that you have to leave one person to be with the other. If you really love your partner and you both have been together for a long time, keep it that way, and to make things better, I think it'd be nice to have her (the lady in her 20's) as a close acquaintance, a friend. This way you would feel you have the attention and care from both of them at once. Hitting two birds with one stone I suppose. Hope this works for you and I really can't stress enough, what you need right now at times like these, is time and ONLY time itself. Need time to think first before acting things out my friend. Buona fortuna to you, and Godspeed :) I know all will go well for you!

One mature guy to another, you were overwhelmed by your feelings, and crossed the lines of good behavior, and given in to the temptations we all have to confront.

What you do now is get back on the right side of that line, by stopping these inappropriate contacts. You have made fantasy a reality, and the only thing is direct actions to stop going down a bad path, as good and right as it FEELS. FACT is this is a path of lying, cheating, and deceit.

Feelings happen, we cope, and deal with them, but crossing the line is unacceptable, and dishonest, and there is no excuse, though you make many.

Do the right thing, and you already know what that is. I understand getting carried away, but not for 9 months of deliberate dishonesty. Maybe you thought/think you know what lust is or isn't, but you sure don't know how to handle it. Giving in to it is NOT the way to deal with those types of feelings.

Do the right thing, and end this, and I hope one day you can get honest with yourself, and your partner.

Good Luck.

Concentrate on your current relationship. I would stop before you make a giant mistake.
Im sure your partner wouldn't be too happy about all of this.

This is a good test of your will & smarts. Nice fantasy.

Ah, those 20 year old girls...

Oh, well.