acpp1027
Aug 9, 2011, 08:03 PM
Okay. Brace yourself. This is a complicated and long story and you might think "too young for love" but I'm human, I need to rant and I need advice, so here it goes.
Story line
Identical twins. Let's call them Eric and Josh. 7th grade I had both Eric and Josh in my classes. Beginning of 7th grade, I had a crush on Josh. He kept ignoring me for some trashy slut who we can call Rachel ._. So I eventually got over my crush for Josh, and later on maybe a couple months later, started developing feelings for Eric. Really strong feelings. He told me he liked me, but never acted on it. He'd wrap his arms around me, call me sweet names, yet the end of school came along and nothing prospered from this. Summer came and I was ignored more than you can imagine. He'd pay no attention to me, stopped calling me, and barely said a word to me. I was utterly confused. Late summer out of the blue, Josh started speaking to me again. When I say speaking I mean, SPEAKING. I hinted that he had a crush on me, but paid no attention to it considering the fact I was gogo gaga for Eric. As time went by, Eric continued to ignore me and became such a perverted *******. During the summer his brother Josh and I became really close as friends and he eventually mentioned that he liked me. I didn't know what to say, AGAIN, considering the fact I was still not over his brother and forsure did not want to mention that to Josh. "I like your brother, not you" Sounds kind of harsh, so nothing was said. As time passed by, Josh was sweet to me, defended me, complimented me, and I guess I subconsciously ended up having feelings for Josh again. WRONG, but I couldn't control how I felt at the time. I didn't realize what was going on. School arrived again and he asked me out around September. I accepted. At that point I had myself convinced I was completely over Eric, which at the point I was. Never thought of his as other than "a perverted *******" Josh and I went out, everything was perfect until DUNDUNDUN. On the first week of dating him, he cheated on me with rachel. STUPID SLUT. Me being the idiot, went back out with him 5 days later after he apologized and stopped talking to her cold turkey. Then again, I couldn't control whether he continued talking to her or not, I wasn't in any of his classes, I wouldn't know. We continued dating, but then it just got out of control. He became obsessive and extremely jealous. At one point, he ordered me to stop being best friends with my best guy friend that I've known LONGER than I've known him. It got out of hand so I broke up with him in December. Christmas break came, we barely spoke, then school arrived again in January and we had this on and off friendship going on. He begged me to go back out with him, but I kept denying it. I just didn't see him the way I did before. About 2 weeks back into school, Eric started speaking to me again. As a friend, but completely random. We became SUPER close within 3 months of talking, almost best friends. Josh became suspicious and started complaining on how "I'm in love with eric and how I'm having an affair with him" First off. I can't have an affair with his brother, considering the fact I wasn't dating josh anymore. -.- Second, In reality, I can do as I please. There is no law against it. Of course, thinking about it, having feelings for 2 guys let alone, brothers, sounds very bad. It really does and I won't deny it, but try and put yourself in my shoes. It wasn't easy whatsoever. Anyway, continuing the story, I kept being threatened and yelled at by Josh because I was friends with Eric again. Josh would even get his parents to side with him and ground Eric every time they'd find out Eric spoke to me. To save our friendship, Eric changed my name on his phone. Everything was great for a while, until he got caught. He kept trying to save our friendship but things got really out of hand.
One day Eric and I were texting, this is what went down.
Eric: You know, I don't understand my family, I don't have ANY feelings for you!
Me: I know! Your brother is crazy ._.
Eric: Well... you know... when you think about it, what we do is kind of IS flirting.. we talk all the time, text all the time.. and well, maybe they're right?
Me: Uhm, what we do is called being friends? I do this with all my other best friends and that doesn't mean I'm in love with every one of them?
Eric: Well.. since we're very close friends, I don't think I should lie to you any longer. I'm having mixed feelings about you and I really like you.
Me: WHAT?
Eric: I know, I know, I shouldn't be saying this now, but I honestly do. I had to tell you sooner or later.
Me:.. One quick question.
Eric: Sure, what?
Me: Why all of the sudden this? I'm the same person I was last year, so why now?
