Log in

View Full Version : What can I do to keep my sons 'donor' away from him?-


LovingMother23
Sep 29, 2011, 12:18 PM
I left the man I made my son with when my son was 5 months old because he was abusing me mentally and physically, and there was a lot of drinking and drugs around me. I then met someone when my son was 1 1/2 (and I'm still with him). About 9 months after I left, my sons bio-father took me to court for visitation (keep in mind no support was paid) and it was granted. He took him every other Friday night. The last time he saw him he was right after his 2nd b-day (so his visits were for about 8-9 months). I picked up my son and he was covered in flea bites and they were oozing and puffy. I rushed him to the ER and he had a severe staff infection and a life threatening temperature. I called my sons bio-dad and told him to never call us again, and to stay away. My son is now 5 years and 4 months old. Two days ago his bio-dad threatened to take me to court for visits again, it's the very first time he has contacted me. Please help me, what can I do. My son calls my boyfriend of almost 4 years daddy and loves him. He doesn't even know who his bio-father is. The man is a complete low life. His own father has a restraining order against him. He owes me over $10,000.00 in back child support, can't keep a job, lives with his grandparents, and has been in and out of jail/trouble with the law. PLEASE help. There must be a way to fight this! My son already has a daddy that he loves, this will only confuse him and shatter his whole world. What can I do? Will a judge really allow a complete stranger to come in and turn my sons world upside down, with his track record? I know he had a visitation order, but he hasn't tried to make contact, or fight for it in over 3 years.

cdad
Sep 29, 2011, 01:28 PM
Yes he can enforce the visitation order. And you could be arrested and jailed if you don't comply with the current order. Referring to the bio father as the donor only makes you look bad all the way around and the fact that you have hidden the child's father from the child makes it even worse.

So unless you can convince the courts that the man you adored is a real threat to your child then get used to the visitation.

ScottGem
Sep 29, 2011, 01:34 PM
You had no right to arbitrarily stop visitation. You could have temporarily stopped while you went to court to change the order, but not take it upon yourself.

As Caifdad said, unless you can prove him a danger to the child he is likely to get visitation.

Your best bet is to marry your boyfriend and try for an adoption. He may agree to it since it will end his support obligation.