I had two kids with my ex-girlfriend. She disappeared with the kids for 4 years. The state of VA took them away from her because of abuse. I wasn't in a good financial position when the kids were taken, so my Mom told me to sign my rights over to her. She made it clear that we would never see the kids again if I didn't. She assured me that I could see them and talk to them anytime I wanted. She has had them for 4 years now and I have repeatedly tried to maintain a relationship with them but my Mom has discouraged them from being close to me and, even worse, she is raising them without any discipline-they are told that they are always right and I have some serious concerns about their education-my son is being homeschooled and is never outside playing. Also, my Mom says she can't tell my 15 year old daughter what to do. In short, I don't agree with the way they are being raised and I'd like to look into custody. I live in PA, they live in GA, also, they just have custody, it was not an adoption. My son is 12, my daughter is 15.

Thank you
Jason Springer

Without knowing what you signed its hard to advise. You NEED to get an attorney and assemble a case to gain custody. Your mom may have been right at the time. The state, having taken them from their mother, may have placed them in foster care or for adoption if you or your mother did not take them in.

But that is no excuse for your mother to care for them as you are saying she does. But to convince a court to change custody, you will need to prove she is unfit as a parent and that you are fit.

NEVER give up on your children, that is a MUST, I've grown up without a proper father and I have never felt complete, speak to their mother and be sure to set things straight, if not then you may need to consider getting an attourney for the courts x best of luck x

my Mom told me to sign my rights over to her.

Hello Jason,
Notwithstanding the presumption favoring a parent over a non-parent is a strong one, it is rebutted when certain factors are established by clear and convincing evidence
There are five factors which have to be considered in Va:
(1) parental unfitness,
(2) a previous order of divestiture,
(3) voluntary relinquishment,
(4) abandonment, and
(5) special facts and circumstances

Smith v. Pond, 5 Va. App. 161, 360 S.E.2d 885
In this case the Virginia Court of Appeals reversed the trial court’s custody award to a third party. In doing so, the appellate court noted that, if the presumption favoring parental custody is rebutted, as it was in this case (based upon voluntary relinquishment), the best interests of the child still must be considered.