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View Full Version : How do I bring up the issue of lack of sex with my boyfriend


Gizme
Sep 5, 2011, 07:04 PM
My boyfriend never wants to have sex. It can go almost two months or more with nothing. If I never brought it up we would never have sex. But I hate bringing it up. It keeps causing arguments and by the time we do it, I'm not longer in the mood and its just miserable. He finally told me he's not attracted to be sexually but I don't know understand why he asked me out then? We have a really great time together otherwise, but this is causing so many fights. He won't even cuddle with me any more, I feel so taken forgranted but no matter what I say about it. He gets angry with me, and I am starting to get very resentful. I've often to do activities to help him get in the mood, but no matter what I say or do he seems to have an excuse a reason not to. It's really frustrating for me as I don't believe in ever saying no to your partner.

afaroo
Sep 5, 2011, 08:35 PM
How old are you both?

Cat1864
Sep 5, 2011, 10:28 PM
Gizme, are you better friends than 'lovers'? Does he enjoy your company even if he doesn't want sex?

He has told you he isn't sexually attracted to you. Is that the truth or a fact? For him it may be and that is what matters. For you to try to coerce or make him want to have sex when he says 'no' is very close to what is considered 'date rape' if the roles were reversed.

I suggest that you stop trying to get him into bed and find out if you have a romantic relationship or a friendship. If you can't handle being friends with him, then walk away. IF there is still a romantic relationship, then you can work on why he doesn't want sex which could be one or a combination of many different factors.

Please, stop trying to make something happen which is only causing negative emotions, actions and reactions.

Also, people do have a right to say 'no' to their partner for any reason. It is up to the partner to decide if he/she wants to stick around. A person does not have a right to try to make the partner do anything he/she doesn't want to do.

Personally, I think he should have walked away when he determined he wasn't attracted to you anymore and not allowed this to become the mess it has. Both of you need to think very hard about what you want. Can you still get it from each other or wold it be best to let go, heal and move on?