Log in

View Full Version : My grandbaby is my exhusands daughters baby


mamawtears
Sep 12, 2011, 05:50 AM
I have been divorced from my ex-husband for 5 years now and still very involved with his daughter who is 19 and still calls me mom. Recently she had a baby boy. He is 2.5 months old. My step daughter is not being there for him and has someone else, including me, watching him 90% of the time. She is supposed to be going to school and is skipping to get tattoos and hang out at the pool, while leaving her child with me or her other grandparents. There are other issues as well that could get her in some serious jail time. Do I have the right as an ex-parent of her, to file for legal guardianship of my step grandchild. The mother calls me mom and calls me grandma to the baby. I have had the baby every single weekend since he has been born. What rights do I have?

kcomissiong
Sep 12, 2011, 10:33 AM
Anyone can file for guardianship of the child, but your relationship with the child, appropriateness of the guardian, and fitness of the parents will determine if they can get it. If she is willing to give you guardianship, then that would be far easier. If you want it awarded involuntarily, you would need a compelling reason, and would likely have to report her behavior to CPS, social services, or the police. You also have to consider that there are blood relatives who are involved in the child's life, and should they want to seep guardianship over the child, you may be out of luck. Where is the dad in all of this? Is there an existing cusody agreement? I would suggest that you seek out a consultation with a family law attorney, who can help you understand what options are available to you in this situation.

mamawtears
Sep 13, 2011, 04:34 AM
The father only sees the baby 1 time a week and is not in a position to care for the child on a full time basis. He works 3rd shift and doesn't have a vehicle. There is no custoday set up in the courts for him. The grandmother of my step daughter has also expressed interest in asking her to give guardianship to her which I am sure she would succeed in that, but she is 65 yrs old, and in ill health, and falls quite frequently which is not safe for the 2 month old baby. They also do not have a the cleanest home and her and her husband smoke like freight trains, which is not healthy for him. We have planned on doing an intervention with the mother of the baby, and go from there. I know the baby would be fine with the grandparents, and I will not argue that in court, but I will just state my case and why I believe I would be suited to raise him. I am young, my husband and I have very well paying jobs, we are healthy, clean home, we don't smoke or drink. Plus, we have the baby almost every single weekend. When the baby is not with us, he is with his grandmother. She has not bonded with this baby or made any effort to spend more than a few hours with him on any given day. I just want this baby to be safe, healthy and loved.

mamawtears
Sep 13, 2011, 04:37 AM
She has not bonded with him, as in the mother I mean.

Fr_Chuck
Sep 13, 2011, 04:55 AM
Bonding, for the mother, or what shift or what a father drives is not "legal" reasons to get or lose custody.

If the father is on the brith certificate, he has full rights as the mother does at this point. * if there is no custody orders.

There are lots of other people who legally would have a better stance of getting the child if there was a forced legal move. Or CPS can just take the child , if deemed best and put in foster care.

Remember you are just a "step" grandparent, and not a legal grandparent ( from what you appear to have said) so even in states with grandparents rights you do not have any rights what so ever to the child.

mamawtears
Sep 17, 2011, 05:33 AM
I know you are right about the laws, as I have done tons and tons of research and consulted with my family lawyer. I was not planning on taking the child away from the mother permanently. The focus is the help her and get her to understand that going out and partying and leaving her newborn baby for 7 days without so much of a phone call could lead up to her losing this child. I myself grew up in the system going from foster home to foster home and eventually adopted at the age of 8, so I remember the gruesome details of being shoved around for 8 years. So anything I can do to break the cycle for my step daughter, I am willing to do. I can however foster this child while the mother gets on her feet. Blood or not, this baby means the world to me as does my step daughter. I am still very involved in the family of my ex, I speak to my ex in laws on a daily basis, as they are the grandparents of the child my ex and I had together. So, there is blood living in my house, which the lawyer said is a plus as far as a case if it ever goes to that. Thanks for all the advice.