Eric: I never stopped.
Me: Wait, what? Then why was I ignored all summer?
Eric: Because I noticed you and my brother had gotten really close, he'd come home saying " _______ did the cutest thing today!" or " _________ is too adorable" I thought you lost feelings for me..
Me: YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
Eric: Yeah.. I realize that now.. let's just try and not make this awkward at school tomorrow k?
And the conversation ended there. I honestly didn't have feelings for him at that point, and never saw that coming. Weeks passed and everything was still the same, since 7th grade he had changed. No longer perverted, sweet as can be, but I still saw him as none other than a friend. A month went by and I was having problems with my family, which I obviously told him about. He sent me about the most adorable response I could have ever read. Right then and there, I had as we say "butterflies" in my stomach. I eventually told him I as well had feelings for him, but that nothing could ever come about this. Even if we wanted to, nothing could ever come out of this. We both agreed and continued to talk as friends and yet josh was still on our case. It kept escalating till Josh ended up getting his parents to transfer them out of school into a different school. I couldn't believe what I had heard when I found out. It got so out of hand that Josh threatened to kill me by text message. He was being vulgar, yelling at me, trying to get me to admit that I had "sex, or a relationship with his brother" I got scared and mentioned it to my older brother who mentioned it to my mother who mentioned it to the principal. Long story short, Josh got suspended and my parents filed a restraining order. I can't blame them, they were only doing what they thought was best. Protecting their children. By the time Eric's last day had arrived, I couldn't be any more depressed. We spent the last day pretty much just hanging out, but making the best out of it. The clock hit 3:40 and my heart dropped. He gave me a letter and told me not to open it until I get home. He gave me an enormous hug and I felt like I couldn't be happier and then gave me an unexpected kiss and that was the last I saw of him. When I got home I opened the note that he wrote me.
This is what it said.
"I'm writing this to you as a reminder. I want you to know I will always love you. No matter what. I'm sorry for everything that has happened between us. I swear to god I'll see you again. I know odds are bad, but time will heal things up a bit. Keep this always to see the bright side of things. I really love you and again, I'm sorry for everything. By the way, this isn't goodbye, it's a see you later :p Stay strong please I will never give up or go anywhere without you in my mind. Always remember that. No matter what the outcome. I <3 you."
Now this is where I start venting
It's been a year and a half and I haven't heard of him. Not once. I don't know what to do. His parents don't allow him to speak to me whatsoever, they hate me along with his brother and I'm afraid to say it, but.. I think I'm in love with him. After transferring into a different school, their grades went down the drain and failed the year. They're NOW entering High school this school year. One entire year below me. They're getting into my home high school, which we can call Verona, which I'm not enrolled in at the moment, but I've been thinking about transferring into.. considering that the school I'm in now, sucks **** and I miss all my old friends. But now that they're going into high school, I'm worried what's going to happen. Or if I could even transfer anymore.. I go to Verona's the football games and their events, so there's a 50/50 chance of seeing both of them. Geez, seeing Josh after an entire year, while having a restraining order against him... seeing ERIC, after an entire year. What would go through both their minds.. They're going to be there and I'm afraid of what might happen. Eric and I ended on such a good note, yet we haven't spoken in a year. I always deny this, considering I'm so young but.. I honestly think I'm in love with the kid. I have not stopped thinking of him ever since the last moment I saw him. So, I'm afraid of Eric's reaction towards seeing me. Things could've changed.. And not that I'm scared of what Josh "might do to me" I don't think he'd do a thing to me. He's harmless. But, I'm just afraid of their reactions. If I were to transfer into Verona, I wouldn't mind being in the same school and just ignoring the both of them. But just the fact of me being there, might cause Josh to get his parents to transfer them AGAIN, and I don't want to be the reason for that to happen. I don't want Eric to hate me. And I know that if they transfer out of Verona because I'm there, he will. :/ I'm just afraid. I don't know whether to take his word for it, or to just move on. It's been a year and I honestly see no silver lining to any of this. For those of you who actually READ this entire thing, I'm honestly and truthfully grateful. I give you my full respect. I don't really expect much of an answer.. but I needed to vent. Thanks guys, SO much.
