I was seeing some questions, I didn't have answers for them but it brought up questions of my own.
I always assumed me and my daughters father had joint custody.
But I guess that may not be the case. I don't understand the child support paper work at all.
Basically, she lives with me 100% of the time. There was no contact at all for 6 years, then she got to see him 1 time so far in the last year. He pays child support. But he can't make any decisions for her. I make all the choices. We alternate years of filing taxes with her as a dependent. And I am not required to let him see her. He can see her at my discretion, and on my schedule.

So what kind of custody is this?

Are these the terms of a court order you are describing? Unless there is a court-ordered child custody order in place, a child's parents share custody.

I'm not sure. That is all that they told us and listed in the child support paperwork.

Ok, let me rephrase:

You and the father of the child were never marred, right?

You say "that is all that they told us and listed in the child support paperwork". Who is "they"?

By "paperwork", are you saying that you have applied with a state child support collection agency? If so, normally such an agency is not going to go to court except to get child support. They don't care about custody or visitation. So, if you were never marred you don't have a divorce decreee which would have defined your respective custody rights. Therefore, since I believe you would know if youi went to court specifically for a custody/visitation order, the chances are you didn't do that.

Therefore, it follows, there is no custody order in place. Without such an order, both parents, in most jurisdictions, equally share custodial rights.

Jenniepepsi was married, right, Jen?

No I wasn't married to her father. My husband was her step father. He never adopted her and has no rights.

They is the people at the court house that did the mediation with us. They are the ones who sent us the paperwork in the mail.

I didn't file. The state filed on my behalf because we get medical from the state.


So we share rights then? We never went to court except when we went to talk to a mediator about the child support.

So I can't move without his permission? Or change schools for her, or make medical decisions without him?

...
so we share rights then? we never went to court except when we went to talk to a mediator about the child support.

so i can't move without his permission? or change schools for her, or make medical decisions without him?

Ok, I now understand that because you receive state aid, the child support enforcement agency filed suit against the father for child support, and you participated in mediation regarding child support.

Mediation would be regarding child support. There is no court order in place regarding custody. What you may have agreed to in this mediation would be, unless approved by a judge, not binding.

So no, you are free to move with the child whether you have his permission. If you do move, however, you should tell him so that he can't accuse you of parental kidnapping. The flip side of the coin is that he can take the child too.

And either of you can make educational and medical decisions for the child. Neither one needs the other parent's consent for these decisions, unless the school or medical provider requires it.

OK that makes sense. So basically, he has all the rights in the world, and just doesn't excersize them, and so that has basically left me as making all the decisions even though he can too.

ok that makes sense. so basically, he has all the rights in the world, and just doesnt excersize them, and so that has basically left me as making all the decisions even though he can too.

Basically, yes.