My ex of 8 years recently told me she was unhappy and didn't want to be with me ! We have two young girls together which are my world. I've had to move back round my dads. Its been a month now, and I so want her back. I pleaded with her for the first 2 weeks to get back with me, but she's having none of it, and told me she only loves me as the father to our young girls!

I've been stronger these last 2 weeks, and haven't asked for her back, but deep down it tearing me apart. I love her so much she looks stunning, she's lost so much weight, and when I drop the girls off the other night, she just had her hair done, and looked stunning! I just wanted to beg for her back, we're was saving for a house deposit, and really thought I'm with this girl for the rest of my life!

I can't sleep, I'm not eating, and I've been to the doctor, and put on anti depressants. I feel like I just want to go in a corner and die! I've got told last night she's been on a date already, and that she's well shot of me (she kept nagging to get married, but I just kept dragging my feet saying wait till we get a house). She's so strong, and different with me now. I know she's not missing me, and she's just so damn calm. Every time I see her I want her back. Its so hard, as Ive got to pick and drop of the girls and see her. My whole life is crap, and I really can't be dealing with this.

When I'm at work, I can see myself just getting so emotional, and nearly bursting out in tears. The thought of another bloke round my children going out on days out, will be enough for me to do something I will regret! I've been riding past her house every night, and the blinds are always shut. We never shut the blinds! Who's in my house? I'm really struggling with this :(



Edited/T

I'm so sorry. There's nothing much to say except we feel for you, and most of the world has been through this. You can retain a bit of hope that she will meet a string of useless guys and come running back to you, but odds are against it (but still, as you are getting in your car, tell her how beautiful she is, and think of a different way to say it each time). You have to keep your chin up for the children's sake for now, and time will heal this eventually. FORCE yourself to not drive by at night, or she might find out, and it's just torture anyway.

Thanks for the reply , yes it is torture I've had butterflys in my tummy ever since we broke up ! I won't to hope she will come back to me but by the way she is round me now I don't think this will happen. Im still in shock and despair with this and its been a month and I don't feel at all beter :( I just can't see any hope to this at all

The only cure is something to do and people to be around. Fix up an old junker, target practice (to get some frustration out), learn a new skill or take a course for it, take movies of your girls and edit them, buy a cookbook and cook some new dishes with the help of the girls, get a kitten, ask a friend to move in and share the rent.

Like you have said, its only been a month, and you are still in shock and despair. Anyone would be to be honest, and this will last for a while yet. At least you had the good sense to see a doctor rather quickly. Good move, and it will get better but likely will take a while, before you can regroup and build your own life without her.

Just be a good loving dad, as the emotional dust settles, and you can see a bit straighter. It will eventually.

Sorry for your loss.

Thanks for the replys wos feeling strong today until she drop the girls of again ! I can't describe the feelings I still have for her I can't see myself ever getting over this girl I went in to complete shock after she left, I wos strong in front of her but when she left I burst in to tears in my mums arms . Im so weak and vurnable its unreal I'm living my life in a constant daze .

Nothing wrong with being weak and vulnerable, that's human, and normal after any catastrophe. The trick is don't wallow in it, or let it keep you from forming a plan of action for how to keep yourself going, so you can deal with those feelings.

She's made her choice. Obviously she means it. I'm not saying this to upset you, I'm saying this so you realize that your longing for her, it doesn't matter. It's over.

You two were together for a long time, and it will take time to get on with your life. You have your kids, you have a job, so it's time to get busy with those things, time to put her behind you.

Have you considered counseling?

Think I will need councseling to be honest as I just can't function properly with out her! Im a complete mess inside its tearing me apart , I've just dropped the girls of early and she's blatantly had some one round :( I know its over I'm just struggling to acept it

Counseling is a very good idea.

You two were together for 8 years, you're not going to get over this overnight, because you still care for her. She's over it only because she's moved on, she no longer wants to be with you, so for her it's easy to let go.

You need to find a way to accept this and move on with your life. Counseling will help you do that.