So last night I had sex for the first time with someone I have known for about 2 months. He is a wonderful guy but is only in the country on an internship for another 6 months and before doing it he clarified that he is not looking for a relationship, which I completely understand given the circumstance. So anyway, we did the deed and he was very gentle and considerate ( like I said it was my first time ). After we were done he wrapped his arms around me, pulled me close and we slept in a tight embrace all night... Then when the morning came, I woke up, panicked. I didn't know if he would want to deal with me in the morning since we agreed this is not a relationship thing. So I just collected myself and left without waking him up... I thought that was the way to go, but when I told my friend she said that was a very bad thing to do and that I should have woken him up and talked to him before leaving... Now I don't know what to do. I'm going to see him today at a mutual friends bbq and I don't know if I should apologize or not mention it at all... I'm really a social clutz when it comes to relationships so I really need advice. Thank you!

When faced with a situation like the one you were in, ask yourself how you would like the other person to act. How would you feel if he left without saying something? It generally cuts down on the confusion if you know what you would like and act accordingly.

It doesn't mean you did anything wrong. You felt awkward and that is how you reacted.

I would apologize for leaving so abruptly and if a reason is desired explain feeling awkward and reacting without really thinking or over thinking.

You don't have to be an 'official' couple to go out and have fun together including having sex if that is what you both want. If you continue the relationship, ask him what he would prefer in the future. Being able to communicate with each other will help keep misunderstandings and confusion down.

The only caution I am going to give is to be careful not just with your heart but with birth control. Keep your eyes and your mind open and have fun.

So my skills of messing a situation up continues to shock even me... Here is a follow up on how to the situation continued, once again this is a cry out for help and advice. Thank you!

The day of the morning sneak out I saw him at a bbq that our fellow friends were having. When I arrived we right away made eye contact but I was embarrassed so I went straight for my female friend and stuck to her, talking. He casually made his way towards us and for a while the three of us talked. Then my female friend walked away, leaving us making small talk. I kept trying to think of a way to bring up the night before, and realized I should mention the necklace I forgot on his nightstand, but he actually brought that up first. So I used that opportunity to apologize about leaving the way I did, and he said that I was all right. So... we made some more small talk, joked around like always and soon I had to leave because I had another previous engagement. So I told him I had to go and left. He kissed me on a cheek goodbye, but then he is chilean and I know they all do that, but he never did it before even though his friends did... anyways as I was walking out of the park ( that's where the bbq took place) I realized that I was still very confused about where we stood, so I did something that I think was a big mistake.

I messaged our mutual female friend ( I didn't even have his number at the time) and I asked her to tell him that I needed to talk to him about something and ask if he could meet me at a certain spot in the park... so I waited for like 15 minutes and then I thought maybe she did not get the message so I send her another saying I think she didn't get my message in time so I was leaving, to make sure if she got it later she would know not to tell him to come... So I get on the train and am underground for 30 minutes, I get out and get message from a number I don't recognize... which says "I came! What happened? See ya have fun at the bd!" So again I panicked, thinking that message sounded pretty pissed, So I send him 3 messages, first saying the he must have gotten the message late because I waited a long time and then I left. Second saying I was sorry about the mix up and that I really wanted to talk. And third saying I hope he wasn't angry with me. Now normally I would not spam a persons inbox, but I was panic messaging... anyways that was yesterday, and I never got a response... Now I know I will see him tomorrow because we work in the same company, and I don't know what to do... or not to do... please help!

Calm down and take a deep breath. Tell yourself that if nothing else comes of this, you are learning new skills in communicating and impulse control.

Put it in perspective. You weren't expecting anything out of this other than a 'fling' and if he has distanced himself from personal contact there is no harm done. You are developing better skills for your next relationship.

Be yourself and act like you normally would at work. It is his turn to make contact if he is going to. You have done what you can. Misunderstandings and bad timing happen. It may be happening on his part this time. If he does approach you, be polite. No need for more apologies. If he wants to explain why he didn't return your texts, listen with an open mind. See where the conversation goes.

If you both still want to try meeting up, exchange phone numbers and limit texting until you get a better idea of each other's personality. Without visual and auditory cues, texting very easily lends itself to misunderstandings.

You are learning the fine art of dating. Expect to have hits and misses. Don't beat yourself up over the 'misses'. You are human and being human means we make mistakes. So far yours are very minor. Dwelling on them will only cause you to second guess yourself which can lead to bigger mistakes due to not trusting yourself.

Good luck and may you have fun with him or with someone else.

Stop trying so hard to do everything right, and be perfect. No one is.

You want to know if its just sex? Of course it is, and you made it easy for him. Don't, and see what he does. See what he is up to. Relax, don't panic, or get carried away so soon. It's a fling, not a relationship. Your first, but no telling how many he has had and so far he will be nice to get more sex. That's what guys do with easy sex, they go for it.

Have fun, but be careful, and keep it real. Much to soon for an office fling to be more than what it is.

One of the best would have to said bye, but it sounds like you are having a hard time dealing with the emotions involved with this. "just sex" is often not just sex to both sides, And of course I will assume you used birth control.