Story line
Identical twins. Let's call them Eric and Josh. 7th grade I had both Eric and Josh in my classes. Beginning of 7th grade, I had a crush on Josh. He kept ignoring me for some trashy slut who we can call Rachel ._. So I eventually got over my crush for Josh, and later on maybe a couple months later, started developing feelings for Eric. Really strong feelings. He told me he liked me, but never acted on it. He'd wrap his arms around me, call me sweet names, yet the end of school came along and nothing prospered from this. Summer came and I was ignored more than you can imagine. He'd pay no attention to me, stopped calling me, and barely said a word to me. I was utterly confused. Late summer out of the blue, Josh started speaking to me again. When I say speaking I mean, SPEAKING. I hinted that he had a crush on me, but paid no attention to it considering the fact I was gogo gaga for Eric. As time went by, Eric continued to ignore me and became such a perverted *******. During the summer his brother Josh and I became really close as friends and he eventually mentioned that he liked me. I didn't know what to say, AGAIN, considering the fact I was still not over his brother and forsure did not want to mention that to Josh. "I like your brother, not you" Sounds kind of harsh, so nothing was said. As time passed by, Josh was sweet to me, defended me, complimented me, and I guess I subconsciously ended up having feelings for Josh again. WRONG, but I couldn't control how I felt at the time. I didn't realize what was going on. School arrived again and he asked me out around September. I accepted. At that point I had myself convinced I was completely over Eric, which at the point I was. Never thought of his as other than "a perverted *******" Josh and I went out, everything was perfect until DUNDUNDUN. On the first week of dating him, he cheated on me with rachel. STUPID SLUT. Me being the idiot, went back out with him 5 days later after he apologized and stopped talking to her cold turkey. Then again, I couldn't control whether he continued talking to her or not, I wasn't in any of his classes, I wouldn't know. We continued dating, but then it just got out of control. He became obsessive and extremely jealous. At one point, he ordered me to stop being best friends with my best guy friend that I've known LONGER than I've known him. It got out of hand so I broke up with him in December. Christmas break came, we barely spoke, then school arrived again in January and we had this on and off friendship going on. He begged me to go back out with him, but I kept denying it. I just didn't see him the way I did before. About 2 weeks back into school, Eric started speaking to me again. As a friend, but completely random. We became SUPER close within 3 months of talking, almost best friends. Josh became suspicious and started complaining on how "I'm in love with eric and how I'm having an affair with him" First off. I can't have an affair with his brother, considering the fact I wasn't dating josh anymore. -.- Second, In reality, I can do as I please. There is no law against it. Of course, thinking about it, having feelings for 2 guys let alone, brothers, sounds very bad. It really does and I won't deny it, but try and put yourself in my shoes. It wasn't easy whatsoever. Anyway, continuing the story, I kept being threatened and yelled at by Josh because I was friends with Eric again. Josh would even get his parents to side with him and ground Eric every time they'd find out Eric spoke to me. To save our friendship, Eric changed my name on his phone. Everything was great for a while, until he got caught. He kept trying to save our friendship but things got really out of hand.
One day Eric and I were texting, this is what went down.
Eric: You know, I don't understand my family, I don't have ANY feelings for you!
Me: I know! Your brother is crazy ._.
Eric: Well... you know... when you think about it, what we do is kind of IS flirting.. we talk all the time, text all the time.. and well, maybe they're right?
Me: Uhm, what we do is called being friends? I do this with all my other best friends and that doesn't mean I'm in love with every one of them?
Eric: Well.. since we're very close friends, I don't think I should lie to you any longer. I'm having mixed feelings about you and I really like you.
Me: WHAT?
Eric: I know, I know, I shouldn't be saying this now, but I honestly do. I had to tell you sooner or later.
Me:.. One quick question.
Eric: Sure, what?
Me: Why all of the sudden this? I'm the same person I was last year, so why now?
Eric: I never stopped.
Me: Wait, what? Then why was I ignored all summer?
