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View Full Version : He chose a visa before me


Cleo_patra87
Aug 28, 2011, 10:06 AM
My ex-boyfriend was "dating" another woman; they have only met 3 times because she lives out of town. She is very much in love with him and has promised him a dual visa, as his visa is expiring soon. I started dating him and was not aware of this girl and fell madly in love, and I believe he was in love with me, he did everything and anything to make me happy. We have spent almost everyday together, but when I found out about the other girl I felt a bit of my soul had been sucked away. She found out about me and called me. I was hurt and ended it with him there and then. Then when she asked him he denied our relationship to her. She told him if he still wants the visa he needs to cut contact with me and "show" everyone his devotion for her on Facebook. I am so humiliated as people keep asking me what is going on because we broke up less than a week ago, and no one in our city knows her. I am so heartbroken and miss him so much. I love him but hate him at the same time. I don't know what to do. And now, I am 1 month pregnant with his baby, I haven't told him yet. I feel so empty. And confused. He calls me sometimes with a blocked number (my iPhone app can detect blocked numbers) and just keeps quiet and then hangs up. What can I do? How can I stop this pain I'm in; will he ever come back? How do I tell him about the baby without ruining his visa chances?

Fr_Chuck
Aug 28, 2011, 10:44 AM
First no he really did not love you that deeply, sounds like he was using you also and he is ready to do the girl of the day for a visa. ( or he thinks will give him a visa) Next it appears that he was seeing her and you, and we not true anyway.

So you are humiliated, not the first women to be so. So you tell them he was a cheater and did you wrong.

Next how do you know it is his number ? If it is really blocked )

So you tell him about the baby, a baby has nothing to do with his ability to get a visa.

Cleo_patra87
Aug 28, 2011, 11:20 AM
Well, I have a student visa and could never ever share that with anyone. I am totally humiliated and I try to be strong but this pain is beyond imaginable. To answer your question about the calling; iPhone has an app called trapcall which unmasks blocked numbers and his number comes up after I hang up.
Immigration here is on point they know how people get used for permanent residency here, therefore they will make him prove how genuine his relationship is with her and if they know I'm pregnant with his baby it will be pretty bad for him and the girl will probably make it worse. I know I shouldn't condone what he is doing but either way ill hurt; if he gets deported my baby won't see his/her's father. If he stays I continue to die inside.

Fr_Chuck
Aug 28, 2011, 12:46 PM
I think he made his choice about you, and no one should be forced or blackmailed to stay with someone because of a baby.

So you tell him, about the baby, and if he wants a relationship, even a long distance one that will also be his choice

Fr_Chuck
Aug 28, 2011, 12:47 PM
I see no reason to delete your post ( from your report)
No personal info listed in the question itself.
User name may be real name but that does not violate site rules.

In fact there has been recommendations that real names be used

Cleo_patra87
Aug 28, 2011, 03:16 PM
Ive had a horrible week and dealing with my family will make things so much worse. Its been one thing after another and I am all out.

Toooldforthis
Sep 5, 2011, 04:02 PM
Dumb him & take him to the bank w/ child support. A dog like that deserves no better. Don't waste any more time on this looser.