Rheem 40 gal hot water heater Model #81V400 B. Water to hot, temp control is 110 on both, still can't stand to touch water. Changed out both top and bottom themostats and still to hot... what do we do...

Did you change out the elements also? The elements may be the culprit. If you know how to test the elements to see if they are functioning properly, then test them. If you do not know how to properly test them, them call up a repairman and have him test them and properly diagnose your probme. Something is very wrong here and you don't want this to continue for fear of scalding yourself.