Hi,
I am working in a small accounting company in NY and I really like this women who works in my team. We are the only singles in our team. I asked her to join me for coffee once and then in two days she asked me to join her for lunch. Most of the time she appeared very silent and shy. I did the talking and somehow felt like stupid and nervous. We have gone out thrice by now and then when she sees me in office, she hardly initiates contact or just gives a superficial "Hi" and becomes silent rest of the day. She also agreed to another lunch I invited.

Even when no one's around - she hardly speaks until I say something and then the conversation dies. She doesn't look in my eyes either and appears cold. I am not sure what makes her uncomfortable around me. I really like and respect her but just don't know what to do. In spite of going out together, we have this awkward silence and some uncomfortable kind of shyness and feeling going around us.

She never initiates conversation though she had told me couple of times that she is an introvert. But I am surprised that she is doing well with everyone else except me. I am around her for a long time and she hardly gives me attention and then this guy who joined 3 weeks back has become good friends with her and they do all kind of talking that sometimes irritates me. Kind of depressing also. :(

Just thought I can share it with the world and get some answers. Thank you!

Can I ask if you are wanting a friendship with this woman or more than that?

If you are wanting a friendship maybe the fact that you are both shy is making it difficult. Perhaps neither of you know what to say. Try asking her questions about what she does outside work, her interests, etc. Share some of the things you feel passionate about.

If you are looking for more than a friendship you need to be aware if there is a company policy on colleagues dating, some companies frown on it. It can also get very tricky if things go wrong. Maybe this is something she is concerned about.

If you want a friendship with this girl then keep doing what your doing and take her to lunch like you do in high school. Be a man and ask her on a actual date. Take her somewhere nice and get this ***** before your other co worker does. Cause then he is going to ask her on an actual date(you pay/bring flowers too) If you don't your going to ask yourself all the time what if I asked her out first. Your going to see her with another gu and say to yourself that should have been me! We all see these gorgious girls with these other guys and say why isn't she with me. Be a man you have nothing to loose and aske her out! She already likes you because she has asked you out and you have already asked her out. Drop your nuts and get **** done. Lets go

Getting with a co-worker is treading on serious ground.
Careful, buddy.

Ive worked with lots of attractive women. Lots of jobs.
Damn.

Your job is to figure out what your job is.

Don't use it as a reason to meet girls.

I am not to keen on dating co workers, that's a messy situation mixing work and romance, since most romances are short lived or fail. At this point though, I sure would be enjoying engaging her in conversation, and the only way to open up introverted people is with asking questions about them, and see what they respond with.

Don't know if you are secure enough within yourself to probe a bit deeper, but I sure would. Put ideas of romance on hold for now until you learn much more, and don't worry about perceived competition.

Keep it simple, and friendly, and see what happens. But I wouldn't put all my eggs in her basket at this point. That means don't get carried away by your own feelings, and fears, nor have high expectations beyond friendship.

You do work together and have to see each other every day regardless if there is romance in the air, or NOT.

Thanks everyone for taking time to reply to my posting. I tried to set up a couple of casual dates and ended up cancelling it due to valid reasons and then on she is acting kind of cold and "busy". Just planning to give some space and wait for sometime doing nothing and then see how it goes from there.

Honestly maybe you guys are good as working partners, or whatever it may be. It sounds like things are awkward and work relationships are very tricky like others have said. Who knows she could be interested in somebody else. These dinner dates or lunch dates or whatever they are, sounds really forced. Is she shy and quiet because she likes you or other reasons.

Who is paying for the meals is my other question?

She isn't your girl. Just work infatuation.

She's realizing that this isn't cool. Dating at work. "cold and "busy"

Don't be silly here. Jeopardize your job over attraction.
Get out more.

Flirting is one thing. But reality is another.

I've had bosses that fire people for that stuff.

Stop tripping.
There's other girls.