A friend has been having an affair with my husband.they were together in my house with my two babies present. I found out and pulled her hair. She laid an assault charge against me and I landed up being arrested and going to court. She consequently dropped the charges but I need to punish her now for everything. What can I do legally to her

Ummm, nothing. She didn't trespass, she didn't ASSAULT you, and she was nice enough to keep you out of jail for assault (or at least off probation) by not pursing charges. You need to do something legal (like divorce) to the gem you married. She didn't betray you, HE did. She didn't cheat on you, HE did. You need to get control of your anger, and get your priorities straight.

Are you going to "punish" your husband too. Remember, you assaulted the friend. No legal basis for punishment. Re read kcomissiong's posting as it hits all relevant points.

Ummm, nothing.
Actually this is incorrect, depending on where the OP lives, she can sue for alienation of affections, which, basically means she can sue the girlfriend or husband for destroying the marriage. Her chances are greatly increased if she lives in North Carolina.

It's a silly law, and I only know about it because I met a kid who spent a weekend on his boss's yacht, which he procured from his wife's boyfriend when he sued them both.

Link: Wikipedia: Alienation of Affections (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alienation_of_affections)

Well, alienation of affections does exist but I imagine that uncontrolled anger and physical violence are a great defense...

From the link you posted,
prior marital problems do not establish a defense unless such unhappiness had reached a level of negating love between the spouses. I would say the physical violence or the threat of physical violence negates love, and she would have one hell of a hard time proving that she wasn't violent during the duration of the relationship if it is already on record that she attacked someone else (albeit the other woman)

I am so sorry that this happened to her, but instead of focusing her energy on anger and revenge, (especially on the wrong party), she could put that energy into collecting the pieces of her life, and moving on for herself and her children. Anger management wouldn't hurt either.

he can sue the girlfriend or husband for destroying the marriage

I could be reading your link wrong (I am GREAT at that!) but I think she could only bring action against the third party.

Actually this is incorrect, depending on where the OP lives, she can sue for alienation of affections, which, basically means she can sue the girlfriend or husband for destroying the marriage. Her chances are greatly increased if she lives in North Carolina.
Are you sure that the OP lives in the USA?;)

Funny. Somebody just asked me the same question another site: one where they pay for the answer. :)

Guess they don't like the answer that they can't do anything.

Well they want to pay me 100 dollars I will tell them they can do anything they want

Actually this is incorrect, depending on where the OP lives, she can sue for alienation of affections, which, basically means she can sue the girlfriend or husband for destroying the marriage. Her chances are greatly increased if she lives in North Carolina.

It's a silly law, and I only know about it because I met a kid who spent a weekend on his boss's yacht, which he procured from his wife's boyfriend when he sued them both.

Link: Wikipedia: Alienation of Affections (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alienation_of_affections)

Since there is no divorce then there is no standing. So no she can't sue.

You should be happy she dropped the charges. As far as suing, what are your damages specifically that you would put into your complaint? That she was having sex with your husband? Sorry. It won't fly.