Log in

View Full Version : I don't get it!


mar222
Sep 23, 2011, 07:55 AM
Hey I have been chatting with a guy for awhile online and he wrote on his profile never married.. Well I found out he was married and divorced even though he never told me. Why not just tell the truth from the start.. Actually I found out myself he didn't admit it.. well I stopped talking to him. Did I do the right thing.. Also he was always making excuses why it wasn't time to meet etc...

JoeCanada76
Sep 23, 2011, 08:09 AM
Hey I have been chatting with a guy for awhile online and he wrote on his profile never married..Well I found out he was married and divorced even though he never told me. Why not just tell the truth from the start..Actually I found out myself he didn't admit it..well I stopped talking to him. Did I do the right thing.. Also he was always making excuses why it wasn't time to meet etc....

I actually do get it. This person was in a relationship. Married and divorced, meaning that he is not in a relationship right now. Lots of times the profile options do not have that many options to chose from. Chatting with a guy over the internet does not necessarily mean you have a relationship with him. How did you find this out? Oh and it takes time to move on from a relationship and maybe jumping into another one is not what he wanted anyway. IF you stopped chatting to him because of that, then well guess your looking for perfection. Which will never happen. No one is perfect. He did not want to meet yet, obviously he is not ready to jump into another relationship.

talaniman
Sep 23, 2011, 04:11 PM
He lied about his profile, and no telling what else he lied about, so you did the right thing by leaving him alone.

odinn7
Sep 23, 2011, 04:17 PM
He is likely lying anyway. Wouldn't surprise me if he's married right now. I think you did the right thing.

Cat1864
Sep 23, 2011, 05:07 PM
Is this the same male from last year? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/online-chatting-481415.html

If not, how long have you been talking with this person?

Are positive that your information is correct? Did he confirm it? Did you give him a chance to explain?

He may have a good reason for having his status as never married. It would keep people from probing for details about why it failed, before he is ready to share that information. He could have found that the women he wanted to meet were 'put off' by his marital status. I can think of several other reasons.

I do have a problem if he continued the deception after being asked about it or why he hasn't married.

Only you know what has been said and how many other red flags are flying. Since you already stopped contact with him, you have probably made the wisest choice for you. I would probably make the same decision.

I do have to ask if you have had any success with meeting people on-line. If not, do you need to think about finding a different way to meet people?

mar222
Sep 27, 2011, 06:48 AM
Hi Thank you everyone for responding.. This guy is acutally a different one. I don't have a problem that he was married it was just the way it was done.. On the profile it gives you a option. Married, Never Married, Divorced, etc.. He put never married.. When I asked him if he was he said he was never married.. Also he was acting strange lately. We would chat for awhile then I would not hear from him for like 2 months... I figured something was up.. Maybe it is time to try to meet someone not online... Thanks

JoeCanada76
Sep 27, 2011, 06:54 AM
Hi Thank you everyone for responding.. This guy is acutally a different one. I dont have a problem that he was married it was just the way it was done.. On the profile it gives you a option. Married, Never Married, Divorced, etc.. He put never married.. When I asked him if he was he said he was never married..Also he was acting strange lately. We would chat for awhile then i would not hear from him for like 2 months... I figured something was up.. Maybe it is time to try to meet someone not online... Thanks

I think you are right. It will save a whole lot of hassles. So I agree with your realization that you should try to meet someone in person, and not online.

Cat1864
Sep 27, 2011, 06:55 AM
I think moving on is probably your best option.

Good luck and I hope you find someone who is ready to be in a relationship. :)