Eric: Because I noticed you and my brother had gotten really close, he'd come home saying " _______ did the cutest thing today!" or " _________ is too adorable" I thought you lost feelings for me..
Me: YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
Eric: Yeah.. I realize that now.. let's just try and not make this awkward at school tomorrow k?
And the conversation ended there. I honestly didn't have feelings for him at that point, and never saw that coming. Weeks passed and everything was still the same, since 7th grade he had changed. No longer perverted, sweet as can be, but I still saw him as none other than a friend. A month went by and I was having problems with my family, which I obviously told him about. He sent me about the most adorable response I could have ever read. Right then and there, I had as we say "butterflies" in my stomach. I eventually told him I as well had feelings for him, but that nothing could ever come about this. Even if we wanted to, nothing could ever come out of this. We both agreed and continued to talk as friends and yet josh was still on our case. It kept escalating till Josh ended up getting his parents to transfer them out of school into a different school. I couldn't believe what I had heard when I found out. It got so out of hand that Josh threatened to kill me by text message. He was being vulgar, yelling at me, trying to get me to admit that I had "sex, or a relationship with his brother" I got scared and mentioned it to my older brother who mentioned it to my mother who mentioned it to the principal. Long story short, Josh got suspended and my parents filed a restraining order. I can't blame them, they were only doing what they thought was best. Protecting their children. By the time Eric's last day had arrived, I couldn't be any more depressed. We spent the last day pretty much just hanging out, but making the best out of it. The clock hit 3:40 and my heart dropped. He gave me a letter and told me not to open it until I get home. He gave me an enormous hug and I felt like I couldn't be happier and then gave me an unexpected kiss and that was the last I saw of him. When I got home I opened the note that he wrote me.
This is what it said.
"I'm writing this to you as a reminder. I want you to know I will always love you. No matter what. I'm sorry for everything that has happened between us. I swear to god I'll see you again. I know odds are bad, but time will heal things up a bit. Keep this always to see the bright side of things. I really love you and again, I'm sorry for everything. By the way, this isn't goodbye, it's a see you later :p Stay strong please I will never give up or go anywhere without you in my mind. Always remember that. No matter what the outcome. I <3 you."
Now this is where I start venting
It's been a year and a half and I haven't heard of him. Not once. I don't know what to do. His parents don't allow him to speak to me whatsoever, they hate me along with his brother and I'm afraid to say it, but.. I think I'm in love with him. After transferring into a different school, their grades went down the drain and failed the year. They're NOW entering High school this school year. One entire year below me. They're getting into my home high school, which we can call Verona, which I'm not enrolled in at the moment, but I've been thinking about transferring into.. considering that the school I'm in now, sucks **** and I miss all my old friends. But now that they're going into high school, I'm worried what's going to happen. Or if I could even transfer anymore.. I go to Verona's the football games and their events, so there's a 50/50 chance of seeing both of them. Geez, seeing Josh after an entire year, while having a restraining order against him... seeing ERIC, after an entire year. What would go through both their minds.. They're going to be there and I'm afraid of what might happen. Eric and I ended on such a good note, yet we haven't spoken in a year. I always deny this, considering I'm so young but.. I honestly think I'm in love with the kid. I have not stopped thinking of him ever since the last moment I saw him. So, I'm afraid of Eric's reaction towards seeing me. Things could've changed.. And not that I'm scared of what Josh "might do to me" I don't think he'd do a thing to me. He's harmless. But, I'm just afraid of their reactions. If I were to transfer into Verona, I wouldn't mind being in the same school and just ignoring the both of them. But just the fact of me being there, might cause Josh to get his parents to transfer them AGAIN, and I don't want to be the reason for that to happen. I don't want Eric to hate me. And I know that if they transfer out of Verona because I'm there, he will. :/ I'm just afraid. I don't know whether to take his word for it, or to just move on. It's been a year and I honestly see no silver lining to any of this. For those of you who actually READ this entire thing, I'm honestly and truthfully grateful. I give you my full respect. I don't really expect much of an answer.. but I needed to vent. Thanks guys, SO much.