My daughter will be 3 in 2 months. Her father hasn't seen here in 2 yrs. I haven't received child support since June. My husband has raised her since she was 6 months old and wants to adopt her. What can I do?

You can petition for a step-parent adoption, and with the consent of the biological father, you can have your husband adopt. Without his consent, you will have a very difficult time since he has been paying support. A good place to start would be a consultation with an attorney who handles family law.

Any idea long he would have to not be paying support to not need his consent?

Very generally speaking, since we don't know your location, he would have to be proven to be a danger to the child to have his rights terminated involuntarily. Some areas allow you to cite willful abandonment as a reason for the TPR and adoption. However, financial support is considered to be contact, so you cannot use abandonment as a reason to have his rights terminated for the adoption. The length of time a parent had to be absent and not provide support varies by location, so knowing yours would be helpful.

You are very unlikely to get an involuntary termination on the basis of him missing a few support payments. Again, a local attorney can provide more insight, but courts are very reluctant to sever a parent-child relationship unless there is danger to the child, or a step-parent to assume the role. In ANY case, it is easier, and much less expensive with consent.

I'm not a legal expert, but I have to ask, have you tried to contact the biological father? If he consents to the adoption that will definitely speed up the process. It's my understanding that if you're married, and the Bio dad agrees to allow the adoption, then you can go forward with it.

Any question on law needs a general locale as laws vary by area. But most places will not allow a step parent adoption without the other parent's consent. Since he has, I assume, been ordered to pay support, the adoption will relieve Jim of that obligation. That's a strong incentive to consent.

Any idea long he would have to not be paying support to not need his consent?

According to the Supreme court of Nebraska... seven years.;)

I would like to thank everyone for their answers. I live in Ohio. Her sperm donor is a real piece of work. Nine months ago his wife sent me a message on Facebook demanding I bring my daughter to their house so they could see her. I said no. She then threatened to take me to court. I then talked to an attorney who told me if there was not a court order for visitation I did not have to let either of them (especially the wife see my child). I told the sperm donor I wanted him to sign away his rights. He told me he had to discuss it with his wife. She told me no. For about a month she kept sending me messages. Every time I told her I would only talk to him about my daughter. Needless to say he still has not grown up enough to contact me himself to see my baby. He has never wanted anything to do with her. Now Im not receiving the child support. Thanks again for your answers.

Do you have a court order for child support?

If you do NOT, then he doesn't OWE support.

Yes there is a court order for support so he does owe support. I couldn't care less about his money. I don't want it. I just want him legally out of my daughters life.

First, I object to the term "sperm donor". A sperm donor is man who deposits sperm in a sperm bank to help a woman conceive a child when there is an issue with fertility. The sperm donor may or may not get paid for their donation, but it should not be used as a pejorative term. That you saw something in this man that made you have sex with him. Apparently you were mistaken in what you saw in him, but now you have to live with that mistake.

Second, the attorney was correct. Absent a court order for visitation you are not required to allow it. But, if he goes to court for visitation, there is a high likelihood that he will get it. Furthermore, your refusal to try and work something out may work against you in court.

Third, if he has stopped paying the support ordered by the court, you go back to court to compel it. I believe OH has an agency to help collect support, contact them.

But the bottom line is that you are unlikely to get a step parent adoption approved without his consent.

Yes there is a court order for support so he does owe support. I could care less about his money. I dont want it. I just want him legally out of my daughters life.

I have to point something out.

Your daughter is his daughter too. Like it or not, both of you are the biological parents to this child.

It sounds like he has tried to see her, but you won't allow it.

You can't just expect him to give up his child just because you want him to. It doesn't work that way.

Would you give her up if he were the main caregiver, had met someone new, and wanted that person to adopt her? Would you just wash your hands of this child? Put yourself in his shoes.

Ohio will collect the child support awarded to you. They will go so far as put out a warrant for his arrest and incarcerate him. They can take away his driver's license as well. He owes the money to your CHILD. So why not go get it for her? Go to your local child support enforcement agency and get the ball rolling. He will pay, one way or another the Judge will see to it at a contempt hearing.