I am 28 years old and my boyfriend is 30. We have been together for 4 years and living together for two. Our relationship was serious right from the start. We would tell his friends he wanted to marry me when we had only been dating a few months. We are deeply in love and everything in our lives is going right. We both have the jobs we want and are totally happy together. Over a year ago we started talking about marriage seriously. We have talked about it a lot and he always says he wants to marry me. We are both school teachers and have discussed how we both want to get married in the summertime. About 4 months ago I told him that it would be important to me to get engaged sometime this summer, so we can get married next summer. He said that this made sense to him and that wants that too. Well summer has come and gone and I am freaking out that he has not proposed yet. We have discussed this and he says he feels like I am trying to pin him down to my timeline. I understand how he feels, but I don't know why he hasn't done it yet. I know he loves me but I am nervous he's never going to do it. I feel like I am being crazy because it is all I can think about. Everyone in his family tells him he should do it. I just don't know what he is waiting for. I am afraid if I talk to him about it more I am going to freak him out and turn our engagement into an argument rather than the truly happy occasion that it should be. Help! Am I crazy? What should I do?

Continue to talk. Without pressure.

It sounds like you are both happy. Be grateful for that.

I know people that have been together for 20+ years, never got married. And are happy as clams.
Also know married people that can't stand each other. And some that never should have.

My best friends are married & are perfect for each other, but have their share of problems, and continue to overcome them.

The important thing is to communicate & grow with common goals. Enjoying being together in the meantime.

So pick a date and see if that is OK, He agreed, sounds like he may just want you to make all the plans

I think you both are afraid, him of commitment, you of honestly expressing your feelings.

You guys have been living together for two years already. That is showing commitment in itself. Some places they call it common law which is just as binding as the real marriage certificate.

It has already been talked about. It has already been mentioned the thing is why put pressure on him to do it when you want? OR like? Just imagine if he is trying to set up a surprise proposal or wanting to do something special. Do you really want to ruin that?

I know your excited and anxious and want an engagement and marriage at a certain time but maybe he is not ready for it the same way you are. Remember you do not need a marriage to say that you both are committed to each other.

Thinking that you need to focus on other things and the more you use pressure techniques the more resistance will come.

Patience is needed in this situation. Sounds like he is getting from all sides and everybody. Maybe he wants to do it when he is ready and not let everybody else decide for him?

People make that one wedding day more important then anything else. The Minister that married my wife and I said to us. He is not worried or concerned about our wedding day. What is important is how we live our lives together on a daily basis and for the rest of our lives.

It depends what you want, and what you are willing to settle for.

If you are willing to settle for how it is now, without marriage, then I would say that after all this time, and all the talking, let the marriage thing go.

If you want more out of a relationship, i.e. marriage, then it is time to address the issue. He said he is willing, agreed to a very reasonable year long engagement, yet he hasn't budged.

What I would do, is plan a nice dinner- out. After an enjoyable meal (we aren't talking McD's here), then, take his hand, and ask him to marry you. Formal enough a venue, yet not too informal that he can avoid the seriousness of the question.

He may surprise you and say yes! He may say, I can't make a decision right now. He may say no. But, clearly by asking such an important question, he is obligated to get off the fence and give you a straight answer.

Then you will know. I would, personally, stop waiting for him. Take the question itself to the next level in a very special way, and ask him yourself.