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View Full Version : Girlfriend dumped me and can't figure out the reason


Jenny007
Aug 11, 2011, 08:57 PM
Hi everyone I'm hoping you give me some respectful answers and just because I'm so confuse right now. I had a girlfriend for like 3 yrs and a half, I'm a woman, and she is my 2nd most important person in the world. She has been very supportive with me all these years, and I have been as well. I hadn't given so much financially because I was in Europe, and I couldn't get a work permit. I am from Latin America, and she is European.

I thought everything was perfect, as I managed to live quite a few years with her thanks to an English school. I was so happy with her. I never saw anything wrong through these past years, until I came to my country because my visa had expired, and she promised me she would wait for me, as she had been doing for the last couple of years. First week was OK, being back home, and seeing family etc, but the week after was like she was being so tired, because she works so hard, and didn't want to connect on msn, or skype, and OK, its understandable, but come on, it is the only way to communicate when you re far away from your love one, isn't it? She said... "ok, I am going to try to look for a job for you", then they told her I wouldn't be able to work in her country, which made her felt so bad, and that day she dumped me via text.

I cried like crazy, I went mad because she had done that to me, as I still have the return flight thinking that I would come back. Then two days passed. She was quite confused, and depressed, because she doesn't have money, her mum is sick, and dependent, and I am far away, and I don't have future in her country, which is true, but why to give up so soon? Perhaps some friends are telling her to leave me, I've no idea! After a couple of days she confirmed that we should break up. I was devastated, and she said she was too. I was in such a depression for like 3 days, and angry asking questions to myself with no answers.

Then she wanted to contact me at the same time that I sent her an email with those questions. She said she would try everything to save our relationship, but that I wouldn't be hoping anything. Now the weekend passed, and hardly talked with her as she said its best not to talk so often, and me thinking that I'm dying to even hear her voice! But she didn't want that. I stopped sending her sms, and after 3 days she sent an email telling me that she is OK with friends, and I guess she is eating again, as she wasn't eating for a couple of days. Like I did. So I got quite mad, because she mentions that she was thinking about me, and called me babe. Quite sweet toward myself, which made me think she was going to come back to me.

I called her 2 days after, I mean today, and even though friends had told me to stop calling her, so I will have a bit of dignity, I felt it was the right thing to do. Then she picked up the phone was quite cold, different, and I asked her to connect, and she said she couldn't, that maybe tomorrow. Also I asked her about that "thinking about you". She said yes, I miss you, but we can't be together because of the long distance.

Now I decided to write her an email telling her that if she doesn't love me, or want to come back with me, its better to stop sending me those emails. Also I told her why she didn't tell me all this when I was living in her country. I'm so depressed, as just a month ago she was so sweet, and caring, as she always has been. Now she sounds so determine, and like it's the right thing to do. I might not receive an answer, but I guess it's the best thing I've ever done with her for now.

Thanks.


Edited/T

Pookamook147
Aug 11, 2011, 09:06 PM
Well like yhu said I'm going to say that maybey it was her friends but it could be your long distance relitonship I hope this helps bye !

amicon
Aug 12, 2011, 12:29 AM
I think you accept that this is over and you go no contact so you can start healing and moving on.

Break ups are tough but we all survive them.

talaniman
Aug 12, 2011, 12:42 PM
She has probably been feeling this coming, with your inability to have a future in her country, and then the opportunity that your visit presented, to end things without a lot of drama (cowardly, as it was), she just took the easy way out. LONG DISTANCE, and as hurtful and shocking as it was, I think you accept it, and FINALLY build a life for yourself.

You have no choice, but to leave her alone, and break the emotional, and financial dependence on her, and stand on your own.

Break ups suck for everyone, but they CAN lead to better things. And in time it will, but for now, you have to deal with the personal hurt that a break up brings.

vanheart
Aug 14, 2011, 04:23 AM
I agree with Tal.

The dumpee is always the last to know & are the one who gets their heart broken.

Screw LD, screw gender, screw age or education...

When someone no longer wants you, then, walk away.

With your head up. Period.

We can profess until the cows come home.

Believe me. Just go NC.